GuyJD
"Simply.....the best"
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2000
- Posts
- 4,898
To: Corporate Office
From: Penis
Subject: Pay Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures and
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
____________________________________________________________
To: Penis
From: Corporate Office
Subject: Pay Raise
After thoroughly assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas. You do not take initiative-you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before completing the day's work. And if that's not enough,
You have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
From: Penis
Subject: Pay Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures and
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
____________________________________________________________
To: Penis
From: Corporate Office
Subject: Pay Raise
After thoroughly assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas. You do not take initiative-you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before completing the day's work. And if that's not enough,
You have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
(or, I should say, certain places in this site)
