Men in Trouble? "The Book of Man": William Bennett

[amicus]

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/oct/7/book-review-the-book-of-man/?page=1

Men will grow from this book and women will be glad for it. With “The Book of Man,” Mr. Bennett honors all.

• Carol Herman is the books editor of The Washington Times.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/oct/7/book-review-the-book-of-man/comments/

a couple interesting comments…

Why Does America Have So Many 'Peter Pan' Men?
By Penny Young Nance
Published October 07, 2011

Working in an office full of women, many of whom are young, single gals, I hear all the time, “Where are all the good men out there?” Even in this post-feminist age of asserting independence from men and having both a career and a family, women still want their prince and these days, he can be really tough to find.
Bill Bennett, who used to work for President George H. W. Bush and is now at the Claremont Institute, just came out with a new book called, "The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood," and it could not have been released at a better time.

Bennett writes about how the culture has so badly confused males in what their role in life should be that they just never grow up – or man up for that matter. They have fallen behind in college where women now surpass men in getting their college degrees. These women are getting jobs in the workforce while the men are lingering in dead-end jobs -- if they are working at all. While opportunity for women is a good thing, men should not take this as a cue to coast.
And don’t even get me started on the maturity level of these Peter Pan-like boys.

The statistic from Bennett’s book that perhaps struck me the most is that teenage boys, ages 12-to-17 years old, actually spend less time playing video games than 18-to-34-year-old men. I can understand the desire to play a video game here and there as a kid, but as an adult? Grow up.

These men should be studying in college, getting a job, and contributing to society through the workforce and family. How in the world do they have time to play video games for hours? The answer is that they just don’t ever grow up.

But are women contributing to the demise of the man? Feminism has been detrimental to the identity of the American male. Men have been rebuked if they pull out a chair or open a door for a woman. If they offer to pay for dinner (which they should), their date may be offended and demand to split the check because she can pay her own way. -- Ladies, it’s not such a bad thing to be treated to dinner unless that meal comes with sexual expectations, which is another column.

es, men should man up, take on the responsibilities of an adult, get a job, have a family and be a contributing member to society. The benefits to being a married man are huge. According to Men’s Health magazine, married men make more money, have more sex, get promoted faster, and are generally healthier than unmarried men.

But women also need to let men be men. Men don’t have to linger between college and well, college, forever. They can make choices to take control of their lives and be the men they are called to be if they just put down the game controls and choose a better direction. Sadly, at the moment, American women are apparently still in need of a few good men.

Penny Nance is CEO of Concerned Women for America.


Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2011/10/07/why-does-america-have-so-many-peter-pan-men/#ixzz1afGjNU6M

http://www.americasradionewsnetwork.com/arnn-bill-bennett-the-book-of-man

http://www.christianbook.com/book-m...nhood/william-bennett/9781595552716/pd/552716

Product Description

With MIA fathers, gangster machismo, and metrosexual role models, it's no wonder boys are confused about what true manhood means. Seeking to chart a clear course for youth, Bennett explores the life of men at work, play, prayer, war, and home to define what a man is, how he should live, and what he should pursue. 560 pages, hardcover w/ deckled edges, from Nelson.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/04/opinion/bennett-men-in-trouble/index.html

(CNN) --

For the first time in history, women are better educated, more ambitious and arguably more successful than men.
Now, society has rightly celebrated the ascension of one sex. We said, "You go girl," and they went. We celebrate the ascension of women but what will we do about what appears to be the very real decline of the other sex?
The data does not bode well for men. In 1970, men earned 60% of all college degrees. In 1980, the figure fell to 50%, by 2006 it was 43%. Women now surpass men in college degrees by almost three to two. Women's earnings grew 44% in real dollars from 1970 to 2007, compared with 6% growth for men.

In 1950, 5% of men at the prime working age were unemployed. As of last year, 20% were not working, the highest ever recorded. Men still maintain a majority of the highest paid and most powerful occupations, but women are catching them and will soon be passing them if this trend continues.

