Memories on the Ozarks (Close)

[TabascoKV]

A light rain trickled down on the town of West Plains, Missouri. The sun had barely peeked above the Ozark Mountains when a light shower rolled into town. It was the end of the shower season with April almost completed, and farmers were the only souls crawling out of bed at so early an hour on a Sunday. Even the faithful church goers had a couple of hours before they stirred and began their day.

Rebecca Elizabeth Landers’ headlights were the only ones crawling up the mountain roads. Her stomach was in knots as every mile passed behind her, and she found herself gripping the steering wheel tighter. It had been fourteen years since she had found herself at her uncle’s farm in the Missouri mountainside, and there was a growing tightness of guilt that had settled in her core.

Joseph Landers was her favorite uncle, and always had been. Memories flooded her mind of summers spent at the farm, and she wished that she could have made it up here more. Her parents were out of the country on business, as usual, and Beth had to bear the burden of her uncle’s death alone. It had been almost a year since she had spoken to Uncle Joe, and the shame had been overpowering that she had neglected their relationship.

There were emanating circumstances behind her lack of communication, but it didn’t matter now. Rupert Langford, Uncle Joe’s lawyer and old friend, had called her to let her know of Joe’s heart attack. How he had even found her was beyond Beth’s understanding, but she was thankful he had.

Tucking a short strand of brown hair behind her ear, she turned down the old dirt road that led the way. The old wooden entrance to the Landers Ranch appeared in front of her a few miles down the road, the sixteen hundred acre farm still sleeping in the dim light. The gate was open, and she steered her truck down the worn in trail. Rupert waited for her on the porch, the older man dressed in jeans and a polo shirt.

Inhaling sharply, she sat in the warm vehicle before turning off the ignition. The rain had turned into a mountain mist, and the microscopic droplets seemed to welcome her home. The door startled the silence as she closed it, and she climbed the wooden steps. The chilled air made her thanful for her jeans and long sleeve blue shirt.

“Rebecca Elizabeth. The last time I saw you, you came up to here.” A worn hand came up to indicate how short she used to be, and Rupert smiled sadly. Time felt like a demon that had caught up to him. Reaching out, he enveloped her in a familial hug. Rupert had always been a grandfather figure to her as a child, and even now, he lived up that reputation.

“It’s good to see you.” It took every ounce of strength to keep her hazel eyes tear free, but she had learned over the last six years that crying solved absolutely nothing, and oftentimes made things worse.

“Let’s go inside.” He pulled back, and gave her a gentle squeeze. Nodding, she followed him silently into the white, country home. Inhaling deeply, the smells of farming and her uncle’s pipe met her nose, bringing a sense of nostalgia.

Walking into the living room, a small smile spread across her face. The living room had not been rearranged since her aunt died fifteen years ago. The only changes were the new pictures of family on the book shelf and the walls. Her heart stilled for a moment as she saw pictures of her and her uncle when she was a child. One picture caught her attention moreso than any others. It was the last summer her parents had sent her to the farm, and her uncle was standing next to her as she sat atop a young mare. Bella. Bella had been born the summer before, and Beth could remember watching her uncle help Bella’s mother give birth. Uncle Joe had given her the job of naming the new baby. She had spent a week in France with her parents weeks before, and had learned that ‘bella’ meant ‘beautiful.’

“You were like a daughter to him.” Rupert appeared behind her, handing her a warm mug of tea. “When he and your daddy had it out that summer, I could hear his heart breakin’ cause you weren’t allowed back.”

Beth remembered that fight all too well. It had been her fault.

Her high school senior picture was framed on the wall, as well as her college graduation picture that she had sent him.

“He was always more of a dad to me than mine.” Her voice carried a soft Southern lilt to it, influenced by her growing up in Georgia.

“Rebecca, he left everything to you.” Rupert laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

For a minute, Beth wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly. Her parents were the only other people who called her by her first name, which was why she had decided as a child that she preferred her middle name. Turning to look at him, her face was full of questions that she could not verbalize.

“It’s all yours. His only stipulation is that the staff is kept on as is. It’s in his will.”

Beth felt a culmination of fear, anxiety, shock, and excitement surge through her body. Moving to the couch, she sat down quickly, afraid if she didn’t her legs would give out on her.

*

An hour later, she had started to come to grips with her uncle’s will. Rupert now sat across from her in an armchair, a smile on his face.

“I think it’s time for you to meet Daniel Collins. He was your uncle’s right hand man.” Pulling out his cell phone, he scrolled down the names until he found the one he wanted. Without further hesitation, he hit the send button and waited.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

The old man had passed on only a few days back. The other hands on the ranch had started slacking off, unsure to whether they'd still be working by the end of the week. Dan Collins, on the other hand, had immersed himself in the workload. His days were spent doing back-breaking tasks, most of them menial and below his level of expertise. To be honest, he wasn't sure what else to do. If he stopped, he'd be forced to accept what had happened. That was something he could not allow to happen.

