White_Tigress_
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2001
- Posts
- 327
This was so funny, I couldn't help but share with you. I'm not the type to send emails off or forward on and on and on....but when one gets me to chuckle, it has to be good.
The women will understand.
--
Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the
bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of
the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are
probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating
it anyway.
Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place
an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato
mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead
and there won't be any white mess on the outside of
the cake.
The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They will even
decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish
while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and
it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up".
The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while
you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite
with me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you
will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when
putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for
weeks.
The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the
stuff.
Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie
crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy
finish.
The Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie
directions do not include brushing egg whites over the
crust and so I don't do it.
Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut
it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing
will go away.
The Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason
this works is because you can't rub a lime on your
forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and
then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is
because you are now BLIND!
Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening jars:
Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non
slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to
do it.
And finally the most important tip for the holiday
season ...
Martha's way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover
wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?
The women will understand.
--
Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the
bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of
the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are
probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating
it anyway.
Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place
an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato
mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead
and there won't be any white mess on the outside of
the cake.
The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They will even
decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish
while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and
it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up".
The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while
you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite
with me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you
will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when
putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for
weeks.
The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the
stuff.
Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie
crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy
finish.
The Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie
directions do not include brushing egg whites over the
crust and so I don't do it.
Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut
it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing
will go away.
The Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason
this works is because you can't rub a lime on your
forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and
then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is
because you are now BLIND!
Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening jars:
Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non
slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to
do it.
And finally the most important tip for the holiday
season ...
Martha's way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover
wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?
