Married.

[parodyluvr75]

My husband has very bad spelling and an addiction to monopoly. He can't handle his scotch, after the 3rd one he jumps on tables, starts stripping and sings I'm a little teapot. Then he hits on all my girlfriends and pukes in plastic plant holders. He dresses in plaid pants with print shirts. He once got drunk and hit on my mother. When she told him to fuck off, he stole her wooden leg and tried to masturbate with it.

What should I do?

 

[Cathleen]

For the love of God, let him be the Top Hat!

 

[parodyluvr75]

Only if he gives my mother back her leg.

 

[Cathleen]

Yes, he really did cross the line with that one.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I thought so, but he won't give it up. I've tried cookies and cakes to bribe him, nothing works.

 

[lovetoread]

He sounds like a dream. :loves:

 

[parodyluvr75]

I'll give $2.00 bucks to whoever takes him off my hands and keeps him. There is an extra $5.00 if you recover the leg.

 

[Cathleen]

Cookies and cake would work for me easy.

You might have to sacrifice yourself for your mom's leg if he needs some...

 

[parodyluvr75]

I don't get it, it's like an ant trying to mate with a drain pipe.

 

[thirty]

Why did you choose the title 'married'?

You mean you are thinking to divorce him?

 

[doctor_insanus]

Make him a sammich.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Why did you choose the title 'married'?

You mean you are thinking to divorce him?

Wouldn't you, after he stole your mother's leg?

Make him a sammich.

He hates sandwiches and apple pie.

 

[thirty]

Wouldn't you, after he stole your mother's leg?


He hates sandwiches and apple pie.

I'm with you... sorry for your pain.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I'm with you... sorry for your pain.

I think he's in pain, splinters, you know.

 

[Dream59]

You need to tell him to get right and stop pulling your mothers leg.

 

[thør]

My husband has very bad spelling and an addiction to monopoly. He can't handle his scotch, after the 3rd one he jumps on tables, starts stripping and sings I'm a little teapot. Then he hits on all my girlfriends and pukes in plastic plant holders. He dresses in plaid pants with print shirts. He once got drunk and hit on my mother. When she told him to fuck off, he stole her wooden leg and tried to masturbate with it.

What should I do?

Either buy him some fishing gear and a boat or some golf clubs.

 

[Byron In Exile]

My husband has very bad spelling and an addiction to monopoly. He can't handle his scotch, after the 3rd one he jumps on tables, starts stripping and sings I'm a little teapot. Then he hits on all my girlfriends and pukes in plastic plant holders. He dresses in plaid pants with print shirts. He once got drunk and hit on my mother. When she told him to fuck off, he stole her wooden leg and tried to masturbate with it.

What should I do?

You ought to hit on me.

I'm single, no real "job," plus I have my drinking and drugging under control.

Also, I admire blue feet. They arouse me sexually.

 

[parodyluvr75]

You ought to hit on me.

I'm single, no real "job," plus I have my drinking and drugging under control.

Also, I admire blue feet. They arouse me sexually.

That's the sweetest offer I've gotten in forever.

Everybody likes my feet, they're my best feature.

 

[Super-Surprise]

http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/ca41811cb894cfed361a2b56cd64ee7e00e6d61f_m.jpg

 

[parodyluvr75]

Chimaera!

 

[trysail]

Bumper sticker spotted this week:

​

​

​

Driver Carries No Cash
He's Married​

​

 

[subdued_passion]

My husband has very bad spelling and an addiction to monopoly. He can't handle his scotch, after the 3rd one he jumps on tables, starts stripping and sings I'm a little teapot. Then he hits on all my girlfriends and pukes in plastic plant holders. He dresses in plaid pants with print shirts. He once got drunk and hit on my mother. When she told him to fuck off, he stole her wooden leg and tried to masturbate with it.

What should I do?

Reminded me of an old thread I made.


http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=47117418&postcount=11

 

[parodyluvr75]

Reminded me of an old thread I made.


http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=47117418&postcount=11

You've a dark twisted mind SP.

 

[subdued_passion]

You've a dark twisted mind SP.

Well I try. It's difficult to keep up with all your demands in Chat.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Well I try. It's difficult to keep up with all your demands in Chat.

I am an excitable bird.