Even still, when deep in the midst of some labor or another, he'd find his mind wandering to times past. When he had turned sixteen, he had run into a spot of trouble. Something about a car and a girl disappearing overnight. Neither the owner of the car nor the girl's daddy were too thrilled. He was about to do some serious time in juvie for grand theft when the old man had stepped in. Joe Landers had been in the courthouse that day on an entirely different matter and had only stepped into the courtroom to rest a bit. Dan remembered seeing the old man sitting in the back of the room, his eyes red-rimmed. Just as the judge had found him guilty and was about to pass sentencing, Joe had stood up and with a firm voice that was a soft and smooth as velvet said, “Judge, if you please, can I have just a moment of your time before you finish that sentence.” The old man had disappeared into a back room with the judge and when they came back out, they were smiling and clapping each other on the back as if they were old friends.

Dan smiled at the memory as he worked the post hole digger mechanically, his shirt hanging across the last post he had put up in the fence line. The days were still cool, but even still, sweat had broken out across his broad shoulders and muscled back. He wore an old pair of blue jeans and his shit kickin boots. On his hands were his favorite broken-in soft leather gloves and his black cowboy hat sat upon his head, shading his eyes from the morning sun. Around his neck was a medallion that hung on a thin strip of leather tied tight to his throat.

The summer when he had turned sixteen was the summer that changed his life. Instead of going to juvenile hall, Joe Landers had taken him back to his ranch. Joe's wife had recently died and Joe was going to have to work more around the house than before, so he needed more hands on the farm. The judge had sentenced Daniel Collins to a summer of hard work with Joe as his guardian. At first, Dan was a cocky shit. Dan smiled again to himself and sank another post into the hole. He had refused to work. THAT lasted all of a day or two. When Dan found himself being fed scraps with the dogs - AND sleeping with them as well...

Dan chuckled. What a dumbass, he thought. Sweat dripped into his eyes and he absently pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and swiped his brow. His boots worked at kicking the dirt back in the hole, and then packing it down tight. Dan then walked back and grabbed the wire and strung it down to the newly planted post. When all three lines were secured he moved down to the next and began digging furiously.

His mind began to wander again, back to that summer. So many changes had happened that year. Dan almost choked up as he thought He changed my entire life... Goddammit! Why? His arms, knotted with muscles, swung the post hole digger around and let it loose and watched it fly across the field. Almost immediately he heard Joe's voice so calm and soothing, as if it were speaking to that mare Bella when she was irritated... “Shh... Now, now. Calm her down, bring it back. That won't do you no good, Danny.”

He shook his head and sat back on his haunches, his hands grabbing his hat from his head in frustration when his cell chirped. Out of habit, he swooped it off his belt and held the button down. “Yeah? Go ahead.”
Dan was a bit shocked when he heard the familiar voice of Rupert Langford come back with a bit of static. “Daniel? Are you somewhat close to the main house? I need to go over some legal business with you, if you don't mind.” Dan cringed when he said 'Daniel' but he knew that Rupert didn't mean any harm.

“Sure thing, Mr. Langford. I'm a few miles back, do I have time to pick up my supplies before I head in?” Truth was, this was just a courtesy as he was most likely going to do it anyway, just as the old man had taught him long ago. A rusted tool is a broken tool, and broken tools ain't no good to nobody.

“Umm... So long as it doesn't take too long, Daniel.”

“Yes, sir. I'm on my way.”

Dan could tell that Rupert, normally incredibly laid back for a lawyer, didn't really want him to take too long. He shrugged and jogged over to where he had thrown the post hole digger and snatched it up. He gathered the rest of his tools and attached them to the back of the quad he had driven out.

Now that he had stopped working, the chill that was in the morning air was starting to get to him. His shirt went back on, although he only buttoned it up three quarters of the way. Dan slipped his glasses on to keep the dirt and bugs out of his eyes and headed back toward the main house, wondering what Rupert was all in a rush about.

*

He rode at a leisurely pace so that the chill morning air didn't blast at him at the high speeds the quad was capable of. After a few minutes, the barn came into view and he pulled the quad in through the big doors at the back. He straightened his hat and rolled up the sleeves on his blue and white striped shirt as he walked up to the back door of the main house. The last time he had entered the main house was for sausage and eggs, coffee black with the old man a few days ago. Dan sighed at the familiar creek as the screen door was opened.

Dan kicked his boots off and walked through the kitchen wondering where he'd find Rupert. He heard voices coming from the den so Dan headed there. Knocking lightly on the door to the old man's study was one of the first lessons he had learned when he came here. It's a sign of respect, Danny. He remembered that he would no longer hear the old man tell him to enter, so he immediately walked in.

