Married male In california looking for married woman in calif. Is this wrong?

[Acalifguy_4u]

I am married and have been for 10 years. But as of late I have had the 7 yr itch so to say. The idea of finding someone to be discreet with is so interesting. I miss the passion of the first touch the first kiss. That heat of you cant wait to feel anothers touch.
Do others feel this way too? Or am I just way out of line. When I was first married I would never even look at another woman. Now I find myself wonder what that would feel like.

Do you think it is possible to have someone special that is a friend and a lover with whom you communcate with on the side?

 

[Acalifguy_4u]

Why wont any ladies respond? Am I just to ugly or something. I hate it when that happens

 

[Jimbosis]

I dont really get the Calif girls either. These kind of posts in FL really took off. You would think that the sexually liberated women here would get into this. But that certainly has not been the case. It seems as though the Midwest and Upperwest is good too. Good luck bud.

 

[Acalifguy_4u]

no kidding......

 

[Acalifguy_4u]

Are there no calif woman who want to make friends with a nice calif guy?????

 

[foxxxyred]

?

I dont really get the Calif girls either. These kind of posts in FL really took off. You would think that the sexually liberated women here would get into this. But that certainly has not been the case. It seems as though the Midwest and Upperwest is good too. Good luck bud.

What has being sexually liberated got to do with agreeing to have an affair with a married man?

 

[Jimbosis]

Sorry foxxxyred if you took this the wrong way...

All I meant was there seemed to be more women that are interested in outside affairs in other areas of the country. And it just seemed strange to me because in CA I would think there would be just as many women that would want to meet for casual sex as anywhere else, but that does not seem to be the case. I guess sexually liberated doesnt have to mean having casual sex, but wouldnt you agree that that could be taken as liberated?

 

[SexyChele]

Sorry, but as a California Gal

I just had to respond to this, and "defend" us California gals!

You know, a lot of times we have to deal with men from the rest of the country thinking we are "looney" and "loose". We are just like any other women out there - not better, not worse. And to think that Florida women or Midwest women are somehow "better" because they want to willingly engage in casual sex with a married is not indicative of sexual liberation or even having a healthier view of sexuality.

I really take exception to this idea.

A woman who cannot freely admit she will become emotionally involved with a man if sex is involved is not really in tune with who she is. And a woman who doesn't, or won't, admit that the man she may become involved with may become more emotionally involved than at first indicated, is a fool, plain and simple. This is not an indication of "sexual liberation" - that experiement was tried back in the 70s and 80s and proved to be a huge failure - for both men and women.

And Acalifguy_4u? I've already did the affair with a married man. It just doesn't work out for anyone involved. It destroys lives - most of all any children involved. Oh yes, I know, I know - it's all so strictly "casual". I got a newsflash for ya - as soon as sex enters the picture, it's just not "casual" anymore. Emotions get involved, people get hurt. Wives find out, and children wonder where "daddy" is.

I entered into such a "casual" relationship. I was willing to keep it "casual". He, on the other hand, decided he loved me more than his wife, but didn't want to leave her. She found out (of course, through his "fumblings" - I believe he actually wanted her to find out to get her jealous), and she then would have their children call me whenever he wasn't home to find out if their "daddy" was with me.

When I finally broke it off, this man considered me his "property" and didn't want the relationship to end. It took me a year and a half to finally rid myself of this "casual" relationship.

Get involved with a married man? Not on your life! That is simply the biggest mistake any woman - married or single - could ever possibly make in her life.

Either work it out with your wife, or get a divorce. Don't screw up some one else's life in the bargain - as that life just might be yours, your wife's, or your children. You willing to risk that?

 

[Jimbosis]

SexyChele, I am sorry to hear that your "casual encounter" did not work out. But that's not to say that someone else's wont. I have heard from a few others that getting a little on the side has been great for them. So I dont think you should tell someone else not to do it. But thats just my opinion.

