married affair- need a confidant
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double16in
Really Experienced
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- Feb 16, 2001
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Forbidden love
I sincerely hope you enjoy a hot, throbbing, screaming orgasm with your co-worker when you finally surrender to that incessant burning desire you have for him! I would, however, suggest: make sure you can emotionally separate sex from love....the quickest way to kill your marriage is to fall in love with your lover. Your husband will quickly realize what's going on. Also, be careful...co-workers can have loose lips, and some bosses won't tolerate sex in the office (especially if he has the hots for you, too!). There's an old Indian saying...don't s*** too close to your tepee.
Good luck...I hope it's everything you want it to be...if you'd like to chat more...email me at double16in@aol.com
I sincerely hope you enjoy a hot, throbbing, screaming orgasm with your co-worker when you finally surrender to that incessant burning desire you have for him! I would, however, suggest: make sure you can emotionally separate sex from love....the quickest way to kill your marriage is to fall in love with your lover. Your husband will quickly realize what's going on. Also, be careful...co-workers can have loose lips, and some bosses won't tolerate sex in the office (especially if he has the hots for you, too!). There's an old Indian saying...don't s*** too close to your tepee.
Good luck...I hope it's everything you want it to be...if you'd like to chat more...email me at double16in@aol.com
TheCyberPoet
Really Really Experienced
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- Jan 11, 2001
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- 359
Seeking an affair w/ a coworker?
Ok, having experienced the 'husband role' in this same scenario, here is some of the advice I can give you (not to disuade you, but coping strategies that may greatly improve the long term results). Oh, and read the book "The Ethical Slut" before you do anything else:
First, think about how you will think about yourself afterwards -- is it just sex? What are you getting and how will it affect your self-perception if it goes on for months? My gf played around with a coworker for several months in the beginning of 2000. By the end of 2000, the dissonance between what she had become in her mind (a 'dishonest, cheating slut'-- her words, not mine) and what she thought she was (ideal partner, loving gf, good girl), was giving her physical ailments that required a psychologist to unravel. The phrase Cognitive Dissonance is appropriate here (look it up).
Second, why a coworker? Of all the people you could pick, this is inevitably the worst choice there is. If things don't work out well, you will still be around him (her?) frequently, and uncomfortable, to the point that it will make you stressed and dislike your job. If, on the other hand, things work out real well, then you risk losing your job and getting blackballed elsewhere for being the company slut... such things go from just a one-time thing in a motel to ass-grabbing and bragging back in the office, to fooling around on work time. Bad career move.
Third, make sure both you and he (she?) get full-spectrum STD/HIV/AIDS tests first, and insist on actually seeing his (her?) results. Then get on the pill and buy condoms. If you bring something home, you will regret it to the day you die, especially if that something is an STD or a baby that isn't your husband's.
Fourth. Never, ever, ever tell your husband if this comes to pass, unless you tell him before it happens. Go out of your way to never mention this coworker, or anything about him what-so-ever. My gf told me long after the fact (I already knew, but ignored it adequetly), and all it did was convert some of her guilt into my a lot of my pain -- without relieving much of her internal turmoils. Not a good thing for the relationship, and one of the primary reasons that I am searching on this and other boards for a new special somebody. I wouldn't have seriously minded if she had told me up front that she really wanted to bone his brains out and I could have arranged it on terms that I could deal with. But the denial at first, then later the revelation, caused a breaking of trust that can never be undone. And it's not that she bonked him (that's fine, whatever, they flapped their loins like dying fish, not a biggie), it's that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on with her.
Here's a scary statistic: 94% of all people who suspect that their spouse is cheating on them are in fact, correct. That's 19 out of each 20 people who suspect are right.
So, how can you do it differently? Well, convince your husband to go with you to an on-premise sex club, three times. The first time to just visit, the second time to fool around and perhaps play with others a little, and the third time to screw like rabbits with anyone/everyone, and make sure the coworker is there the third time.
Or, flat out, tell your husband that you want this coworker, and that you want him to be a part of it, and make a three-way, with you as the monkey in the middle, so it isn't a threat to your relationship.
Or, finally, tell him that you want to, then after judging his reaction a week later -- after the steam has blown off -- tell him you will forego it just for him, because you love him. If he really loves you, he might arrange it anyway
=-= Sire M
Ok, having experienced the 'husband role' in this same scenario, here is some of the advice I can give you (not to disuade you, but coping strategies that may greatly improve the long term results). Oh, and read the book "The Ethical Slut" before you do anything else:
First, think about how you will think about yourself afterwards -- is it just sex? What are you getting and how will it affect your self-perception if it goes on for months? My gf played around with a coworker for several months in the beginning of 2000. By the end of 2000, the dissonance between what she had become in her mind (a 'dishonest, cheating slut'-- her words, not mine) and what she thought she was (ideal partner, loving gf, good girl), was giving her physical ailments that required a psychologist to unravel. The phrase Cognitive Dissonance is appropriate here (look it up).
