Memo to: Monsieur Chef - cc: All Literoticans

[Isabella Thorne]

To: Monsieur Chef

cc: All Literoticans

From: Isabella Thorne

Date: January 31, 2002

RE: Lotion Gun
____________________________________________________

Thank you for the good point that you brought up in our boardroom meeting last night, Monsieur Chef. It was a pleasure to once again feel your strength and leadership.

I trust that my effort was satisfactory.

I am still a little concerned, however, over the term “Lotion Gun”.

I wonder if perhaps the term could be misconstrued to mean a revolver that someone has filled with Jergen’s hand lotion. This could create unnecessary panic, havoc, and senseless violence within the literotica organization.

If you would like to discuss the matter further, Sir, please do not hesitate to contact me in my office or in the boardroom.

I await your instructions.

Yours truly,
Miss Thorne

 

[LukkyKnight]

Ms. Thorne,

With all due respect I must ask for immediate clarification of the term lotion gun used by you in a recent post (see below.) Carelessly brandishing such terminology about in an environment such as this where persons are inclined to assume the presence of innuendo and/or double-entendre in the overwhelming majority of the cases is, in a word, provocative.

Provocative and intriguing. In two words, such careless terminological brandishment is provocative, intriguing, and inciteful. [Ed. note: yes, in this case, that is the correct spelling.]

What have you to say for yourself, Ms. Thorne? How do you intend to make reparation for all the hopes you've ~ahem~ raised?

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Dear Mr. Knight:

Re: Loaded Gun

Please forgive my assumption that you were at the meeting in question regarding the lotion gun.

I submit for your immediate attention the Minutes of the lotion gun meeting for your full review:

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=64753&perpage=20&pagenumber=2

In the future, dear Sir, i would be more than pleased to offer my expert services and please rest assured that i am the best type around.

Yours sincerely,
Ms. Thorne

cc: Monsieur Chef
All Literoticans

 

[LukkyKnight]

Memo to: Inimitable Thorne

Re: Guns and Rosebuds

I have reviewed the minutes, and gained a much better grasp on the situation, which you seem to have well in hand. I am sure there is no finer woman for the position under discussion. Please have your people contact my people forthwith, to arrange a tete-a-tete over lunch.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Miss Thorne

It seems you have invited another party without my permission.

Why is this, do you demand multiple lotion gun treatment? Do you need the added treatment on company time? I think I may have a problem with managemnt about this, especially the last boardroom meeting that they missed out on. Could you plese cease and desist soliciting outsiders for the task at which I and other board members have provide for you.

Yours sincerely

Monsieur Chef

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Cher Monsier Chef,

It was with grave concern that I read your recent letter.

I would like to point out that the “other party” in question is the new “whiz kid on the block” who recently joined the literotica organization.

Because of his exemplary skills, one can only assume he will soon be elected to the Board of Directors and therefore partake in our boardroom meetings.

I was simply trying to welcome him as a prospective member of our management team and to assure him of my dedication to the literotica organization and its members.

I trust he will be made to feel welcome at our next boardroom meeting as I am certain he has his own point to bring up.

Yours truly
Miss Thorne

cc: Mr. Knight / All Literoticans

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Dear Mr. Knight:

I would very much like to learn more about the position you had in mind. How many positions are invoved in total?

I will have my people contact your people to arrange for the suggested tete a tete luncheon.

What do you like to eat?

Yours truly,
Ms. Thorne

 

[LukkyKnight]

Ms. Thorne,

Your adept manner with the prickly head chef serves as a model to negotiators everywhere. In fact, it is this smoothness of yours which has garnered so much interest.

A quick consultation reveals that you would be a good fit for every position open at this time, but sadly I lost count of the precise number. Suffice it to say that we can discuss your preferences further while while dining.

My tastes and apetite are broad; I favor full, well-presented, nicely garnished feasts over rushed snacks. My tongue does have a noted affinity for the color pink, and I'm confident in your judgement - surprise me.

Your oral correspondent,

LK

I would very much like to learn more about the position you had in mind. How many positions are invoved in total?

I will have my people contact your people to arrange for the suggested tete a tete luncheon.

What do you like to eat?

Yours truly,
Ms. Thorne

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Memo to Ms. Cheyenne

From the Desk of Ms. Thorne ....

Would you kindly lower the volume of the speakers on your computer, Ms. C.

The constant blaring of "Macho Macho Man" is making it difficult for me to concentrate on the available positions and I am concerned that I might "blow" this up-cum-ing tete a tete lunch ...

although I am not sure what I will be eating.

Yours truly,
Isabella Thorne
______________________
Every man ought to be a macho macho man,
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,
Have their own life style and ideals,
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's a special person in anybody's land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest)

Macho, macho man (see my big thick mustache)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)

Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! HEY!

~Village People~

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Memo to Ms. Cheyenne

Dear Ms. Thorne,

I am not mechanically inclined. If you can ever figure out how to get "Macho Macho" men to shut up, er... I mean, play softer, please report your trick to me. I'd greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Ms. Cheyenne

 

[Isabella Thorne]

All I really want

Forget this memo shit Cheyenne - you're only sitting in the next office over ..

<Getting up from desk as I straighten out my short tight black skirt to make sure the tops of my stockings don't show - damn those learing macho men in the office - and walk into Cheyenne's office> ....

sooooo is that macho or what? i'm not sure what is going on here - what do you think, dear?

men can be such boors sometimes ... i mean ok i fuck a few guys in the office from time to time ... does that mean i can't fuck anyone else new?

what the hell just happened? do you know?

what does macho really mean anyways?

... and here hon ... let me switch the CD for you .... i brought over an Alanis disc.... pop her in darlin'....
_________________________
Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance

Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker

And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred

Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around

Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...

~Alanis Morissette~