Mental block... NOT.

[eyesclosed]

Like most people here, I find Literotica to be a great creative vent. The challenge I find in submitting and developing material is the help I need - to bring my stories to the level I wish to present.

I guess a lot has to do with my living environment. I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say I can't exactly write this stuff while at the dinner table, or illustrate/photograph the images I would like to accompany my material with. Let's just say I would be in the dog house for the rest of my days.

So I beg the Literotica community for support in my development. The editors here are fine tuned for anything that I need to pass on in review. I have several stories on the go. I try not to finish them too quickly, and when they are ... semi complete, I let them marinate for a few weeks. When I go back to them for quick read, I find a lot of mistakes and grammar errors. Sometimes I even write a section over 3 times... just to be sure the overall mood is smooth.

To be really plugged in here, I should have a cool avitar. I am a designer after all, I know my way around photography and illustration, but I can't spend a minute of time on anything visually explicit. If I do get a break from prying eyes, I can't hide the graphics material to continue my work later. And to top it all off, I can't take any photos of myself - if my life depended on it... not without an aid managing the equipment for a clean, well framed shot.

As you can see, I'm in a bit of a corner. Sure I can write page after page in my studio, but no luck with illustrations or photos. Someone to bounce ideas off of would be great too.

I once had a close friend who gladly volunteered to help me in the past, but she got married and moved away. I also knew of someone who I worked with my in my last studio, but she was a 2 hour drive away!

I wish I could find authors/editors that are local to me. Then perhaps these stories might have a chance and completion.

 

[TheEarl]

Welcome to the AH, eyes.

I sympathise, having written a good few stories whilst living with my parents befoer moving out a couple of years back. The trick is to utilise places like the Story Discussion Circle as much as you can and to have an online editor who can read your work for you. None of it needs to be face to face; you can get very good feedback on a half-finished story from friends you make in here.

Good luck.

The Earl

 

[Black Tulip]

Hi Eyes,

Just like TheEarl said, you can use the people in here to help you with your editing and you can find illustrators here as well.

Have a look at the top thread in the AH. It's about illustrators.

Oh, by the way. Welcome and do have fun.

 

[yui]

Hi eyes,

I think TheEarl and BT have given you excellent advice, so I will just say, Welcome to the AH!

Much luck,

Yui

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Not sure what you're asking for. Editing/proofreading help? Help with graphics? Hints on how to hide your work from other people using your computer? Help with an avatar?

 

[eyesclosed]

Let me be a little more clear. I have no trouble with the art side of things, or the photography, as I am a graphic designer. I have used the resources of the community editors in the past. My comment was purely commentary. I would love to illustrate elaborate drawings or set up a proper photo session depicting the events in my stories, but as it stands... I do not have the luxury of developing this sort of visual material without getting serious heat from my mate.

I can't ask her to help me with my material, as she is ultra conservative, and goes to the beach with a full body suit. Asking her to help me with some photographs or expect her to understand why I'm drawing a photo of something other then a client's product... would send me to the dog house without a bowl.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Ah, I see. That's a tough one.

What you need is a separate office with your own computer.

Either that or sell some stories or drawings. Nothing works as well in eliciting a spouse's support for porn as making some money off it.

 

[eyesclosed]

You speak the truth in such a precise way. Flip out a wad of cash, suddenly I can burn cars on the front lawn.

Aside from that plan, keeping a good selection of written material waiting for graphic support might be my best bet.

 

[TheEarl]

Agreed with Dr M. You need a separate workspace. Colonise the garage if you like.

The Earl

 

[eyesclosed]

Hmmm... Garage has 3 airplanes in it right now... but it might work.

 

[Lovepotion69]

It's a shame you don't have anyone close by to bounce ideas with and so on, but as for hiding your work from your flatmate...
Heck, I live with my parents and they'd freak if they knew I write erotica or have taken pics of myself to post here.
I can understand you'd like to be able to be open about illustrating your stories, but if you feel you can't, does that make you feel you can't do the illustrations at all? See if you can find your private work space, or just do it when she's not at home. Hide it among your stuff. If she finds it - well, tell her you've taken a live model drawing class and want to perfect your skills.

 

[Black Tulip]

If you're hiding it and she or he finds it? WTF?
Don't you people have something like privacy?
Nobody is supposed to go through your files if you're not there!
Not your parents, nor your so.

Or is that a foreign concept?

 

[cloudy]

If you're hiding it and she or he finds it? WTF?
Don't you people have something like privacy?
Nobody is supposed to go through your files if you're not there!
Not your parents, nor your so.

Or is that a foreign concept?

In my house, it is.

Husband used to go through my purse, even, nosey little fucker that he is. I put a stop to that, though. Mousetraps can catch more than mice.

 

[Black Tulip]

Ok, one more reason to stay single, I guess.

 

[eyesclosed]

It's a shame you don't have anyone close by to bounce ideas with and so on, but as for hiding your work from your flatmate...
Heck, I live with my parents and they'd freak if they knew I write erotica or have taken pics of myself to post here.
I can understand you'd like to be able to be open about illustrating your stories, but if you feel you can't, does that make you feel you can't do the illustrations at all? See if you can find your private work space, or just do it when she's not at home. Hide it among your stuff. If she finds it - well, tell her you've taken a live model drawing class and want to perfect your skills.

Thanx for the support everyone!

My illustrations are extensive to most. I can't just draw something ... it has to be accurately shaded, well detailed, and clean in presentation. I can't pass off anything incomplete.