The warning signs for men stretch far beyond their wallets. Men are more distant from a family or their children then they have ever been. The out-of-wedlock birthrate is more than 40% in America. In 1960, only 11% of children in the U.S. lived apart from their fathers. In 2010, that share had risen to 27%. Men are also less religious than ever before. According to Gallup polling, 39% of men reported attending church regularly in 2010, compared to 47% of women.

If you don't believe the numbers, just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up. I've heard too many young women asking, "Where are the decent single men?" There is a maturity deficit among men out there, and men are falling behind.

This decline in founding virtues -- work, marriage, and religion -- has caught the eye of social commentators from all corners. In her seminal article, "The End of Men," Hanna Rosin unearthed the unprecedented role reversal that is taking place today. "Man has been the dominant sex since, well, the dawn of mankind. But for the first time in human history, that is changing—and with shocking speed," writes Rosin. The changes in modern labor -- from backs to brains -- have catapulted women to the top of the work force, leaving men in their dust.

~~~

Women, women, everywhere...see my Thread, "The Feminine Mistake". In the elapsed time since I penned that, the disparity has become more evident as women virtually control society and the market place.

What does the future hold?

Amicus

edited to add: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=249932&highlight=Feminine+Mistake+amicus Posted in 2004, it went 21 pages...enjoy! ami

 

[RightField]

So, if I play my cards right I can marry a high powered smart sexy woman, quit working and play golf all day....and that's what women and society want...sign me up.

 

[unregistered]

 

[JohnnySavage]

Ironically, we have the most lethal military in the history of man-kind. Just think how bad ass it would be without all these girly-men

Old people should stop bitching about the next generation.

 

[amicus]

Ironically, we have the most lethal military in the history of man-kind. Just think how bad ass it would be without all these girly-men

Old people should stop bitching about the next generation.

~~~

It might even be natural for parents to criticize the generations that follow them.

You might also consider somewhat of an anomaly...what with all the 'gamer boys', now flying Drones and operating remote devices that may well one day replace combat soldiers.

just a thought...

amicus

 

[Jackotheshadows]

We've been hearing this for a while now, how men are lost, given poor or non-existent role models to use, et cetera. Instead of wailing and wringing hands, maybe the social commentators in the media should just let us men get on with it. I think a lot of men know what it means to be men, and the ones that don't can figure it out pretty fast.

I believe being a man these days means being responsible. Taking your life into your own hands. Sure, there are obstacles, some small, some huge, but using those to quit trying isn't being a man, let alone a whole person. Shooting someone because they disrespected you, or beating your wife, or fucking over a colleague at work isn't being a man, it just means you have testicles and a very poor sense of who you are in the world.

Historically, men were regarded as protectors of the family, the driving force in business or government, tip of the spear as solders. Times have changed, and so have our roles, but we can still be A protector of our families, A driving force in society.

The hard-drinkin', take-no-shit tough guy image was a characture of manhood. The metrosexual was equally a poor image of manhood. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. I like scotch, and can still field-strip an M-16 in 60 seconds. I have basic carpentry skills. I also know how to cook an omelete, do household tasks and know a lot about clothing and social skills. I've taught my daughters how to throw a spiral with a football, put an attacker on the ground incapacitated, and painted their nails on request.

Men, it's time to step up, and show the world we are valuable. It'll be a better place if we do.

(Steps off soap box)

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

We've been hearing this for a while now, how men are lost, given poor or non-existent role models to use, et cetera. Instead of wailing and wringing hands, maybe the social commentators in the media should just let us men get on with it. I think a lot of men know what it means to be men, and the ones that don't can figure it out pretty fast.

I believe being a man these days means being responsible. Taking your life into your own hands. Sure, there are obstacles, some small, some huge, but using those to quit trying isn't being a man, let alone a whole person. Shooting someone because they disrespected you, or beating your wife, or fucking over a colleague at work isn't being a man, it just means you have testicles and a very poor sense of who you are in the world.

