masks wich one are you?

[loneranger8921]

I have been wrestling with this recently. I feel I have almost 2 identities
There is my public and family view where I try to act all Norman Rockwell. Then there is Lone. He is a Dom with a high sex drive who likes disciplining and taking and buggering wayward Submissive women. I find some times in my public life I ask myself what would Lone do. Because of my job and personal friendships I can't do what i really want . How many people have merged your persona I will say or do we all maintain 2 or more persona's?

 

[eastern sun]

I have been wrestling with this recently. I feel I have almost 2 identities
There is my public and family view where I try to act all Norman Rockwell. Then there is Lone. He is a Dom with a high sex drive who likes disciplining and taking and buggering wayward Submissive women. I find some times in my public life I ask myself what would Lone do. Because of my job and personal friendships I can't do what i really want . How many people have merged your persona I will say or do we all maintain 2 or more persona's?

I have felt like I had two personas for most of my life. It wasn't until I became slave 24/7 that I felt the two were merged, and even then my sexuality is kept under wraps most of the time.

But I'm of the opinion that we are all capable of many things we don't normally act on in our day-to-day life. Exploring our limits - and knowing why we do, and don't do, different things - is part of the joy of this human life. At least that's the way I experience it.

 

[wicked woman]

I don't see it as two personas but two sides of the same coin. I have a private and public life. They're both me and mine but what's appropriate in my most intimate relationships is not always appropriate for work or acquaintances or shopping at the grocery store.

For me D/s is how I express my sexuality so that it's not apparent in non-sexual situations doesn't cause me to be in conflict.

Instead of thinking of them as masks I'd think of it as wearing the appropriate clothes for the occasion.

Could be just that I've always been very good at compartmentalizing my life that I think this way.

 

[dirtymary]

I'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels this way! With my Master i am someone completely different and apart from the very proper, serious and staid person i am in public and with family. I don't find it difficult to switch roles but sometimes things do slip through!

 

[LadyVamp138]

I often experience an almost chameleon-like personality identity variations. At work I take charge, when I'm at home I am domestic but when it comes to just me and a partner, I am a feisty submissive that yearns for her Daddy/Dom. The personalities always seem to adapt to the environment I am in.

 

[Sharon_]

I have been wrestling with this recently. I feel I have almost 2 identities

There are only supposed to be two?

...ruh-roh...
(counts mine...loses count)


I think one fulfills different roles in different situations with different people; my Inner Imp Demon doesn't make an appearance when I'm in an environ requiring decorum, Maw-Maw doesn't pop out unless I'm with the grand...and she sure wouldn't pop out on a date (tho' the Inner Imp Demon very well might ).

I think we're supposed to be multi-faceted and it's just tough noogies if we can't be our favorite facet all the time (unless, of course, one is one of those one dimensional souls thus optionless - which I find rather sad) . YMMV.

 

[Beck31]

Not sure for me is it is a merging but rather two distinct personalities. When I am behind closed doors I am one way (a submissive wolf pup) and when I am in public that part of of me is hidden.
I feel it can be hard sometimes balancing the two b/c the way your family or friends may view u is different from the way you view yourself or those friends who are in the lifestyle view you. Thats my two cents anyway.

 

[NaughtyRedSiren]

I think of it as every coin having two sides and that with today's society, there is a place and time for everything. But in some odd ball cases, like myself, having two personas or what i lovingly call "masks" is fun!! I have a very sweet, innocent and wholesome look to me (even though I'm a redhead). So I love the surprise look on my lover's face when in private (or when so many eyes and ears aren't paying attention in public) when the switch flips, I put on that other personality and I become a sultry submissive. I don't find having to separate the two an issue because I don't really want my family or co workers to know what kind of wild child they are associating with lol But at the same time, I do find certain details slip, like how I stand, hold my hands behind my back or how I respond with a "Yes, Sir". Then I just have to bite my lip and grin

 

[Beck31]

Very interesting. Thank you for sharing your view NaughtyRedSiren.

 

[ownedsubgal]

no masks here. years ago, before becoming a slave and even for a short time as a slave but before living with my Master, i tried desperately to don the mask of "normal girl." i just wanted to appear like everyone else...functional, independent, able to stand up for myself, etc. unfortunately i always failed miserably at this. it was my Master who finally drilled it into my brain that there is no shame in being who i am. so while i still don't advertise anything, i don't make any apologies for being different either.

 

[Beck31]

Those are some good points ownedsubgal.

 

[NaughtyRedSiren]

Great point OwnedSubgirl!!! You should never be ashamed of who you are! Never try to mold yourself into someone else's norms... You are you and you should never apologize for that!

Thanks Becky31.... I try to throw my two cents in every once in a blue moon

 

[Beck31]

Lol. Its just Beck but thats cool.