As for getting caught... I'm no good at fibbing. I would just as soon explain to her what I was doing... and pay the penalty. Besides, I taught for 5 years at the local collage. To tell her I was taking a modelling class would be the same as Michael Schumaker taking driving lessons.

She has the authority to clean things... no matter where it is. I have a studio room to work in, but it's not big enough for me to do things with. In the past, I would visit my friend's place to have her take photos of me. I provided her with instruction on what to do, what to look for, and how to frame.

That little project was for a my so... a present from my artistic/french/voyeur side (her birthday). It was then I learned that she didn't quite appreciate the effort - or the end product. I fibbed a bit and told her that I shot everything myself with a tripod and a timer (technically achievable), but we all know how feasible that really is. So from that point I felt I couldn't show her anything like that. A real hard lesson for myself to learn that there isn't an erotic/creative bone in her body, . So I don't think she would be amused to find well developed nude illustrations. I would do some photography with an assistant elsewhere... and keep the material there. But nobody is near by.

I've been told that I look like Brian Adams, Seth Green, or Jim Carry... weather I like that list or not. I was fairly upset when she showed no real interest in what I made for her. I'ts not like I'm fat or have missing teeth, geezz I'm 33 and cycle often. So I try not to let her reaction get to me.

And so this is why I love writing for Lit. At least I can dream of living a voyeur life, even if it's only in writing.

 

[eyesclosed]

Maybe things will improve this summer when I get some time away from my desk.

 

[AppleBiter]

I don't mean to offend, here, or stick my nose in where it doesn't belong. But, I have experienced something similar (though not quite the same), only I was on the other side of the issue, i.e. I was the one whose SO was doing something I was unaware of because he thought I would freak.

Here's what happened to me and what I think (if you're interested): When I found out about it, I was much, much more upset about the fact that he had hidden it for 8 years. That was what really hurt. But, what he was involved in both shocked me and turned me on. It also opened up a whole new, delightfully nasty world for us. For so long, I had pretended to be put off by things he was secretly into, and he had pretended to be put off by them because he thought I was. Therefore, we both had secret desires we weren't sharing because we both thought the other would be outraged or disgusted or what have you. When that wall got obliterated . . . Lord have mercy!

To say that our sex life, our marriage, and our communication has improved would be the understatement of the century!! It was painful in the beginning, but God was it worth it. I wouldn't trade knowing what I know now for anything in the world. He's a pervert and a phreak and I love that about him because he's a man after my own heart.

That having been said, I think you should let your SO "find out." Just get it out there, in the open. Whatever happens will happen, but you'll at least have the freedom of expressing your wants and desires and interests and needs openly and without reservation and that has tremendous worth.

Anyway, I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds here. Just my opinion and experiences.

My 2 Centavos,

AppleBiter

 

[eyesclosed]

I see your point. However, did I mention what kind of mind an artist has? My SO is WELL aware of how my mind is tweaked when it comes to kinky or creative activities. This is what I was sure she liked when we met. But somehow, I went too far... and outright rejection was my answer. I wish I still had the photos to share with you. (I used lots of paint and oils) If she had a secret side, I doubt she would have secretly cut up the prints I made for her.

Garbage day was harder to deal with then I wished for. Even if she didn't want to keep them, she could have given them back... they were nice prints!

We still love each other, but I can't try that 'weird stuff' on her again.

 

[AppleBiter]

I see your point. However, did I mention what kind of mind an artist has? My SO is WELL aware of how my mind is tweaked when it comes to kinky or creative activities. This is what I was sure she liked when we met. But somehow, I went too far... and outright rejection was my answer. I wish I still had the photos to share with you. (I used lots of paint and oils) If she had a secret side, I doubt she would have secretly cut up the prints I made for her.

Garbage day was harder to deal with then I wished for. Even if she didn't want to keep them, she could have given them back... they were nice prints!

We still love each other, but I can't try that 'weird stuff' on her again.

I am sorry. That's unfortunate that she's not accepting of your sexual kinks. In that case, it seems you almost have no choice but to hide them. Still, I can't help but think that isn't healthy for either of you . . . maybe you could go to counseling? I don't mean to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong -- just an observation is all.

That is unfortunate, though. My goes out to you.

 

[eyesclosed]

I am sorry. That's unfortunate that she's not accepting of your sexual kinks. In that case, it seems you almost have no choice but to hide them. Still, I can't help but think that isn't healthy for either of you . . . maybe you could go to counseling? I don't mean to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong -- just an observation is all.

That is unfortunate, though. My goes out to you.

Counselling... Now, that would sound like I'm suggesting there is something wrong with her. Before you comment on that... I'm just saying that is how she will take it. I know it's not healthy for me, as I've kept it inside for a long time. For her, she grew up in the country... a sheltered life where nothing happened much. So I can't fault her in any way. I'm the one who is 'different'. I always have been. So, this is why I write stories here. It really helps.

I hate to think I'm being deceptive, but I rather keep my weird fun to myself then stir up mud. How I get myself off is my problem... and not hers.

Just so this discussion doesn't become a sad story for everyone to read (I hate to have people feel sorry for me... I'm not looking for sympathy... life is life.), I will add that I live a happy and honest life with fewer bumps then most. Don't worry about me, I suspect a decent and open person will show up to help me capture my figure on film for my creative interests. Life will be grand then.