maybe if I post this here... ?

[scaerietalefaerie]

My partner likes me to squat over his face while he tongue fucks my asshole, he jerks off while I piss into his mouth and recently he's been obsessed with cumming in my ass and watching it dribble back out. It's only in the last few months that he's been interested in doing this stuff (We've been together a few years and have a 1 year old daughter). He's the only person I've fucked that I actually enjoy having sex with and I will do anything to make him happy but I feel a little self concious and weird doing some of the stuff he likes. Don't get me wrong, it's kinky as hell but I'm finding it hard to feel sexy. I was a topless waitress (heehee) before I was with him and even though I'm back to my pre baby weight (finally!) I have a few stretchmarks nothing major and my boobs are still great, but aren't what they used to be. It's all I can think about when I have my ass in his face!

Anyway, I'm rambling, I guess my problem is that I'm feeling pretty amateur at all this new stuff he's into and I want to be able to look and feel sexy while we're experimenting. I feel out of my depth and I was wondering if any of you could help me with advice, tip/tricks, etc. My guy is 10 years older than me and is well experienced (He was in a fairly well known band and toured the country for 4 years meeting obliging groupies). Sometimes I worry that I'm not good enough... I've always felt silly when I try to talk dirty, I end up giggling my ass off and it really upsets him! Is there anything beginner-ish I could say to ease myself into it? I'm 24 and I feel like I'm a virgin all over again!!!

HEEEEEELLLPPPP.

Also, is it normal to only be able to cum when you're masturbating and thinking about men who are 30+ years older than you?

 

[dave's thing]

First off this is a much better place to post this then over on the GB... they tend to get .... whats the proper wording..... ah.. rambling with not alot to say.

I am a little confused about a couple of things that maybe you could clarify for me:
1- are you not feeling sexy (and a bit self conscious) because of the way you look ala post natal?
or
2- because you do not feel comfortable doing the things he wants you do?

Also if talking dirty (the way he wants) is not comfortable then don't do it as it is probably ruining the moment for him. As matter of fact the best thing you could do is talk to him about the feelings you have and explore them with him more.

Please do answer the questions above for further info from not only me but others too.

BTW---- nothing wrong with thinking about over 30 men, we are usually more sexy, if I do say so myself. (OK I can hear the bashers coming now LOL)

 

[SweetErika]

Anyway, I'm rambling, I guess my problem is that I'm feeling pretty amateur at all this new stuff he's into and I want to be able to look and feel sexy while we're experimenting. I feel out of my depth and I was wondering if any of you could help me with advice, tip/tricks, etc.

Sexy is a state of mind. He's obviously still attracted to you, and you said you think you still look good, so the rest is going to have to come from within you. I'd suggest reading up on improving your self-esteem and doing the exercises that go with it. Realize, too, that you'll likely feel more comfortable with more practice and if you stop worrying about how sexy you look or seem. Sex isn't about camera angles and lighting; it is about people who care about each other having fun and being intimate. If you're attracted to each other on a basic level, it shouldn't matter how you look during or if things go wrong. Some of the best sex includes missteps and lots of laughter...just being our real selves.

My guy is 10 years older than me and is well experienced (He was in a fairly well known band and toured the country for 4 years meeting obliging groupies). Sometimes I worry that I'm not good enough... I've always felt silly when I try to talk dirty, I end up giggling my ass off and it really upsets him! Is there anything beginner-ish I could say to ease myself into it? I'm 24 and I feel like I'm a virgin all over again!!!

Your feelings of inadequacy are your problem, and his poor reaction to your discomfort is his problem. You can't fix him, but you can build yourself up to the point where you don't wonder if you're good enough or feel bad about your skills.

Check out this thread for help on talking dirty (look at the phone sex threads in there, too). Start slow, with things you are comfortable with, and add more description/words that push your boundaries. It's a matter of getting comfortable with yourself, not worrying about how things sound, practicing and enjoying what comes out of your mouth. Talk dirty for you, not your partner.