 

[ThomasShort]

There are only supposed to be two?

...ruh-roh...
(counts mine...loses count)


I think one fulfills different roles in different situations with different people; my Inner Imp Demon doesn't make an appearance when I'm in an environ requiring decorum, Maw-Maw doesn't pop out unless I'm with the grand...and she sure wouldn't pop out on a date (tho' the Inner Imp Demon very well might ).

I think we're supposed to be multi-faceted and it's just tough noogies if we can't be our favorite facet all the time (unless, of course, one is one of those one dimensional souls thus optionless - which I find rather sad) . YMMV.

I have noticed and met a few people here with numerous personalities, all under control from the original creator.
As a writer I know how characters can sometimes run off of their own volition, and I think dom and sub personalities work in much the same fashion, especially if they have names like yours Sharon.

At present I have my real world personality, and Thomas Short who exists online as this lil' pleasure tiny.

I have others knocking around in my noggin somewhere though.

Great point OwnedSubgirl!!! You should never be ashamed of who you are! Never try to mold yourself into someone else's norms... You are you and you should never apologize for that!

Thanks Becky31.... I try to throw my two cents in every once in a blue moon

I concur, never be ashamed. But a lack of shame does not mean a lack of numerous personalities. You can be very proud of all of them.

 

[satindesire]

Unfortunately, whatcha see is whatcha get with me.

 

[Sharon_]

I have noticed and met a few people here with numerous personalities, all under control from the original creator.
As a writer I know how characters can sometimes run off of their own volition, and I think dom and sub personalities work in much the same fashion, especially if they have names like yours Sharon.

At present I have my real world personality, and Thomas Short who exists online as this lil' pleasure tiny.

I have others knocking around in my noggin somewhere though.



I concur, never be ashamed. But a lack of shame does not mean a lack of numerous personalities. You can be very proud of all of them.

I get the sense there are two entirely different topics being discussed in this thread.

One, to be who one is or be a fake...sometimes (a lot?), people, online especially, are posers--the persona they're portraying is not a facet of who they are, but a different person entirely--a fake.

Two, what I *think* the OP (and you and I are talking about)...limiting which facets of oneself one *chooses* to reveal to others. Not fake, just opting not to put everything out there for everyone to see. The boss, for example, has no need to see the frat boy facet (and I cannot fathom why folks put it all out there on facebook for the world to see).

Both types of folks have multiple reasons for doing them; the former I think not benign--they're trying to run a scam or at best, pretend to be what they wish they were.

*snurf--I'm glad my name choices for some of my facets amuse others, they amuse me...I haven't named all the voices in my head; to paraphrase from 'The Compleat Idiot's Guide to INTJ's'---"no, you can't come inside our heads with us. You wouldn't last five minutes in there, you'd be driven insane by the nonstop cacaphony of voices madly free associating from one idea to the next"

 

[ThomasShort]

I get the sense there are two entirely different topics being discussed in this thread.

One, to be who one is or be a fake...sometimes (a lot?), people, online especially, are posers--the persona they're portraying is not a facet of who they are, but a different person entirely--a fake.

Two, what I *think* the OP (and you and I are talking about)...limiting which facets of oneself one *chooses* to reveal to others. Not fake, just opting not to put everything out there for everyone to see. The boss, for example, has no need to see the frat boy facet (and I cannot fathom why folks put it all out there on facebook for the world to see).

Both types of folks have multiple reasons for doing them; the former I think not benign--they're trying to run a scam or at best, pretend to be what they wish they were.

*snurf--I'm glad my name choices for some of my facets amuse others, they amuse me...I haven't named all the voices in my head; to paraphrase from 'The Compleat Idiot's Guide to INTJ's'---"no, you can't come inside our heads with us. You wouldn't last five minutes in there, you'd be driven insane by the nonstop cacaphony of voices madly free associating from one idea to the next"

I find it intriguing you think someone pretending to be something they not an act not entirely benign. Surely even if someone is lying on the internet about who they are, that is still an extension of their personality/persona/identity. And especially as the internet is a fine place to become what you are not, it would a) be understandable for people to use it as a platform to make pretend, even to intense levels and b) expected of such a platform from those who do not.

I mean, look at me, I'm not a tiny man on a table, but I choose to act like one.

 

[Sharon_]

I find it intriguing you think someone pretending to be something they not an act not entirely benign. Surely even if someone is lying on the internet about who they are, that is still an extension of their personality/persona/identity. And especially as the internet is a fine place to become what you are not, it would a) be understandable for people to use it as a platform to make pretend, even to intense levels and b) expected of such a platform from those who do not.

I mean, look at me, I'm not a tiny man on a table, but I choose to act like one.

Obviously, I used poor wording; let me see if I can do better:

I wasn't even *thinking* putting role playing in the category of pretending to be what one is not...role playing is certainly benign, in most circumstances (one can almost always turn any good thing to bad).