Rupert stood before him next to a raven haired beauty that Dan recognized from dozens of pictures found on the walls of the main house. “And this... Is Daniel Collins.” Rupert said to the young lady. “Daniel, this is Rebecca Landers, Joseph's niece. He left the ranch to her in the will.” Dan removed his glove and took Rebecca's hand when she held it out.

“Dan, please, or the hands call me Collins. Nice to meet you, ma'am.” Dan said and nodded. His face held no smile for her. Inside, he was conflicted. Turmoil roiled beneath his hard exterior. Of course, Dan wanted to see the old man's final wishes come to pass, but hadn't Dan been treated as if he was the old man's flesh and blood for the past fifteen years?

Dan slowly became aware that Rupert had begun to speak again. “Now Daniel, I want you to know, Joseph was adamant. He trusted you more than anyone else. He had told me many times that if anyone could run this ranch as well as he had, it was you. So you are to remain as the ranch's manager, in charge of all the hands. You have the ability to hire and fire as you see fit. 'Course, you'll run the farm as you have all along – according to the way Joseph taught you.” Dan nodded and Rupert continued, “all right... I guess I'll leave you two to get acquainted.”

 

[TabascoKV]

The name sounded familiar to her from conversations with her uncle, but she could not recall much information about Daniel Collins at the moment. After Rupert got off the phone, the two of them sat supping tea and talking about her uncle and about her life after college.

“Where have you been working since you graduated?”

“I’ve been moving around a lot, so I’ve been doing whatever job I could get. Mostly secretarial work, administrative assistants, things like that.” Beth didn’t much care for the topic of her, so she quickly started asking him questions about the farm.

The creaking of the front door announced Daniel’s arrival before his light knocking did. Beth found her stomach to be a bundle of nerves. Your uncle’s right hand man… She expected an older man to walk through the door, and was taken aback when Daniel Collins was what she got. Biting her bottom lip in an effort to keep her mouth from falling open, she mustered a bit of courage to give him a firm handshake.

“I go by Beth. Very few people call me Rebecca.” It was difficult to socialize at the moment, but Beth was doing her best to be pleasant. Being back on the farm was bringing old emotions to the surface, and she really just wanted to walk around with the memory of her childhood.

She listened quietly as Rupert spoke to Dan, the fondness in his voice earning a respect towards Dan. Uncle Joe had taught her so much during those summers, but so much of it had been lost over the years. Beth had no doubt that she would rely heavily on Dan. Whether or not to take on the responsibility of the farm was not a cause for debate in her mind. She had nothing to leave behind.

Her hazel eyes widened in surprise as Rupert stood up to leave. Bending down, he gave her a kiss on the top of her head like he used to when she was a child.

“If either of you need anything, give me a call. I’ll call you guys when I get details about the funeral.” With a nod towards Daniel, he made a quick exit.

Exhaling, she reached up and absentmindedly rubbed her left temple. Her head was beginning to pound. She was at a loss for words.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan wasn't sure what to say. During his time here, he had learned that it was 'better to have them think you a moron rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt'. He nodded back to Rupert as he watched him leave, then turned back to Rebecca. “Ma'am, this room holds too much in the way of memory for me. Do you mind if we move this into the kitchen?” Truth was, the kitchen held as much in the way of memory as well, as did most everywhere else on the ranch, but the sheer amount of time he had spent in that den as a boy... That was where the tears had fallen. That was where the lectures were. That den was where the love was shown, before anywhere else.

He turned and shuffled into the kitchen in his stocking feet and heard her making her way after him. Dan pulled a mustard colored chair for her before the dark green formica-topped kitchen table; mix-matched throwbacks from the seventies. He stood before the sink and ran the water for a moment until it was chilled, then filled a glass of water, grabbing a bottle of aspirin, he took them both back to her where she sat. “The way you rubbed your head like that, ma'am, looked like you might need these.”

Dan then opened up the canister, scooped out some coffee and started the pot. He knew that there was no way he'd stay awake if he wasn't steady working, and he just wasn't sure if she was going to let him get anything more done. With his luck, she'd want to reminisce or some shit for the rest of the mornin' and the most of the afternoon.

He wasn't sure what had made the old man give up the ranch to some ungrateful little brat that hadn't even had the decency to call him in the past year. Dan shook his head at the thought and managed to bite down on his tongue to keep it from taking on a mind of its own.

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth had forgotten that she was not alone in her uncle’s sacred room, and jumped slightly when he spoke. She stared at him for a brief moment before nodding her head slowly. Truthfully, she was astounded that her uncle had left everything to her, and wasn’t sure she understood why. Her chest rose and fell with a deep sigh before she stood up and followed him into the kitchen.

Her heart froze briefly in her chest as she walked into the kitchen. Reminiscent feelings of fashion disgust clouded her memory. She used to tease her aunt and uncle about the color combinations, but now she wouldn’t change a thing. Settling down at the table, her eyes drifted out the kitchen window. The sight was breathtaking, and a sense of excitement thrilled her soul as she stared at the stables. She would have to go see Bella.