Also, is it normal to only be able to cum when you're masturbating and thinking about men who are 30+ years older than you?

It depends on your definition of "normal" I guess. There's certainly nothing wrong with anything you might fantasize about; only reality counts. And, yes, some people fantasize about older partners and that's really the "button" that gets them off. I don't get off on regular sex fantasies - my thoughts have to be colored with BDSM for me to come while masturbating. I really don't care if that's normal or not, since it doesn't impact my life.


All in all, it sounds to me like you're so wrapped up in what's normal, looks good, is sexy and adequate that you're having trouble enjoying yourself, or you're not enjoying yourself as much as you could be. That's a self-esteem issue, and it's not going to get better until you feel better about yourself. It's not easy, but if you really work on it, I bet you'll find all/most of these fears fall by the wayside.

 

[Jack_Samuel]

There seems to be have been some great feedback already give.

All i can add from a guys point of view is that i wouldnt mind how amateur / skilled my wife was in the bedroom, as long as your open and honest with how you feel so that we can connect and grow together.

Make sure you speak up with your insecurties so that hopefully he can help make you feel more at ease. I think anyone would find it hard to feel sexy when they are uncomfortable

 

[scaerietalefaerie]

First off this is a much better place to post this then over on the GB... they tend to get .... whats the proper wording..... ah.. rambling with not alot to say.

I am a little confused about a couple of things that maybe you could clarify for me:
1- are you not feeling sexy (and a bit self conscious) because of the way you look ala post natal?
or
2- because you do not feel comfortable doing the things he wants you do?

Also if talking dirty (the way he wants) is not comfortable then don't do it as it is probably ruining the moment for him. As matter of fact the best thing you could do is talk to him about the feelings you have and explore them with him more.

Please do answer the questions above for further info from not only me but others too.

BTW---- nothing wrong with thinking about over 30 men, we are usually more sexy, if I do say so myself. (OK I can hear the bashers coming now LOL)

I think my problem IS probably low self esteem. I'm not overweight but I'm not very toned. I have little pudgy bits. I feel myself hiding behind my elbow length hair a lot of the time. I have a kinda pretty face but I feel conscious of the fact that everything didn't snap back to where it used to be. It's also hard when you know that his past conquests include Australian soap stars, models and even a couple of music channel hosts! Argh!
I'm becoming comfortable doing these things for him but I suppose after always having a fairly conservative sex life with people in the past it seems a little strange. He puts me on the spot sometimes and asks me to come up with sexy ideas. I'm not a "sexy" person. I'm a sarcastic, beer guzzling, weird, nerdy, goofball...Generally. Trying to pretend that I'm SEXY feels very alien to me, I never thought I would have to do it! I'm the girl who usually asks if we can go doggy so we can watch 90210 at the same time! haha! Seriously.

I will do ANYTHING to make him happy which is why all your advice is so important to me. I want to discover or create this side of myself for him and for me too.
I tried working on the dirty talk thing last night and I find it easier if I whisper rather than talk because the sound of my own voice saying these things sounds fucking absurd.

I just want him to walk in the door today and be blown away by the things I do to him.

Oh, over 30 men are hot. It's the thought of being with men in their 50's or 60's that turns me on the most though. Not gross old wrinkly men. Just sexy, confident, much older men. What the hell?

 

[dave's thing]

I think my problem IS probably low self esteem. I'm not overweight but I'm not very toned. I have little pudgy bits. I feel myself hiding behind my elbow length hair a lot of the time. I have a kinda pretty face but I feel conscious of the fact that everything didn't snap back to where it used to be. It's also hard when you know that his past conquests include Australian soap stars, models and even a couple of music channel hosts! Argh!
I'm becoming comfortable doing these things for him but I suppose after always having a fairly conservative sex life with people in the past it seems a little strange. He puts me on the spot sometimes and asks me to come up with sexy ideas. I'm not a "sexy" person. I'm a sarcastic, beer guzzling, weird, nerdy, goofball...Generally. Trying to pretend that I'm SEXY feels very alien to me, I never thought I would have to do it! I'm the girl who usually asks if we can go doggy so we can watch 90210 at the same time! haha! Seriously.

