Men in uniform

CrownJoolz

Experienced
Joined
Feb 3, 2003
Posts
76
My latest story is up. Don't worry... it's much shorter than my other two. It's my first story told in a female voice.

Semper Fi, Baby

Joolz :nana:
 
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Since I'm not a member of the fine military who sacrifice themselves on my behalf (and on the behalf of all reluctant peoples everywhere), I suppose I should not comment.
 
your story

It's a beautifully written story, bittersweet yet hot and sexy at the same time.

The female voice is true and believable, if that was a concern of yours.

I did think that perhaps for your readers who don't know the U.S. that well it could have helped a bit to mention just where this island and military camp are. But that wasn't a major drawback.

Really well done.

E-:rose:
 
Superbly written, as My only point of contention, his rank. But that's neither here nor there, most people don't know enough of the ranking system to have it matter that much. As a former military vet, and as the spouse of a recently ex-marine you have all My praises on this story and I'm not ashamed to say I gave you a five.

Well Done.
 
Re: your story

Evangeline said:
It's a beautifully written story, bittersweet yet hot and sexy at the same time.

The female voice is true and believable, if that was a concern of yours.

I did think that perhaps for your readers who don't know the U.S. that well it could have helped a bit to mention just where this island and military camp are. But that wasn't a major drawback.

Really well done.

E-:rose:

Thanks, Evangeline! (She's on another planet, she's in my dreams...)

I appreciate your comments a great deal. :)

Oh, and FYI, Topsail and Camp Lejeune are along the coast of North Carolina.

Joolz
 
Fantastic story.

I gave it five.

I think it has to do with a real plot and real story not just the sex. The characters and events are beleivable and the sex is not the be all and end all of the story/relationship. I like that.

Silver
 
Master_Vassago said:
Superbly written, as My only point of contention, his rank. But that's neither here nor there, most people don't know enough of the ranking system to have it matter that much. As a former military vet, and as the spouse of a recently ex-marine you have all My praises on this story and I'm not ashamed to say I gave you a five.

Well Done.

Master V--

Your feedback as both a veteran and a writer whose work I respect means a great deal to me. Thank you.

Joolz
 
silversword said:
Fantastic story.

I gave it five.

I think it has to do with a real plot and real story not just the sex. The characters and events are beleivable and the sex is not the be all and end all of the story/relationship. I like that.

Silver

Thank you! I'm glad to know it resonates across the pond as well. :)

Cheers!
Joolz
 
You're very welcome and thank you for the compliment as well. I would say that even if this story was put against one of My own I would have to vote yours tops. (Damn, that's hard to say lol.)
 
Master_Vassago said:
You're very welcome and thank you for the compliment as well. I would say that even if this story was put against one of My own I would have to vote yours tops. (Damn, that's hard to say lol.)

Oooh! I like to be on top! ;) (sometimes)

Joolz
 
Hello CrownJoolz,

This story of yours literally brought tears to my eyes. For me, it doesn't even come to close to anything else I have read on this site.

I could tell you I found it sexy yet tasteful, but that would make it sound too much like so much of what's already dished up at this site, and it's simply not in the same league.

I read this earlier, and I still can't get it out of my head. It's the best I have see here at Lit. and the finest I've read anywhere in a long time.

I wish you well with your future writing.

Have a great day,

Alex.(fem)
 
the_bragis said:
Hello CrownJoolz,

This story of yours literally brought tears to my eyes. For me, it doesn't even come to close to anything else I have read on this site.

I could tell you I found it sexy yet tasteful, but that would make it sound too much like so much of what's already dished up at this site, and it's simply not in the same league.

I read this earlier, and I still can't get it out of my head. It's the best I have see here at Lit. and the finest I've read anywhere in a long time.

I wish you well with your future writing.

Have a great day,

Alex.(fem)

Thanks very much. It may sound silly, but I actually made myself cry when I was writing it. You gave me some good advice regarding my first story, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this latest one. I'm glad it touched you.

Joolz
 
Re: Re: your story

CrownJoolz said:
Thanks, Evangeline! (She's on another planet, she's in my dreams...)

I appreciate your comments a great deal. :)

Oh, and FYI, Topsail and Camp Lejeune are along the coast of North Carolina.

Joolz

You're welcome, and thanks for the geography lesson. :)

Good catch on the song lyrics as well.

E-:rose:
 
Semper Fi Baby

Joolz,

I want to tell you that your story Semper Fi Baby was asolutely Outstanding! I am a Marine myself and have been for 19 years now. Your saga is one that strikes very close to home with me and mine. I too have spent many a night prior to a big deployment sleepless and silent.

Thanks for taking the time to put your story out here to share. You write wonderfully and managed to create a stunning mental image throughout the story.

OOH-RAH!!!

Keep 'em commin'

v/r

USMCORDIE
 
A wonderful story, another five here. I can't say any more, everyone else has already expressed it much better.:)
 
CrownJoolz

Well done and just the right length. I'm sure your story will hit home for many current and retired military couples. I was in the Army and might little bro was a Marine. Your story was easy to relate to in every way. Thanks for sharing.

Hook
 
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