Mayday, or a Meeting of the Minds

[PhallusOperandi]

Looking for damsels in distress- mostly of the sort caused by sexual frustration, but I'm not horribly picky. Please bring a thinking cap and a pair of handcuffs; all other articles optional. I will do my best to get inside your head- and if I can't understand where you're coming from, I'll at least develop what you're coming to.

 

[PhallusOperandi]

This position remains unfilled. Those seeking to feel fulfilled (and filled) are welcome to assume the position, so to speak.

 

[PhallusOperandi]

A metaphorical chair is still open for a damsel's derriere. While I can't promise said chair won't be occupied when you go to take a seat, I can confirm a space in my lap will always be available- as a headrest, at the very least.

 

[thiscouldbtricky]

So chivalrous. Tell me, what are YOUR qualifications for saving the damsel in question.

 

[PhallusOperandi]

So chivalrous. Tell me, what are YOUR qualifications for saving the damsel in question.

Pre-prurience interrogation? And here I thought my charm and witticisms spoke for themselves.

To keep matters brief, I'm not one to keep things brief when the briefs are beneath me. I'm also not one to ignore pretexts, subtexts, contexts, or- shockingly enough- texts in general. Beyond that, my pen (patent pending) is patently mightier than the average sword, let alone its chirographic competitors.

To summarize: I'm a discerning, dependable deviant.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Looking for damsels in distress- mostly of the sort caused by sexual frustration, but I'm not horribly picky. Please bring a thinking cap and a pair of handcuffs; all other articles optional. I will do my best to get inside your head- and if I can't understand where you're coming from, I'll at least develop what you're coming to.

Not picky-it's like you called my name.

I am not in distress but I can cause it, even without intending to. I wouldn't mind practicing my distress call though. Handcuffs, clothing optional and thinking cap all seem reasonable. Where would you like me?

Exploration makes for a more well-rounded writer don't you think? I assume you write, but I cannot verify it. Perhaps an opportunity will present itself and I will be given a sample...

 

[PhallusOperandi]

Not picky-it's like you called my name.

I am not in distress but I can cause it, even without intending to. I wouldn't mind practicing my distress call though. Handcuffs, clothing optional and thinking cap all seem reasonable. Where would you like me?

Exploration makes for a more well-rounded writer don't you think? I assume you write, but I cannot verify it. Perhaps an opportunity will present itself and I will be given a sample...

A sample isn't a terrible idea. Perhaps a prompt would suffice to be the hors d'oeuvre you deserve.

 

[Iceprincess12]

A sample isn't a terrible idea. Perhaps a prompt would suffice to be the hors d'oeuvre you deserve.

A handwritten note on scented stationary with an invitation to an exclusive event?

Rsvp please, I fill up quickly.

 

[SenorFuego]

Pre-prurience interrogation?

To summarize: I'm a discerning, dependable deviant.

You ever think to stop trying so hard and simplify whatever you are going through?

The way you type says to me, 'I'm a douche who tries to hard.' The people who buy into it are pretentious. (Losers in the advice giving).

 

[PhallusOperandi]

You ever think to stop trying so hard and simplify whatever you are going through?

The way you type says to me, 'I'm a douche who tries to hard.' The people who buy into it are pretentious. (Losers in the advice giving).

You make a compelling argument, minus the apparent difficulty you have with discerning between "to" and "too." Really, though, I'm not writing anything terribly complicated.