Turning back, she looked at the water and aspirin that now sat before her.

“Thank you.” Her voice came out small as she reached out for the bottle. Quickly taking two pills, she sipped the water down. Hazel eyes drifted around the kitchen, and came to a halt on the refrigerator. Pictures of family members had been placed up on the white door with mismatched magnets. Standing up, she walked over and gently lifted a picture that caught her eye. It was a picture taken at her graduation ceremony, taken from the auditorium.

“He was there.” Speaking more to herself than to Dan, she felt a part of her life drain from her body with each passing moment. Replacing the picture, her eyes traveled around, and was surprised to see a picture she had drawn him when she was about seven or eight.

“He never threw anything out.” Turning around, she walked back towards the table.

“How did you end up here?”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“No problem,” Dan murmured to her quiet thanks and poured himself a cup of coffee. It was rich and strong, the same way the old man would have made it. “It's thick enough to choke a mule, but you are welcome to some, if ya like.”

He sipped at the steaming cup, the bitter fluid warming his throat as he watched her meander around the kitchen. When she stopped at the graduation picture, fury filled him and he snarled into his cup. “'Course he was there. It was all he talked about for months prior to going.” Dan was able to tone down the harshness that he felt and keep it from seeping through too much when he spoke to her. “The old ma – ermn, Joe,” he quickly corrected, “was so excited. And when he came back, he went on and on about how proud he was.” For the life of him, Dan couldn't figure out why she didn't know all this. Obviously, the old man hadn't spent the time with her that he portrayed.

Dan was grateful that he hadn't removed his dark glasses yet. He was an incredibly private man, in fact, Joe was the only person to see into the depths of him. There was something about Joe that had made him able to break down the walls that Dan had built up as a child. It was funny how a simple question could bring forth a flood of emotion. Instead of answering her, he took another swig of his coffee, sufficiently burning his tongue in the process. With great effort, he tried to keep his pain from showing.

Dan slipped his boots back on as he changed the subject, “I'm sorry to tell you, but the mare you foaled back in the day, Bella, she passed last time she birthed. We couldn't save 'er, though we tried our damnedest. But, I think there is someone out there you might like to meet.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth stared at him for a moment, catching a hint of bitterness in his voice, but confused as to where it came from. An incredulous look filled her eyes as he spoke, feeling awestruck. Her uncle had never approached her at the ceremony, but she assumed that had a lot to do with her father’s overbearing presence. Still, she felt a pang of hurt that he hadn’t let her know he was there.

Her heart broke again at the news of Bella, and it was almost the hair that broke her back. Gnawing on her bottom lip, it was beginning to sink in how much she had missed. An inner battle of regrets was beginning to surface, but her rationale comforted her that there were circumstances beyond her control that had prevented any visits. His offer to introduce her to what she assumed to be Bella’s offspring fell flat.

“Um…if you don’t mind, I think I need some time to take all this in.” There was a dull ache accompanied with a numbness that was beginning to eat at her, and the emotions she had held at bay the last few days were beginning to force themselves to the forefront. Even though she didn’t really know Dan, there was something about his earlier tone that told her that he was not the kind of person she wanted to break down in front of.

“I’m sure there’s stuff that has to be done. I don’t want to be a disruption.”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan almost felt regret as he saw the look on her face when she heard of Bella's passing. Serves her right though, he thought, she's been grown for some time now. She could have been here had she wanted to. The old man loved her dearly and that was all that Dan really cared about.

He walked over to the sink and reached up to the window ledge and grabbed the Nextel phone perched in the cradle. Dan slipped it onto the table in front of her. “Yes, ma'am. Now, this here's the house phone. 'Course you can do as you like, bein' the new owner an' all; but generally, this phone stays at the main house. I have a slew of 'em out in my office and will set you up right. In the meantime, hit me up on that there if you need me.” With that, Dan tipped his hat and let the old screen door slam behind him as he left.

Dan's office was in the main barn just a hundred yards from the house, he sometimes bunked out there when he had to work late rather than go all the way out to the little cabin he and Joe built a few miles into the ranch's massive amounts of land. He stopped in there first and assigned one of the extra phones to Miss Rebecca and then stopped at the quad to put away the tools and unhitch the mini-trailer. His composure crumbled as he thought of how the old man had missed his favorite niece and the heartbreak she must have caused him. Dan's teeth gritted and his jaw clenched as he finally lost all control and his fist flew into one of the wood posts. His skin gave way long before the wood did and blood splattered as it split. He cocked his head to the side, listening to it pop, and hopped onto the quad and sped off into the woods off to the north side of the barn.

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth barely heard him as he gave instructions about the phone, but she nodded. There was something about the phrasing of his words that rubbed her the wrong way. What it was, she could not pinpoint. Instead, she just let it roll off. She jumped as the door slammed closed, bringing her out of her inner reverie.

