Manners.

[Quoll]

Why is it so hard for people to exhibit common courtesy*?.

What can be done about it?

What kind of ill manners bring you to despair.









* granted, there are at times, extenuating circumstance and outside influences.





This is open for general discussion so please don't be offended if I don't actually participate.

 

[danigrl84]

Two of my biggest pet peeves: nose pickers and poeple who chew with their mouths open....makes me want to vomit.

 

[Quoll]

Two of my biggest pet peeves: nose pickers and poeple who chew with their mouths open....makes me want to vomit.

Particularly if they combine the two.

I had an old boss who used to eat like that, it was like watching a tumble dryer with the door open.

 

[Luna_Bella]

Gum chewers, the "cow style" ones. I admit I chew gum more often then I should but I keep my mouth shut while doing it!!!

or believe it or not, big bellied people picking their belly buttons in public, even saw one smelling his finger after IMO, if you have to see if it smelled you should have showered absolutely classless and disgusting.

 

[jayce1066]

People dropping lit cigarette butts with never a second thought.

 

[aspiringDOM]

(1) Not saying please, would you, do you mind, or thank you. I'm not your damn servant so if you want it you'd better ask me to do it and thank me when I'm done.

(2) Not helping someone with something simple ... holding a door, picking up something they dropped, etc

(3) Cellphones. Other than the person at the other end, no one wants to hear your conversation, use your inside voice.

 

[nightfisher]

(3) Cellphones. Other than the person at the other end, no one wants to hear your conversation, use your inside voice.

This is probably my biggest peeve. Between that and talking during a show.
If you combine the 2, may your deity have mercy because I will not.

 

[silverwhisper]

quoll queried:
why is it so hard for people to exhibit common courtesy?

i don't think it's that people find it hard, so much as they simply don't think. all those idiots inflicting their mobile phone conversations on everybody in the area aren't being rude on purpose as a general rule: they just don't realize just how fucking rude and self-centered they're being.

quoll queried:
what can be done about it?

if i think someone's being particularly rude and it's someone i know, i will let them know--i would hope my friends would do the same for me.

quoll queried:
what kind of ill manners bring you to despair.

people inflicting their mobile phone conversations on everybody around them--or worse, walkie-talkie mode. that drives me berserk. i don't know why mobile phone carriers encourage the practice.

ed

 

[qrayze]

When you go thru the trouble of planning a girl's night out and one girlfriend spends the whole night texting to her bf....and still doesn't stop when you point out how rude she's being.

 

[bobsgirl]

People dropping lit cigarette butts with never a second thought.

Or throwing a still burning cigarette butt out a car window. One landed in my car, wedged between the seat and me... It burned a hole in the seat upholstery and worse, burned me!

It absolutely infuriates me when someone does that.

 

[fuckmeat]

I work in a pub, so I could pontificate about common courtesy all day long. It's often assumed that because I'm young and poorly paid, I must be mentally retarded. Then there's masturbatory rudeness; when people are rude and patronising because it makes them feel superior and important.

Also, I work in a GLBT friendly bar and while there are loads of people who are lovely, there are some people of alternate orientations who walk around with a chip on both shoulders. I really dislike people with a victim mentality, who will play their minority card unfairly. One regular customer works at the local post office and constantly goes on about various 'homophobic' incidents. Rather than being ostracised for being gay, reading between the lines it's clear to see that he's isolated himself by being annoying, militant and far too easily offended.

Other petty grievances include...

1) Indulgent/neglectful parents who are utterly oblivious to how their unruly child is behaving.
2) People who boom at the tops of their voices when they're less than a spit from one another.
3) Teenagers who play monotonous dance music through speakers on their phones instead of through earphones.
4) People who wave money or snap their fingers for service, as though I'm blind and stupid.
5) People who treat the bar as a litter bin and dump rubbish from their handbag on the table.
6) People who blow their nose on napkins and then leave them for me to clear away.

There are more, plenty more but I'll leave it there for now.