Historically, men were regarded as protectors of the family, the driving force in business or government, tip of the spear as solders. Times have changed, and so have our roles, but we can still be A protector of our families, A driving force in society.

The hard-drinkin', take-no-shit tough guy image was a characture of manhood. The metrosexual was equally a poor image of manhood. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. I like scotch, and can still field-strip an M-16 in 60 seconds. I have basic carpentry skills. I also know how to cook an omelete, do household tasks and know a lot about clothing and social skills. I've taught my daughters how to throw a spiral with a football, put an attacker on the ground incapacitated, and painted their nails on request.

Men, it's time to step up, and show the world we are valuable. It'll be a better place if we do.

(Steps off soap box)

Great post Jack. Well said.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My parents expected me to be grown and gone when I was 18, and I was grown and gone when I was 18. They expected me to be a high school graduate, and I was a high school graduate. I lived with my mom for 2 months after discharge from the military, long enough to buy a car, get an apartment, and get a job. THAT was my script.

Its how I raised my 4 kids.

But I know plenty of guys in their 30s who live with momma and daddy.

 

[amicus]

Jackotheshadows:

"...Men, it's time to step up, and show the world we are valuable. It'll be a better place if we do.

(Steps off soap box)..."

~~~

Ending your thoughts as you did, I surmise you are aware of the problem as well, and your 'soap box', is appreciated.

Somewhere in the links I Posted is stated that over a quarter of all boys/children, never have the biological father in the home. My observations indicate it is more than that, but I can't back it up.

With so many women running single parent families, the children grow up seeing a woman in charge, making all the decisions and guiding their lives. Now, I love women in general, but women making decisions are far more emotion based than the more rational male attitude.

Most school teachers for lower grades are female; most day-care centers are run by women and, by law, the work place has become feminized with on-site day care, nursing breaks and a host of amenities crafted to suit the more sensitive female.

I don't see an equally strong masculine revolution to counter the feminist revolution that has steadily gained power over a half century and more.

I do not see an avenue for men to regain control of the family situation. Government programs reward the woman in any dispute and getting rid of a husband might easily benefit the woman because of all the benefits available to a single, female parent.

It is a curious time we live in, and one a long time coming, but I fail to see just where it is going and what it has accomplished. All I see around me are very unhappy, stressed out people who seem to find little joy in married life.

amicus

 

[Jackotheshadows]

Jackotheshadows:

~~~

Ending your thoughts as you did, I surmise you are aware of the problem as well, and your 'soap box', is appreciated.

Somewhere in the links I Posted is stated that over a quarter of all boys/children, never have the biological father in the home. My observations indicate it is more than that, but I can't back it up.

With so many women running single parent families, the children grow up seeing a woman in charge, making all the decisions and guiding their lives. Now, I love women in general, but women making decisions are far more emotion based than the more rational male attitude.

Most school teachers for lower grades are female; most day-care centers are run by women and, by law, the work place has become feminized with on-site day care, nursing breaks and a host of amenities crafted to suit the more sensitive female.

I don't see an equally strong masculine revolution to counter the feminist revolution that has steadily gained power over a half century and more.

I do not see an avenue for men to regain control of the family situation. Government programs reward the woman in any dispute and getting rid of a husband might easily benefit the woman because of all the benefits available to a single, female parent.

It is a curious time we live in, and one a long time coming, but I fail to see just where it is going and what it has accomplished. All I see around me are very unhappy, stressed out people who seem to find little joy in married life.

amicus

Indeed, my father was one of the mostly absent ones. Crawled into a 12-pack of Budweiser when I was 5 and never came out. When he was around, there were beatings "until morale improved", as the teeshirt says. So, not much of a role model. But, I do read a lot, and I decided I didn't want to be like him. It's been a bitch of a road, but I think I'm getting there.

You're right, things have changed, in some ways dramatically. I think some of that is far outside our control, but I also believe that in some instances we as men have thrown our hands up and said it's too hard, society doesn't want us to be involved, it's easier to roll with the tide.

