Mental Health and BDSM

[quietwillow]

What affect does mental health have on BDSM relationships?

If one or both parties have a mental illness, how do you handle it?

Can folks with a mental illness be successful at BDSM?

Does the BDSM community have a higher incidence of mental health than nillas or a lower one?

Just pondering ...


quiet

 

[Siren]

 

[MissTaken]

I imagine there are subs who suffer from all varieties of mental health issues who are seeking belonging and structure in their life.

I know there are subs who fell into a pattern of repeated domestic violence in their non BDSM relations and came to BDSM.

Certainly there are Doms who may be abusive individuals, have anger control issues or anti social behavior traits.

Ummm in any case, I don't believe anyone should be offering themselves to another, D/s or not, unless they are whole, self confident and healthy.

The neediness is a crack in the foundation of the relationship.

 

[Lancecastor]

My thoughts.

1. BDSM is generally considered deviant behavior, that's why the practicioners are called "freaks" and "pervs".

But that doesn't make everyone who enjoys some bondage or a spanking mentally ill.

2. Anonymous bulliten boards are hotbeds for deviants, the marginalized, lonely and oddballs of various sorts.

But that doesn't make everyone who uses an anonBB mentally ill.

3. An AnnonBB BDSM site is likely to have as its Members some very unusual people compared to the general population.

But being unusual doesn't equate with mentally ill.

4. Mentally ill people make up a certain segment of the population. Some are into BDSM. Some are devout Roman Catholics. Some pour your coffee. Some drive cab. Some host network television shows.

Being mentally ill doesn't automatically make you more likely to be in one place or field of interest over another.

5. Some people who are into BDSM are mentally ill. But the causal link between the two is no more likely than a mentally ill person being a Priest, I'd wager.

JMHO;

Lance

 

[MissTaken]

I meant to say that!

Really, I did!

Those who seek certain aspects of BDSM and who are mentally ill are no more prevalent in this arena than any other.

It just may seem that way because we are "freaks" by someone's standards. I am not sure who's standards as I have found, at times. that the most vehement critics of BDSM enjoy a bit of spanking now and again, too.

 

[Siren]

 

[MissTaken]

Ah, but the judgements exist.

As so often happens, when someone is open about things they do that we wouldnt' normally do we scoff them, may even call them freaks.

Then, taking it a step further, they may be charged with mental illness.

IT just ain't always so!

 

[WriterDom]

I've found the bdsm community to be more sane than the online community. Not to say that we don't have our nuts.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: My thoughts.

1. BDSM is generally considered deviant behavior, that's why the practicioners are called "freaks" and "pervs".

B]

The Psych Lords have dismissed the idea that bdsm is deviant behavior years ago. And I don't find that surprising. I've yet to meet a Psych grad student who wasn't kinky.

 

[Cirrus]

I have, in the broad sense, a "mental illness". I suffer from mild depression and anxiety. I'm not on medication, and as I said it's very mild. I'd say 96% of the time I'm fine "normal" and happy. The depression prevails when I have an episode, and I will get LOW for no apparent reason. I deal with it simply be remembering it will pass.

I don't know how this would figure into a BDSM relationship, but there it is.

BDSM does satisfy one need for me though...I can channel anger by being hurt. Someone would probably say I'm way screwed up, but I can deal. I have issues, to say the least, about my childhood/family, and for some reason pain helps me deal with it. I don't self injure, and don't think I ever would, but someone ELSE hurting me in a controlled, consensual, emotional relationship does wonders for me.

 

[kate8417]

Re: My thoughts.

5. Some people who are into BDSM are mentally ill. But the causal link between the two is no more likely than a mentally ill person being a Priest, I'd wager.

JMHO;

Lance [/B]

Well said, Lance!

It was thought, in centuries past, that gifted people were mentally disturbed, or insane. Their "gift" was a sign that they were "touched" by the gods. Actually, quite the opposite has been found to be true; the gifted actually have a lower incidence of mental illness than the general populace. And a higher incidence of kink, I suspect.

With the bright, reasonable, and astute minds I've encountered on this board, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out that the BDSM community, on the whole, is representative of a brighter segment of the population. Let's face it--this sort of kink DOES take some imagination!

Happy Day!

 

[MissTaken]

Welcome to the forum, Kate!

And thanks for the kind observations and words.

The BDSM community is filled with all sorts. Comparing this forum to others I have encountered, yes, I would agree the lot are a bit more astute and intelligent than in other arenas.

To that end, I think that the somewhat more serious nature of discussion here is what keeps the "thinkers" here.

I hope you will continue to join in.

 

["angel" eve]

my take

my girl and i both have problems with depression.

however, i think we are some sort of living proof to the general concensus here, that there are going to be some ppl involved in BDSM who have mental illnesses, same as there are some ppl in the general populace who have mental illnesses.

we tend to shy away from BDSM when either of us is having a day that the depression is really showing it's ugly face. we know that BDSM and depression do not mix well. someone gets hurt emotionally. it's just a bad idea. at least for us.

to me, this says that we are more stable than some, in that we can realise this. BDSM is not an outlet for mental depression. mental depression is a sort of handicap we're learning to work through and around.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Mental Health & BDSM

I worked in a mental hospital for a while and the majority of the people there who were mentally ill were not kinky at all. If anything, they all had unresolved sexual fantasies that were repressed.

Eb