Some examples of what I was talking about that I've seen across the 'net:

The guy who claimed to be a decorated war hero who in truth, had flunked basic training...twice...then was discharged. Being a warrior, let alone a national hero, most certainly wasn't an extension of his personality...but being a liar certainly was. In actual truth, the guy was a bonafide pedophile and collector/distributor of KP.

The guy who claimed he was a mental health professional--and at a higher level that what he truly was--that was clearly not an extension of his personality given the cert he *did* have had been revoked for cause.

Obviously, there's self delusion, too--the woman who thought she was the fourth godhead in the Trinity; the guy who thought he was a cop because he signed up on some internet cop website and they sent him a .gif of a badge with a badge number.

Relevant to here, a Dom who was mightily upset that several women who portrayed themselves as subs to him but were not--I don't think I'd include that as being fake; there's a small likelihood they were being deceptive because the guy was/is hot--and God knows, there's no shortage of either gender who will pretend in order to sidle next to the object of their attraction; but Occam'[s Razor suggests it's more likely the two sides were defining the terms differently

 

[ThomasShort]

Obviously, I used poor wording; let me see if I can do better:

I wasn't even *thinking* putting role playing in the category of pretending to be what one is not...role playing is certainly benign, in most circumstances (one can almost always turn any good thing to bad).

Some examples of what I was talking about that I've seen across the 'net:

The guy who claimed to be a decorated war hero who in truth, had flunked basic training...twice...then was discharged. Being a warrior, let alone a national hero, most certainly wasn't an extension of his personality...but being a liar certainly was. In actual truth, the guy was a bonafide pedophile and collector/distributor of KP.

The guy who claimed he was a mental health professional--and at a higher level that what he truly was--that was clearly not an extension of his personality given the cert he *did* have had been revoked for cause.

Obviously, there's self delusion, too--the woman who thought she was the fourth godhead in the Trinity; the guy who thought he was a cop because he signed up on some internet cop website and they sent him a .gif of a badge with a badge number.

Relevant to here, a Dom who was mightily upset that several women who portrayed themselves as subs to him but were not--I don't think I'd include that as being fake; there's a small likelihood they were being deceptive because the guy was/is hot--and God knows, there's no shortage of either gender who will pretend in order to sidle next to the object of their attraction; but Occam'[s Razor suggests it's more likely the two sides were defining the terms differently

Ah! Then yes I see your point.

I think if pretending to be something else lends itself to the illegal or immoral (though the latter could be subjective) is therefore wrong Miss.

For example, would you believe that a man pretending to be a woman online should be stopped, even though people know people online lie.

I would say Yes to the above, simply because to me its about self-expression in many forms. But I would say that agreeing to the above does not mean someone can say they are a war hero or hide the fact they are a paedophile.

Again, it boils down to a case by case basis, of course, but... the whole thing gets a bit messy on the internet, which I why I never use it to form anything beyond the fantastical or fun. On the other hand people do the use the internet to start long term relationships in 'The Real', so where should I draw the line with how people behave now?

In short, that was a rant and not an answer, though essentially I agree with you.

 

[Leiftheslave]

I definatley keep two seperate 'personas'. My friends, coworkers and family have no idea that I'm a submissive that wants to be humiliated - and I have no intention of ever letting them know.

I think it is great when people can be that person all the time - I'm absolutely amazed at how comfortable you are with yourselves. I don't think I ever could. Not that I think it is a bad thing, it is just how I am.

 

[lilmisscontrary]

I try to be "myself" all the time with everyone. However, there are times when I don't know someone and/or find them to be offensive in some way or not worth my time that I will actively put on a different fake/ public persona. That persona only comes out when I am actively trying to keep that person out of my personal life. If I like someone then I am who I am, if they like me that is great but if not, oh well. In forums such as this, I will be who I am simply because I am anonymous.

 

[KoPilot]

Hah, two? Try like... way more than two. And guess what? I am all of them. If I were all of them all at once all the time, I'd probably explode. I'm not a multitasker.

 

[Redkate]

I think my sides or masks just show parts of who I am. I wouldn't say any of them are unauthentic or someone I wish to be... It's just that I show people the parts of me which are appropriate to our social situation.

 

[culloden]

Sure, definitely Norman Rockwell most of the time. But there's another side that exists only between me and my wife that's no one else's business. I think that's pretty normal.

 

[ThomasShort]

Hah, two? Try like... way more than two. And guess what? I am all of them. If I were all of them all at once all the time, I'd probably explode. I'm not a multitasker.

That's it exactly.

I am a person in real life.
I am Thomas Short.
I am many other names, of many other genders, species, types and personalities. I'm also a goddamn writer, so even outside of the sexual element, I have to juggle ensemble casts regularly