Looking around, she felt lost. Walking out of the kitchen, she meandered around the house. It was all strangely foreign and familiar to her at the same time. She found her way into her uncle's bedroom. Hesitating at the door, she was almost tempted to knock on the door. Catching herself, she pushed the door open and forced herself to go in.

The smell of his aftershave lingered on the sheets and sent an overpowering sensation of home into her pores. A picture of her with her aunt and uncle the year before she died was in a frame on her uncle's nightstand. Picking it up, she flopped down in a fashion that would have evoked a 'look' from Joe. Curling up on the bed, she stared down at the smiling, happy faces.

"What now, Uncle Joe?" Speaking out loud, she felt the tears finally break free. Clutching the picture to her chest, she buried her face in the pillow and cried for the first time in years. She didn't know how much time passed as she lay there, but the exhaustion from driving all night finally caught up to her, and she drifted into a troubled sleep.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

He drove aimlessly down the well-formed tracks for about an hour before he found himself in one of his sacred places. A small babbling brook split this section of land. Small trees lined one side with sparse brush and on the other was a hundred acres of alfalfa. Dan flipped the key in the ignition and wished for a moment that he was riding Ares, a brilliant stallion and Kallisti's sire.

Climbing down from the four-wheeler, Dan's mind went straight to his early years at the ranch. He remembered the first time he mustered up the courage to ask Joe about the good looking girl in the pictures. The old man's eyes lit up and he had literally began to beam as he told Dan about his niece. Over the years as Dan grew into a young man, he had often thought about her. How could he not? Her picture was everywhere in the main house, and she was gorgeous. As Dan became an adult he had realized that he would most likely never get the opportunity to meet her and, in retrospect, what he had experienced was nothing more than a minor crush. Of course, all he had really had to go on was Joe's love for her and his biased opinions of his niece. She had been built up into something grand in Dan's eyes, for she was that and far more in Joe's.

Dan was squatting near the edge of the brook tossing smooth stones into the water when his stomach began to grumble. He really didn't want to head back to the main house but he knew he had nothing in his cabin. Shit, he thought as he climbed back on top of the quad. The engine rumbled to life beneath him and he turned it back toward the ranch house. Maybe I can find something in the office fridge. But Dan wasn't hopeful.

*

He rumaged through the fridge in the barn but found nothing but a hunk of ham that was beginning to turn green. Dan grimaced as he tossed it into the garbage and wondered what other options he had. He came up short, there simply weren't any other options available except going back to the house. It was almost 1:30, he crossed his fingers in hopes that Miss Rebecca had taken her own tour of the ranch. Just in case, he snatched up the phone he had prepared for her earlier and headed toward the kitchen door.

With a screech, the door opened and he kicked off his boots. “Miss?” He called out, to announce his presence, “it's just me, Dan. Thought I might get some lunch, if that's all right...” Dan set the phone on the counter and opened up the fridge. He slipped some roast turkey out and began slicing it for sandwiches. Lettuce, tomato and mayo hit the counter and he pulled the bread from the box next to the stove.

 

[TabascoKV]

Big, worried hazel eyes stared up at the two men towering over her short stature. Beth had always been a short child, but standing between her father and uncle made her feel even tinier. Especially when the two men were fighting, and she was the cause of that fight.

"She wants to stay here on the farm, Paul." Her uncle's nose flared angrily just like one of his stallions.

"I don't care, Joseph. My daughter is not spending her days wasting away on a piece of land." Her daddy's voice was tense and strained as he motioned out to the fields.

"What does it matter to you? Y'all are just gonna drop her off at the house and leave her with some nanny while the two of you go off. SHe should be with her family." There was an unrelenting stubborness in Uncle Joe's eye as he cast a quick glance down to her.

"Rebecca will not be raised to live like a hillbilly. She's not you're daughter Joseph Landers." With that, a firm, clean cut hand clapped down on Beth's shoulder with such a force she nearly fell. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. Joe stood there in silence, the tips of his ears reddening with anger, but his face beginning to show defeat. "She's coming home with me, and that's all there is to it. Don't think she's coming back, either."

Those words were a slap in her face, and as she felt the tug of her father's hand pulling her towards the black Lexus. Without hesitation, she began screaming and trying to run back to her uncle.

The slamming of the screen door woke her with a jarring effect, and her body jerked awake. THere were tears in her eyes as the fresh memory of the pain in her uncle's gentle hazel eyes was fresh in her mind. A stark fear replaced the sorrow when she heard movement from another part of the house, unsure who had welcomed themself inside. Exhaling shakily when Dan's voice called out, she reached up pushed her strewn hair back. She took a few moments to gather herself together before standing and walking into the kitchen.

Her red eyes felt swollen, but she lacked the capacity to care at the moment. Sitting down at the dining room table, she rested her cheek in her hand as she watched him move around the kitchen.

"What time is it?"