Bullshit. I'm divorced, and with my eldest living 500 miles away, it would have been easy to just check out. I made a decision to be involved. Certainly, it pissed some people off, and that's okay. I had a clear vision of what I believe a father (read man) should be, and nothing was going to dissuade me. My attorney told me flat out, the best you'll have is joint custody, and the dreaded one weeknight and alternating weekends. That's fine, I told him, because I am not going away.

The deck may be stacked against us as men, in some ways. But, hey, isn't that precisely when we should dig in, grit our teeth, and be a man? I'm not talking single-handedly taking on the system, a la Rambo, but hitting a PTA meeting solo, putting down the Xbox controller and teaching the kids what tools are good for what tasks, you know, small things.

It sucks. Badly, sometimes, especially when society laughs at our attempts to take back a meaningful position in life. But I think of it this way, being a veteran; I'm holding a defensive position and am outnumbered.

But the cavalry is on the way.

 

[Jackotheshadows]

Jackotheshadows:

~~~

Ending your thoughts as you did, I surmise you are aware of the problem as well, and your 'soap box', is appreciated.

Somewhere in the links I Posted is stated that over a quarter of all boys/children, never have the biological father in the home. My observations indicate it is more than that, but I can't back it up.

With so many women running single parent families, the children grow up seeing a woman in charge, making all the decisions and guiding their lives. Now, I love women in general, but women making decisions are far more emotion based than the more rational male attitude.

Most school teachers for lower grades are female; most day-care centers are run by women and, by law, the work place has become feminized with on-site day care, nursing breaks and a host of amenities crafted to suit the more sensitive female.

I don't see an equally strong masculine revolution to counter the feminist revolution that has steadily gained power over a half century and more.

I do not see an avenue for men to regain control of the family situation. Government programs reward the woman in any dispute and getting rid of a husband might easily benefit the woman because of all the benefits available to a single, female parent.

It is a curious time we live in, and one a long time coming, but I fail to see just where it is going and what it has accomplished. All I see around me are very unhappy, stressed out people who seem to find little joy in married life.

amicus

Indeed, my father was one of the mostly absent ones. Crawled into a 12-pack of Budweiser when I was 5 and never came out. When he was around, there were beatings "until morale improved", as the teeshirt says. So, not much of a role model. But, I do read a lot, and I decided I didn't want to be like him. It's been a bitch of a road, but I think I'm getting there.

You're right, things have changed, in some ways dramatically. I think some of that is far outside our control, but I also believe that in some instances we as men have thrown our hands up and said it's too hard, society doesn't want us to be involved, it's easier to roll with the tide.

Bullshit. I'm divorced, and with my eldest living 500 miles away, it would have been easy to just check out. I made a decision to be involved. Certainly, it pissed some people off, and that's okay. I had a clear vision of what I believe a father (read man) should be, and nothing was going to dissuade me. My attorney told me flat out, the best you'll have is joint custody, and the dreaded one weeknight and alternating weekends. That's fine, I told him, because I am not going away.

The deck may be stacked against us as men, in some ways. But, hey, isn't that precisely when we should dig in, grit our teeth, and be a man? I'm not talking single-handedly taking on the system, a la Rambo, but hitting a PTA meeting solo, putting down the Xbox controller and teaching the kids what tools are good for what tasks, you know, small things.

It sucks. Badly, sometimes, especially when society laughs at our attempts to take back a meaningful position in life. But I think of it this way, being a veteran; I'm holding a defensive position and am outnumbered.

But the cavalry is on the way.

 

[amicus]

Thank you for being up front about things...I understand, went through that too, a five hundred mile round trip every other weekend for seven years. I got custody of two after three years, cost me upwards of a hundred grand. Then it was a 2300 mile move and it took another two years but I got custody of two more. They are all grown now, with families of their own, and are just now beginning to realize what I went through to be a father to them.

I see no Cavalry on the Horizon, my friend; I see very little change happening and if any change is to come about, I think it will be a drastic, even cataclysmic change in society with a great deal of violence.

I never knew my biological father, but a brutal step-father out of WW2 forced me out on the road at age 12 and I never looked back. We do what we have to do, I suppose and a distant 'pat on the back' for your honorable choices probably won't mean much, but it is offered anyway.

Regards

Amicus

 

[Jackotheshadows]

Thank you for being up front about things...I understand, went through that too, a five hundred mile round trip every other weekend for seven years. I got custody of two after three years, cost me upwards of a hundred grand. Then it was a 2300 mile move and it took another two years but I got custody of two more. They are all grown now, with families of their own, and are just now beginning to realize what I went through to be a father to them.

I see no Cavalry on the Horizon, my friend; I see very little change happening and if any change is to come about, I think it will be a drastic, even cataclysmic change in society with a great deal of violence.

I never knew my biological father, but a brutal step-father out of WW2 forced me out on the road at age 12 and I never looked back. We do what we have to do, I suppose and a distant 'pat on the back' for your honorable choices probably won't mean much, but it is offered anyway.

Regards

Amicus

As an aside, the first time I watched "Bye, Bye, Love", I about died. Someone finally got the divorced dad thing right....

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

I can explain the peter pan man thing right now, we don't have to provide anymore! Fuck you Penny Nance, women want equal rights? AWSOME here is half the bills handle your shit (because she can handle her shit the same as a man right?). So now she is indeed a partner in the household, not some 50's house maid that I fuck and buy shit for, btw her week to mow the grass.

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

But I think of it this way, being a veteran; I'm holding a defensive position and am outnumbered.

But the cavalry is on the way.

Negatron, dump all ordinance on my last known postion!!! Danger close men, embrace the suck and get small b/c the shit storm is just starting.

 

[amicus]

I can explain the peter pan man thing right now, we don't have to provide anymore! Fuck you Penny Nance, women want equal rights? AWSOME here is half the bills handle your shit (because she can handle her shit the same as a man right?). So now she is indeed a partner in the household, not some 50's house maid that I fuck and buy shit for, btw her week to mow the grass.