And as for making a generalization of CA women, I dont think anyone said that CA women are loony or loose. In fact, from the lack of posts that this guy has received, its obviously quite the contrary. CA women are not loose at all.

It does not make you any "better or worse" if you were to have an affair. Unless you are saying that from a morality stand-point. And even then, thats only your opinion. You would have to be very naive to think that there are not married men and women in CA right this very second that are having casual sex. And I am sure some of them have had the same bad experience that you had and some of them are having an absolute fucking blast.

It seems to me that now you are over-generalizing women in CA by saying they could never have a good relationship with casual sex. Well, maybe I did over-generalize liberated women in my first statement, and I do apologize to all of you for that. But all I meant was that there was a lack of women in CA seeking casual sex.

Not that there is anything wrong with that of course ......

 

[Acalifguy_4u]

Well, I see that this has caused some grief for some of the members. I did not wish to bring anyone hard feelings or make anyone feel bad. So just forget about the post and unscribe to it. I see that I have no business feeling the way I do and I see that no one is happy with the post.

So I hope all thos out there that have read this will forgive me for my indiscretion
Sorry to all
Anthony

 

[Jimbosis]

No way Anthony....

This is the best part.....

LOL

 

[SexyChele]

Jim,
My point was not casual sex, but rather casual sex with a married man. This can be a big difference.

No, I'm most certainly not naive in thinking that there aren't hundreds, if not thousands, of married people carrying on affairs at this very moment. Trust me, when you become with a married man, you have many other friends who are experiencing the same thing.

The problem is that there are many men (and women as well), who are very appealing and attractive, and some one who has never been involved in an affair with a married person may fall into a trap that they never realized could happen. I've had friends tell me they wanted to get involved with a married man just to see what it was like. I know it's their choice, but each one has heard my story. If some one is going to make a decision, it should be based on both pros and cons.

Moralize? On a porn board? Hmm...interesting. No, if some one who is married wants to go out an have an affair, that's entirely up to them. I will not do it again, and have no qualms about stating my point of view. It is interesting, however, that when married men and women post here that they are looking for a "little on the side", discrete is the first word they use. If it were okay to have casual sex outside of marriage, and there were absolutely nothing wrong with it, why the need to be discrete? What would there be to hide?

Unless, there is something just a tad bit not quite right?

If Calif guy wants to have an affair, if he feels that is what he needs in his life right now, power to him and I hope he finds some one that can meet his needs. I don't know him, I don't know you, I can stand in judgment of no one.

But, in all the women that I've talked to who were involved with a married man over a period of time, not one of them had a lasting good memory. At the time? Yes. Heck, even I did - it was fun. But once the "fun" ends? It hurts, and it hurts more than a normal breakup. It's just an aspect that few want to realize.

But enough moralizing, if that is what it is.

And yes, when I travel to other states, and even outside of the country, as soon as I tell people I'm from California (especially Southern California) it is assumed that I'm willing to have sex with any man who will look at me. So the stereotype is out there.

And, yes, I used to engage in casual sex quite frequently. But, strange, as one ages, you begin to look for quality over quantity. Well, at least for me.....but that is only me.

 

[Jimbosis]

Well said SexyChele. I totally respect your opinion. Even though....

Just kidding.

 

[SexyChele]

Well said SexyChele. I totally respect your opinion. Even though....

Just kidding.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, I see that this has caused some grief for some of the members. I did not wish to bring anyone hard feelings or make anyone feel bad. So just forget about the post and unscribe to it. I see that I have no business feeling the way I do and I see that no one is happy with the post.

So I hope all thos out there that have read this will forgive me for my indiscretion
Sorry to all
Anthony

I do owe you an apology. I "highjacked" your thread, and that is something I don't like having done to me. Forgive me. And forgive my seemingly judgemental attitude. I do sincerely hope you find whatever it is that you feel will make your life happy.

Life is too damned short to worry about what people you don't know (me, for instance) think or feel.

 

[Jimbosis]

Well ....

Now that we have that straightened out SexyChele -

Do you wanta go out?????