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan heard her shuffling her feet as she came into the kitchen, she sniffled a bit and he assumed that she had been crying. When he turned to answer her he saw her red eyes and his assumptions were verified. "It's about quarter to two," he said, "look... if you are anything like me, you prolly ain't been eatin much. I made you a sandwich."

The bread was toasted to a beautiful brown, with the cheese put on immediately so it was partially melted before the lettuce, tomato and cheese was put on. Some leftover bacon from breakfast was tossed in the mix and some mayonaisse with a touch of curry brought it all together.

He carried both plates and a jar of pickles over to the table and slid a chair out with his foot. Dan took his seat and opened the jar. He had a hard time looking Beth in the eye, mainly because he felt that, if he were still alive, the old man would not be proud of the way Dan had acted earlier. Instead, he eyeballed his sandwich as he spoke. "I owe you an apology. I was a jerk earlier. I lost my temper. So, I'm sorry." He paused for a moment before he continued, "I haven't been myself for a few days now..."

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth had no appetite at the moment, but didn't have the heart to tell him so. She had a hard time telling people no. Reaching out, she finished sliding the plate to in front of her. His comment wasn't far off from the truth. She had left Utah the previous morning and had only eaten a bag of chips the entire drive.

"Thank you." Her voice was a little hoarse as she offered a small, tired smile. Biting into the sandwich, her stomach grumbled softly. She was hungrier than she had anticipated. His apology caught her off guard, evindenced by the surprised look on her face.

"If that was you losing your temper, I think I can deal with that." Even though his words had been less than friendly, it was far from what she would constitute somebody losing their temper.

"How long have you known him?"

 

[pa1ndru1d]

"Joe took me in durin the summer of..." He closed his eyes and took a bite of his sandwich to buy him some time, "'93, I guess it was. I just turned 16. So, I s'pose its been about fifteen years."

Dan began to feel uncomfortable, so he stood up and went to the fridge. "Somethin to drink?" He grabbed the pitcher of sweet tea and poured a glass for himself and took a glass down for her as well.

 

[TabascoKV]

Her hunger kicked in, and she began to eat a bit faster, feeling suddenly half starved. She couldn't even remember what she had been doing that summer, or where she was at, for that matter. Nodding at his question, she swallowed thickly, thankful once he brought the tea over to her.

"What brought you here?" She knew she was prying, and there was a foreboding feeling inside of her that she had to purposefully quell. All her life she had been discouraged from asking questions. She had to get to know Dan, though, since he was clearly a big part of this farm.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan had known this question was coming. He dreaded airing his past in front of a stranger. Of course, she wasn’t exactly a stranger. He knew the old man loved her and that fact did way heavily in her favor. Still, she had managed to stay away from him for over a decade, so it was entirely possible that she wasn’t the person that Joe remembered her to be.

He stood up from the table and took the dishes to the sink and rinsed them off, immediately placing them in the dishwasher. “Why don’t we take a walk while we talk? There is someone out here that is dyin to meet you.” Slipping his boots back on, he held the door open for her and then led her to the barn. “I’m sorry, for now there is only one quad here,” Dan hopped onto the four-wheeler and continued, “just hold on and we’ll get to the stables soon enough.”

When Dan had first arrived, the stables where smaller and just on the other side of the barn, but Joe had wanted a larger structure built in order to house more horses. The new stables were placed about three quarters of a mile away from the main barn. There were now stalls enough for two dozen horses to have their own exercise yard and a grazing area. Deep down, Dan sought Beth’s approval for the new stables. He had lost a lot of sweat building that structure.

Dan realized that he enjoyed feeling her hands around his waist. He took the trail slowly so he could still speak to her as they rode. Dan didn’t go into detail about his own family life prior to screwing up, but he did mention the legal troubles he faced as a teen. He also told her with great fondness what her uncle had done for him. Dan was thankful that she couldn’t look him in the eye when he spoke of the old man, for she would have seen him tear up once or twice during the telling. Dan spoke of a life saved and of the old man that had taught him what being a man was really all about.

They drove around the pond that Dan had dug out; his face breaking into a wide grin as he remembered almost tipping over the back hoe. Joe had had a conniption that day… “Listen to this here. See that pond there?” Dan tipped his head toward the small body of water.

“I was what… just seventeen? Yeah, that sounds about right. We hadn’t even laid the foundation for the new stable yet. Joe had been out on that back hoe for a solid week and his hips was so tore up he couldn’t even walk. The prollem was that the ol’ man had a massive sump rented to divert the spring water so that they could get the new pond dug out. Each day he ran the sump cost him another twelve hunnerd. He just couldn’t afford it anymore. So, what was I to do? Shit. I was seventeen. I knew every-damn-thing then, now din’t I?” Dan chuckled a bit.