~~~

Not a bad conclusion, Frizzie, they wanted independence, they got it.

However..."...the child is father to the man...." I suggest that the nature of the genders requires a leader and a follower; I further suggest the essential human values arise from responsibility, committment and loyalty or fidelity and that these virtues are best realized in a family situation.

I don't begrudge women the equality they have so long sought, but there can be too much of a good thing.

I just don't see a lot of happiness or contentedness in society and I see the anger and frustration illustrated in our music, literature and films.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthre...Mistake+amicus Posted in 2004, it went 21 pages...enjoy! ami

Amicus

 

[CandiCame]

Wait, so its society's fault that im an underemployed, gamer fag?

Thats harsh, ladies.

Havent seen you in a while, Ami, how you been?

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Wait, so its society's fault that im an underemployed, gamer fag?

Thats harsh, ladies.

No thats your fault. It is societies fault that men in general no longer "take care" of women like they did 40+ years ago and the women are pissed about it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

If ya wanna be a good dad ya gotta understand a couple of things:

Childhood is 18 years of indoctrination. Most of its good but plenty of it isnt. And thats cuz parents make babies too soon in the relationship. Parents need to grow up and mature so that their lessons to the kids are useful.

Generally speaking mama makes the rules and daddy models how to execute the rules. So whatever mama puts up with is how junior turns out.

 

[bronzeage]

Whinefest.

Real men don't give a fuck about this shit.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

Real men leave the house every morning before the kids are up, work a long day and come home after the kids are in bed. They would never be caught singing or playing in the park or talking in goofy voices just to make their kids laugh. They are emotionally unexpressive, especially to children and those closest to them. They make sure their women know their place, and that their kids grow up knowing who the boss of a house is (the MAN, that's who).

I feel bad for my kids. They do not have a real man for a father. I will try to do better in the next life.