I will do ANYTHING to make him happy which is why all your advice is so important to me. I want to discover or create this side of myself for him and for me too.
I tried working on the dirty talk thing last night and I find it easier if I whisper rather than talk because the sound of my own voice saying these things sounds fucking absurd.

I just want him to walk in the door today and be blown away by the things I do to him.

Oh, over 30 men are hot. It's the thought of being with men in their 50's or 60's that turns me on the most though. Not gross old wrinkly men. Just sexy, confident, much older men. What the hell?

Well I'm glad you got specific about "older men" cause I still qualify!! Nothing wrong with that say I!!
I truely don't think you are being compared to the people you think you are, if you are being compared at all, which I doubt. After all you are the mother of his child and you are the one he comes home to! And generally speaking... this from an experienced old man..... those kind of affairs or relationships are pretty brief for a reason BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. So I think you can safely get over that bit.
Another thing I think you can get over is the fact that watching TV while getting the banana up the love hole ........ means to me that that your past experiences have been pretty BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Now that you have some excitement in your life (and if you don't mind me saying so in his too) lets get you down to thinking about what you are comfortable with doing that will appeal to him as well. This is where you need to be the helper here. If whispering dirty naughty sexy words makes you more comfortable then do it!! So far the things you have mentioned have not been un heard of things. While they are not necessarily things I may want to me they are not things I have not done to others and there are many things I like done to me or to do to others that may not be your cup of tea either (wouldn't mind watching you have a pee ). So every one is different and yo just gotta find your nitch!!

 

[waynerobertson]

Hello . . In answer to your question . . .

Please pm me here regarding older men. Or yahoo me at waynerobertson1@yahoo.com

 

[ZoeBird]

Hey, there is nothing wrong with being turned on by older men! I have that fetish too. I have always dated older men, usually 20-30 years older. My husband is almost 50 and I am in my twenties and he is the best lover I have ever had. So if you are weird, than I am too! lol

Honestly, I don't think it's weird to be turned on by older guys. It's common!

 

[The Gimp]

Regardless of what you are fantasizing about if the only time you cum is when you are masturbating then you should be making some requests of him. Although it's great that you are willing to do anything to please him in the long term the relationship will suffer if he doesn't work harder on getting you off.
Try telling him that you want him to fuck your ass more than anything, but first you want him to eat your pussy until you orgasm. I think that at least 90% of guys would consider that to be a fair trade

 

[simplegirl]

talking dirty doesn't have to be over the top. It can be describing a fantasy, or simply describing what he's doing to you is making you feel, and what's turning you on at that moment.

Describe how gorgeous you find his cock, how you love to lick up that drop of pre-cum, how you feel a zing of heat straight to your pussy flooding it with juices when he lightly bites down on a nipple. Start slow and simple until your comfort zone grows.

 

[Mr.G]

Fair "trade"

Try telling him that you want him to fuck your ass more than anything, but first you want him to eat your pussy until you orgasm. I think that at least 90% of guys would consider that to be a fair trade

*nodding head* raising hand* possible 91% .... *

 

[trb2216]

sounds like fun to me..

 

[AgonySceneGirl]

My partner likes me to squat over his face while he tongue fucks my asshole, he jerks off while I piss into his mouth and recently he's been obsessed with cumming in my ass and watching it dribble back out.

is he seeking therapy? if not he should lol i'm sorry but, my god, thats disgusting.

 

[Davetmat]

is he seeking therapy? if not he should lol i'm sorry but, my god, thats disgusting.

You know you could just shut ya mouth