“‘Twasn’t nuttin to get the rig started. I had seen the ol’ man do it enough times… or so I thought. So, I started workin them levers like I was born on the damn thing. Well, next thing I know, the tractor hit some deep ass mud on the one side while still on solid ground on the other. The world tipped on me, it was crazy nuts. I thought I was gonna die beneath a few tons of solid steel.” Dan rubbed his eye. “Next thing I know, ol’ Joe was right there. I never even saw him comin. He yanked me out and I sprawled in the mud. Man, I was scramblin, I tell ya.” His eyes twinkled as he told the story, his fondness for Joe showing in every word. “Joe worked that machine like he was made of magic. The big yellow beast was suddenly righted, and backing out of the new pond. Aww, hell… I felt horrible at the time. I knew how bad he was hurtin. I thought he was gonna take a strap to me for sure. But he knew that my heart was in the right place. In fact, when Joe came down to talk to me we ended up laughin our fool heads off cuz we both ended up covered in mud."

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth was a little hesitant to go around the farm. She wasn't sure if she was ready yet. It was difficult enough being in the house her aunt and uncle had lived in since they had gotten married. The farm had been in the family for three previous generations, and Uncle Joe had willingly and passionately taken over when he was old enough. Her father, on the other hand, had gone to college and gotten as far away from Missouri as he could get. He had taken her mother away with him. Sighing softly, she nodded and stood up. Following him out the door silently, she stared almost critically at the four wheeler. She held no prejudices against the vehicle, per se, but she hadn't been on one since she'd gone out with a group of farmers' kids one year and one flipped over on two kids.

Pushing the image to the back of her mind, she crawled on the back of it, and hung on to Dan for dear life. She took in all the changes that had happened in all the years she'd been gone. There was a doleful nostalgia that crept up as she thought about how much she had missed over the years. When Dan began speaking, her attention was focused on him. Taking in a troubled teenager seemed just like something her uncle would do. Beth had no problems imagining her uncle bailing him out of a tractor mishap.

"I remember sitting in his lap on his old tractor and feeling like the most important person in the world because he let me steer it." It wasn't as grand a story as his, but to her, those days were some of the greatest memories she had. Everything had grown since she'd left, and at the same time, it all seemed so much smaller now that she was bigger. A shiver traveled down her spine as a cold whisp of wind kissed her skin.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan was overly aware of her body pressed against his and when she shivered, he had to supress one of his own. Thank God we are close to the stables... otherwise I might have to stay on the quad for a bit while she walks around... He frantically tried to get his mind onto some thought besides her.

"Yeah, Joe had a way about him, that's for sure. He was one of the kindest men I have ever met. This here's the new stables, well, they'll be new to you anyways." He pulled up in front of the huge traditionally red-painted building. It had a huge peak with two low hanging wings of to either side. Dan had recently oiled the hinges so the massive doors didn't even squeek when he swung them wide.

Flipping a switch, he led Beth inside. Whinnying and a few soft hoof stamps greeted them. He led her to the first stall, "This is Ares", the head of a massive white Lipizzaner stallion that had come to the farm about ten years back. Joe had gotten him for a steal for he was incredibly weak and in sad shape. The old man had tasked Dan to nurse him back to health. It hadn't taken long. Ares and Bella had taken an instant liking to each other.

"And right next to him is Killisti..." Dan showed her the next stall in line. "She is Bella's and Ares' foal, about three years old now."

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth felt like she was walking in an unfamiliar time capsule. A sense of pride established a spot in her heart for how much her uncle had been able to accomplish. She stepped quietly behind him, the scents of hay and horse created a welcoming beckon home. Reaching out, she ran her hand gently down Ares’ nose, the first genuine smile in awhile spreading on her lips. Mixed feelings coursed through her body at the sight of Bella’s offspring. The horse was a beautiful golden color, a definate cross between her white father and brown mother. There was a feeling of excitement, but a bit of bitterness that her horse had died while giving birth to Killisti.

“They made a beautiful baby.” Her eyes shifted from the mare to the other filled stalls. A small squeal emitted from her lips and she moved more animatedly towards another stall.

“Samson!” An older Arabian as black as night stood, lightly tossing his head. He had to have been about twenty years old. Her uncle had rescued him when he was six years old, and he was brought in with his ribs showing and his hip bones jutting out. Beth had been horrified. Samson had become her uncle’s favorite horse.
“Look at you.” Her hands cupped the horse’s neck as her fingers ran along his velvety fur.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan followed behind her as she moved to Samson's stall. A pang of jealousy hit Dan as he watched her rubbing his neck. "Over the past few years, your uncle had increasing troubles with riding, so he rode less and less. He loved Samson so much, he couldn't stand to know that he was just sitting out here. I think that was why he gave Samson to me. He had said something about Samson needin' to be cared for in the way that one only cares for his own horse. 'Course, I care for all the horses as if they was my own, just like he taught me."

Suddenly, Dan's tongue took on a mind of its own. "Your uncle loved you a lot, you know. How is it that you stopped coming to visit him?" He caught himself before he added that every year the old man would get into a funk just as summer hit. Dan had caught him more than once sitting in his study with a picture of Beth in his hands and tears running down his cheeks.

