may be i am not into bdsm at all?

[harleyqueen]

Has anyone of you watched Simpsons?
you know Mr. Burns? I am Mr.Burns type, though i am girl, and I want my Smithers.
I like being mean and degrading, tyrannical assertive...
I want someone who'd literally be my hand and feet, my slave,
but the whole sexual stuffs that's talked on here, seem just not as much interesting.
I have some e-slaves, and they seem to expect something sexual a lot,
it's all about 'penis'...
I might be occassionally reward them with sexual stuff,
but not really interested in BDSM sex most of times
may be it means i am not into BDSM, and bdsm subs wouldn't fit me.
duh, where is my SMITHERS
i don't knw how to deal with e-slaves,
it's annoying to know they have own wishes ETC
i want a servant, not an openly horny servant. male sex slave is just no fun compared to female sex slave may be, they enjoy it way too much

so the simply question is: i am not into BDSM?

 

[BiBunny]

I feel you. I have the same problem. Well, our exact wants aren't the same, but the "finding a lot of this shit silly and overly sexualized in stupid ways" part is.

I don't know if it means you (and I) are not into BDSM at all. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, but I don't have an answer to it yet. I guess one of the good things about BDSM is that the definition is broad enough that it can apply to most anyone, but on the other hand...it can fucking apply to most anyone, ya know?

Also, protip: You will most likely not find what you want looking on Lit.

 

[harleyqueen]

perfect

bibunny perfect reply, yea, exactly what you are saying i agree!
so where do I find what I want? recommendation of any other site?

 

[BiBunny]

bibunny perfect reply, yea, exactly what you are saying i agree!
so where do I find what I want? recommendation of any other site?

Are you looking for a real-life relationship?

 

[Stella_Omega]

fetlife.com collarme.com

Be specific about what you want and specific about what you don't want.

You can say you are looking for an asexual guy.

Don't make too many generalizations about what female subs want or don't want. Asexual women might not want sex, sexual women probably want sex.

 

[velvet_crush]

Well, you kinda have to figure out what's in it for your real life Smithers. My guess is the majority of "slaves" - be it online or real time - would like some kind of reward for service.

(Yeah, yeah, the service itself should be reward enough)

In the community here, I've met some people who do get off on high service in itself. I've had friends who've put out a message they want someone to help clean the house or help load/unload camping gear or host a party or (fill in the blank). The message was really specific.

It doesn't matter if you call it BDSM or not. Maybe it's more about the power dynamic. You're in control, telling someone what to get done.

Haha - or maybe you just want a maid with no control involved at all??

 

[satindesire]

BDSM doesn't have to be all about sex, hon.

It's part of it, but no one has to do everything under the umbrella to be considered kinky. For instance? I'm not really into knives, or blood...but I'm still kinky. We don't have to like everything kinky to be kinky.

If you're not into fucking, be sure you're going after people who aren't into fucking either. Or are really okay with it.

I would suggest that yes, an asexual submissive male would be a good idea...and it would be a good idea too, to think about allowing him to be poly so he could get sex elsewhere. That way both your needs are met and his needs are met (if he needs sex, that is.)

Fetlife is a good place to meet folks. I socialize there all the time, and it's got some quality dudes there. Check it out.