...Massages?

[Mhorashty]

So, I'm about to start a bunch of different threads in HT, I figured I might as well start with something simple/easier than some of the other stuff. Recently, my fiancee has been having some lower back issues, and she seems to really enjoy massages. The problem I'm having is.. I don't seem to be any good at giving them. Our roommate is good at them, so he will usually give her one, or one of her friends (who I can't stand.. but that's a different story) is pretty good so he will give her one.

I want to be better at them, but I feel kinda weird asking my roommate "Hey, how do you give massages?"

Any advice?

 

[Aquagal]

Use a good oil like sweet almond oil or one specifically made for massaging. When you massage, take your time. Don't lose contact with the skin. As far as technique, can't help you there.

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

try this site, it has a video and it may give you some insight.

www.ehow.com/how_8066_give-back-massage

Enjoy!

 

[mjgir73]

I have noticed that I use a different technique and style depending on who I give the massage to. As massages in general to me are very erotic and stimulating as a rule.

I like to vary pressure based on where I am touching and how tight the muscles are as well,

A good massage will take time and you will use alot of different amounts of pressure too.

 

[Homburg]

If your friend is good, ask. Seriously. Don't feel weird, ask for help. It's your fiancee. Unless your friend is an ass, you'll probably get advice.

Mostly though, it is a matter of having good hands. Being able to sense what is hurting and read a person's responses to what you are doing. Knowledge of anatomy helps too.

 

[FurryFury]

So, I'm about to start a bunch of different threads in HT, I figured I might as well start with something simple/easier than some of the other stuff. Recently, my fiancee has been having some lower back issues, and she seems to really enjoy massages. The problem I'm having is.. I don't seem to be any good at giving them. Our roommate is good at them, so he will usually give her one, or one of her friends (who I can't stand.. but that's a different story) is pretty good so he will give her one.

I want to be better at them, but I feel kinda weird asking my roommate "Hey, how do you give massages?"

Any advice?

Go ahead and ask. You can't learn by keeping your mouth shut.

When he or she massages her, be there, learn from both watching and doing. Soon you'll be a pro at what works best for her.

There are tons of ways to massage. Tons!

BTW, a tennis ball rolled along the spine can really help as well.

Good luck!

 

[WriterDom]

There are some How To books on the subject.

 

[Indulge Yourself]

I have a sore back a lot of the time too and will tell anyone who wants to give me a massage how to do it the way I like it (and need, because sometimes I'm in agony). First I suggest "getting to know" her back and muscles/muscle groups. To do that...you need to rub. While doing so ask her what spot hurts or needs attention. She should be able to direct you pretty well to the general area. Sometimes sore areas are hard for even the receiver to pinpoint and that just means you need to explore her with your fingers more.

My partner gives some seriously great massages, but it's partly because I'm very vocal about telling him where to go to find the "sweet" spots. He uses everything in his arsenal; fingertips, palm, knuckles, thumbs.

Oh and I suggest keeping away from her spine. In my opinion it's uncomfortable and I've heard that you can hurt someone that way. It's muscles that get sore and need massage, not joints and vertebrae.

And I seem to break out from oil of any kind, so you may want to ask her (or experiment) to find what she wants/needs. I've found that copious amount of a mild lotion work well. We use good ole Cetaphil.

 

[KokopelliRises]

And I seem to break out from oil of any kind, so you may want to ask her (or experiment) to find what she wants/needs. I've found that copious amount of a mild lotion work well. We use good ole Cetaphil.

What I typically use when I'm massaging someone else is a cocoa butter based lotion. It smells pretty good and it makes the skin very soft and pliable.

 

[pleasantville]

When massaging the back definatley use a lotion. Remember the muscles of the back all run from the spine outwards. Try tracing the muscles just using minimal pressure at first. Ask your g/f what feels right and what doesn't. Go get a real massage (therapuetic) and you will be able to feel what needs to be done.

 

[FurryFury]

Just a word of caution. There are ALL kinds of massages. Some professional massages I've gotten sucked for me. So it all comes back to doing what works for the person you care about. Just like sex and so many other things, there is no one right answer because everyone is different.

I don't like lotions in general. I hate hot stones because they don't actually get into the muscle worth a crap. I like a medium hard massage but NOT a deep tissue massage cause that shit can hurt me. Scalp massages are great unless I have to be somewhere and have to worry about my hair and so . . .

 

[Homburg]

I'm a total whore for heavy deep tissue work, especially on my neck. I've got chronic soft-tissue issues in both massiters and occipitals (sp?). Literally a whore. My massage therapist knows I will gladly pay her in sexual favours. And have

 

[Mhorashty]

Well, thanks for the advice everyone...

...but at current it's moot.

My g/f who is actually my fiance, or maybe I should say WAS my fiance broke up with me a week ago.. so I'll have no need for tips for massages for a while.

 

[Nicodemus79]

Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that, Mhorashty.

For future reference, I was a licensed massage therapist (before I moved, no reciprocity regarding licensure between states), so if you ever do need any advice, feel free to ask me!

 

[lushlucid]

Get her to see a professional. Buy her a gift certificate as pressie

Edit: I just read your last post.
So sorry.

 

[Bert Notorius]

Look at it as a temporary setback. Having the knowledge of massage will only be of benefit in future relationships. I started with picking up a good book on the subject, like The Sensual Massage or equivalent. The downside of mastering massage is, when done correctly, the massagee will be relaxed to the point where sex may be less desired than a short nap, but it will pay future dividends- trust me. Back in my dating days, massage opened up a number of opportunities, if you know what I mean.

 

[Nicodemus79]

Don't get me wrong, books are great. They can teach you all about the basics and anatomy, but massage is something that has to be done hands-on to truly learn. You can't learn how to give a good massage from a book, trust me.

By the way, I'm not trying to downplay anyone's advice here. It's just that I used to do it for a living, so I have strong opinions on it.

Of course, you don't have to be professionally trained to give an enjoyable massage.

By the way, a massage that lasts 30 minutes or less is stimulating. Anything longer than that has a relaxing effect. You can also adjust it by the technique you use. Tapotement (percussion) and vibration are very stimulating, while effleurage (rubbing, feather strokes), petrissage (kneading), and light compression techniques are very relaxing. Ending a longer massage with tapotement and vibration can go a long way in counteracting the relaxing effects if you're looking to engage in some extra-curricular activities.

 

[Bert Notorius]

Don't get me wrong, books are great. They can teach you all about the basics and anatomy, but massage is something that has to be done hands-on to truly learn. You can't learn how to give a good massage from a book, trust me.

Yeah, but how many victims perished during the learning process?

 

[Nicodemus79]

Hehe, touche.