 

[TabascoKV]

A pang of jealousy crept through at the tidbit that Samson had been given away. She was trying desperately to latch onto something familiar that now belonged to her. Yes, she owned the farm, but it was a stranger to her. His question caused her blood to run cold, but she should have expected it. Her hands came to rest on the metal railing keeping Samson in his stall.

“He and my father had a verbally aggressive fight because I wanted to stay here. My father would not let me come back. He paid for my college, and the one stipulation I was given was to stay away. I talked to my uncle, and he told me to do it. He didn’t want me to miss out on a college education.” Her voice was clipped when she spoke, willing him silently to let the topic drop.

“Can I ride him?” Changing the subject, she finally turned and met his eyes. Her own hazel eyes appeared haunted by some unknown memory. Daniel Collins had suddenly, with one question, given her the desire to leave.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan couldn't even pretend to understand cutting a loved one from his life simply because of an argument. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth turned to a frown. Even still, he chose not to pursue it. Dan may have been one taco short of a combo meal, but even he knew that picking a fight with the new boss wasn’t the smartest move, and that was exactly where this conversation was headed.

“Did I give you yer phone?” he asked as he nodded. “I don’t mind if you ride him, he has become a bit finicky in his old age, though.” Dan was aching for a drink, today had proven to be far more stressful than he had imagined. His lips curved into a slight grin. Hell, maybe I can even find a bit of trouble to get into…

 

[TabascoKV]

She could see the dissatisfaction in his eyes, but found it very difficult to care. Beth didn’t have to justify herself to him. There was guilt that resonated so deep in her soul that she would never be rid of, but she refused to show that sort of weakness. She had spent so much of her life living within her own weaknesses and Beth was determined to move beyond it.

“No, I didn’t get it.” Her voice was now clipped as she unlatched the gate and took the lead rope off the nail.Clipping it onto the halter, she ran her hand down the side of Samson’s neck as he moved forward. He swivelled his graceful head around and playfully nudged her cheek, bringing a smile to her face.

“Eh, he’s always been impish. Where are the saddles kept?”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

He noticed her tone and bit his tongue to keep from responding in kind. If she didn’t want to explain how she could destroy her favorite uncle the way she did, she didn’t have to. Dan didn’t have to like it. He would just start looking for work elsewhere if he couldn’t find peace with this situation.

Dan checked his pockets real quick and found her phone in his back pocket. He pulled it and handed it to her. “You’ll find I’ve already loaded it with all the numbers that pertain to the farm.” His own tone was just as short as hers, he had to do his job as the old man had taught him; regardless of how he felt about those he worked with. He’d never have been able to live with himself if something had happened to her out on the trail and she wasn’t able to get help.

Dan turned and pointed his thumb at the row of saddles sitting on a rail in the middle of the barn just behind them. “Be careful out there, I’ve already destroyed three nests of rattlesnakes this season. For some reason, they are bad this year.”

There was only the one quad available to get back to the main house, so Dan left it there and began the walk back to the barn.

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth had to fight to keep her eyes from narrowing at his tone. She had started the battle of impatience, and it would be unfair for her to judge him for what she was doing herself. There was also a determination to hold everybody at arm’s length from her. Getting too personal had been disasterous with her thus far, and so she had become committed in sequestering herself from the rest of the world.

“Thank you.” Speaking curtly, she headed in the direction of the saddles. Samson stood there ever so patiently as she recalled clumsily how to saddle a horse. Once she got started, it all came back to her. Once everything was in order,she stuck the phone in her back pocket and hoisted herself onto the horse’s back.

It felt so strange to sit on top of the world after she had spent so long treading in the trenches. Clicking her tongue, she gently squeezed her knees to coax Samson into motion. He immediately complied and started off at a light walk. She kept her eyes on the dark clouds that were gathering in the distance, and knew she wouldn’t have too much time.

She took an old trail through a wooded area and came out into another field about twenty minutes later. Beth took him up to a trot and then a canter, amazed at how naturally riding a horse came back to her. When she was little, her uncle had entered her in horse shows, and she had done well. He used to tell her that horses were in her blood.

Almost an hour had passed and the weather was beginning to bare down on the farm. Samson also kept getting ambitious, trying to take off at a full gallop on her. Finally, she gave in and allowed him to go full out on the way back to the barn. She bent down low, her butt rising slightly from the saddle as they tore across the field. She brought him back down to a gentle walk to calm his heart and body down. By the time they reached the barn, and she walked him in, the rain came pourin down in sheets.

Beth’s cheeks were flushed, and a part of her felt more alive than she had since she was a child. Taking the saddle off, she reattached the lead rope and attached Samson to a hook. She found a supply of sugar cubes in a cabinent and offered up a few before taking a brush to him.