 

[KRCummings]

Men are kinda gross and stinky.

 

[CandiCame]

Indeed, my father was one of the mostly absent ones. Crawled into a 12-pack of Budweiser when I was 5 and never came out. When he was around, there were beatings "until morale improved", as the teeshirt says. So, not much of a role model. But, I do read a lot, and I decided I didn't want to be like him. It's been a bitch of a road, but I think I'm getting there.

You're right, things have changed, in some ways dramatically. I think some of that is far outside our control, but I also believe that in some instances we as men have thrown our hands up and said it's too hard, society doesn't want us to be involved, it's easier to roll with the tide.

Bullshit. I'm divorced, and with my eldest living 500 miles away, it would have been easy to just check out. I made a decision to be involved. Certainly, it pissed some people off, and that's okay. I had a clear vision of what I believe a father (read man) should be, and nothing was going to dissuade me. My attorney told me flat out, the best you'll have is joint custody, and the dreaded one weeknight and alternating weekends. That's fine, I told him, because I am not going away.

The deck may be stacked against us as men, in some ways. But, hey, isn't that precisely when we should dig in, grit our teeth, and be a man? I'm not talking single-handedly taking on the system, a la Rambo, but hitting a PTA meeting solo, putting down the Xbox controller and teaching the kids what tools are good for what tasks, you know, small things.

It sucks. Badly, sometimes, especially when society laughs at our attempts to take back a meaningful position in life. But I think of it this way, being a veteran; I'm holding a defensive position and am outnumbered.

But the cavalry is on the way.

Dude, that's harsh- but koodos. I don't know where you live, but here the laws are so stacked against fathers it's ridiculous.

This is probably the most fucked-up inequality out of all of them. It pisses me right off and is the main reason that I'm scared to have kids. I've had way to many friends in your same position- and that scares the shit out of me, because some of their exes have been crazy- and the most you can do is try to remain calm while you watch a crazy person raise your kids.

There's actually a group here in Ky called, "Fathers for the Commonwealth" who are dedicated to changing a lot of the sexist standards in child-related issues.

I'm all for equality- I don't like the special treatment, but I can see why women like it. The same way that if I were rich, I would be a republican. I don't expect someone to cook and clean for me or any of that shit, but I also want access to my fucking kids, I want paternity leave, ect. To progress, everyone moves forward.

I can explain the peter pan man thing right now, we don't have to provide anymore! Fuck you Penny Nance, women want equal rights? AWSOME here is half the bills handle your shit (because she can handle her shit the same as a man right?). So now she is indeed a partner in the household, not some 50's house maid that I fuck and buy shit for, btw her week to mow the grass.

Yeah, culturally I'm also having trouble seeing the problem.

Gender rolls got you down? Be in a gay relationship- and before you start, I'm not saying that to "question anyone's sexuality"- just from my experience- be in a relationship from a guy, and then you have to figure that shit out. It shows you just how bad our culture has totally tried to fuck us on gender rolls- you have to start treating the other person as "human" rather then "girl you like" and you start to realize a lot of fucked-up shit that you never even thought about before.

I've always thought of relationships as falling along the lines of people doing whatever it is that they're good at- and it's worked out pretty well for me actually. Split the bills down the middle, talk shit out and quit your bitching.

Maybe that's something our generation picked up on. The ability to quit bitching when we saw a good thing.

Plus, we were trained that tights are badass.

http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs27/f/2008/064/2/6/In_the_Eyes_of_Ganon_by_ALXNDR_Art.jpg

 

[zipman]

There's nothing more pathetic than old white guys who feel threatened and whine like pussies.

Women haven't even cracked equality and you're bitching that your place in society is jeopardized? Simply pathetic.

 

[Wok]

There's nothing more pathetic than old white guys who feel threatened and whine like pussies.

Women haven't even cracked equality and you're bitching that your place in society is jeopardized? Simply pathetic.

Yet the same person yammers on about freedom.