Second, why a coworker? Of all the people you could pick, this is inevitably the worst choice there is. If things don't work out well, you will still be around him (her?) frequently, and uncomfortable, to the point that it will make you stressed and dislike your job. If, on the other hand, things work out real well, then you risk losing your job and getting blackballed elsewhere for being the company slut... such things go from just a one-time thing in a motel to ass-grabbing and bragging back in the office, to fooling around on work time. Bad career move.
Third, make sure both you and he (she?) get full-spectrum STD/HIV/AIDS tests first, and insist on actually seeing his (her?) results. Then get on the pill and buy condoms. If you bring something home, you will regret it to the day you die, especially if that something is an STD or a baby that isn't your husband's.
Fourth. Never, ever, ever tell your husband if this comes to pass, unless you tell him before it happens. Go out of your way to never mention this coworker, or anything about him what-so-ever. My gf told me long after the fact (I already knew, but ignored it adequetly), and all it did was convert some of her guilt into my a lot of my pain -- without relieving much of her internal turmoils. Not a good thing for the relationship, and one of the primary reasons that I am searching on this and other boards for a new special somebody. I wouldn't have seriously minded if she had told me up front that she really wanted to bone his brains out and I could have arranged it on terms that I could deal with. But the denial at first, then later the revelation, caused a breaking of trust that can never be undone. And it's not that she bonked him (that's fine, whatever, they flapped their loins like dying fish, not a biggie), it's that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on with her.
Here's a scary statistic: 94% of all people who suspect that their spouse is cheating on them are in fact, correct. That's 19 out of each 20 people who suspect are right.
So, how can you do it differently? Well, convince your husband to go with you to an on-premise sex club, three times. The first time to just visit, the second time to fool around and perhaps play with others a little, and the third time to screw like rabbits with anyone/everyone, and make sure the coworker is there the third time.
Or, flat out, tell your husband that you want this coworker, and that you want him to be a part of it, and make a three-way, with you as the monkey in the middle, so it isn't a threat to your relationship.
Or, finally, tell him that you want to, then after judging his reaction a week later -- after the steam has blown off -- tell him you will forego it just for him, because you love him. If he really loves you, he might arrange it anyway
=-= Sire M
Are you ready to become the woman you are
I have had affairs with several married women. Typically the sex is fabulous and then the relationship turns into one of long term affection that can last a lifetime. I went to couples counseling with my girlfriend in order to figure out how to work things out so we could have the things we wanted and still stayed married to our spouses. This led to a little shift in my perception of what I was really after which was the compassion that this kind of relatioinship gives without the passion. The affairs I have had have been very fulfilling and have led to major positive changes in my life but each one had been very difficult. I would definetly suggest that getting into some kind of counseling would be a very good idea. This will lead to you being able to talk about this without risking telling someone who might judge you or later be indiscreet. There are huge numbers of people who enjoy secondary relationships without their spouses knowing about them some include sex and some do not.
The relationship i am in now is really nice we share things about work and help each other out in our carreer aspirations but we limit our sexual contact and realize that at any given moment we might have to end our situation abruptly. But I got to tell you she is one nice little fuck and the times we do have together are blissfully orgasmic and motivate the hell out of me to do better in everything I do.
I have had affairs with several married women. Typically the sex is fabulous and then the relationship turns into one of long term affection that can last a lifetime. I went to couples counseling with my girlfriend in order to figure out how to work things out so we could have the things we wanted and still stayed married to our spouses. This led to a little shift in my perception of what I was really after which was the compassion that this kind of relatioinship gives without the passion. The affairs I have had have been very fulfilling and have led to major positive changes in my life but each one had been very difficult. I would definetly suggest that getting into some kind of counseling would be a very good idea. This will lead to you being able to talk about this without risking telling someone who might judge you or later be indiscreet. There are huge numbers of people who enjoy secondary relationships without their spouses knowing about them some include sex and some do not.
The relationship i am in now is really nice we share things about work and help each other out in our carreer aspirations but we limit our sexual contact and realize that at any given moment we might have to end our situation abruptly. But I got to tell you she is one nice little fuck and the times we do have together are blissfully orgasmic and motivate the hell out of me to do better in everything I do.
Cratchit
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 20, 2005
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mrtnmoon said:
i will give you my opinion. because they are losers who wish for a reality that wont happen. its like those guys who do it with a female who has a pic thread. if you see she hasnt posted anything, let alone a pic, in three months, shouldnt that be a hint that she isnt coming back. i would think, but sure enough, people post in there that they "miss" them. its really quite sad
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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- Apr 27, 2004
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- 13,442
robertjhu said:
If you're going to go as far as go to counseling with your mistress, why not try to work an agreement out with your wife, or leave her? If the marriage is bad enough that you feel the need to cheat constantly, wouldn't it be more fair to everyone to just get out?
I honestly don't get it.
PAfireguy
Really Really Experienced
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- Sep 20, 2005
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- 452
2001
Lets all remember that the origional post if from 2001, I would assume the affiar either happened or didnt happen by now or she got divoreced and is married to the one she had the affair with. Or has moved on to a 2nd or 2rd affair by now.
Lets all remember that the origional post if from 2001, I would assume the affiar either happened or didnt happen by now or she got divoreced and is married to the one she had the affair with. Or has moved on to a 2nd or 2rd affair by now.