 

[blueberree]

There are just a few

People who say nothing when I've held the door open for them. They glide through as if it is their due and my duty.

Open mouth chewers bring a great deal of despair as well as an image that is harder to erase from my memory than a bloody scene in a horror movie.

Discussion of bowel habits

Shoppers who park their cart in the middle of the aisle so that you cannot move past them.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Why is it so hard for people to exhibit common courtesy*?

Because they're not raised with it like older generations typically were.

What can be done about it?

Walk up and smack them upside the head!

What kind of ill manners bring you to despair.

A lack of regard for anything past the nose on the offenders face. A few things more specific, illiterate speech, text-speak in a forum environment, eating with mouth open.

Runners up - Shoppers in general, particularly those who leave unattended shopping carts in the middle of aisle ways, or the slowest people taking up the most room so that you can't get around them, and people who can't pass on the left like civilized folks, they walk right into your face, then try to go to your right or walk down the right side of an aisle against traffic.

I could go on, but then someone would have to walk up and smack me upside of the head!

 

[Quoll]

All of the above.
The aisle end or doorway chatters, ( I understand you may not have seen your old school friend, gigolo, pimp, mechanic, dominatrix for quite a while and can't wait to catch up (fuck, buy drugs, knee in the crotch or get down on all fours and bark like a dog) but please just take a few steps to the side rather than glare at the "rude" people trying to get past you.

This one goes out to the How To question askers;
There are innumerable threads where this occurs.

Say thank you, you ignorant fuckers, or at least acknowledge their replies (if you are going to do that though, extend yourself just a little bit and say thanks anyway), no one here gets paid to offer advice or to spend considerable time researching your problem, they do it because they are considerate people.

It also helps others reading the replies to know whether the advice given is efficacious or not.

Imagine leaving a package for someone and not knowing whether they received it or if they did, not knowing whether it did the required job or not.
You might be inclined not to help them next time they ask for a favour.

Thank you.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Turn Signals!!! For the love of God its right there on your steering wheel. How hard is it to move your had 3 inches and flip the damned thing on??? This has to be my biggest pet peeve because around here NOONE uses em. The biggest offender...my wife! Arrgghhh.

 

[ArchLady03]

I thank my mom and grandparents everyday for forcing manners down my throat as a child. It's amazing how far a set of good manners can get you, especially when people aren't expecting it from a girl my age

Some of my biggest manner pet peeves are
1. Not saying "thank you", "you're welcome," or "please"
2. Not using a turn signal
3. Not shutting off your cell phone at the movies / a show

Those three just drive me up a wall

 

[fire_breeze]

Blatant rudeness.

People disguising rudeness by claiming that they are just being honest. Bullshit. You can be honest, completely so and without sugar-coating, and still be polite.

And variants thereof. I'm positively convinced that many of life's problem can be solved by exercising a little courtesy, compassion and politeness with everyone

 

[DarkBee]

People who try to ride the subway for free, and try to pass right behind you through the gate. I paid for the damn ride, you should do too and I won't pay for you, so step back!

 

[smj4740]

.........................

 

[bailadora]

This one REALLY gets me: those who try to cut the traffic line/que. WTF? Wait your damn turn like everyone else!

Because they're not raised with it like older generations typically were.

I don't know 'bout that. I think some just don't give a shit.

Walk up and smack them upside the head!

Oh, can I? Please, please please?

People disguising rudeness by claiming that they are just being honest. Bullshit. You can be honest, completely so and without sugar-coating, and still be polite.

Preach it, girl, preach it! I've a cousin whose favorite phrase is, "I'm just telling it like it is." And I retort with, "No - you're acting like a donkey!"

 

[SweetErika]

This one REALLY gets me: those who try to cut the traffic line/que. WTF? Wait your damn turn like everyone else!

I hate that, too. But then I try to remember that sometimes I'm forced to cut for a legit reason, like I'm unfamiliar with the area or didn't realize I needed to get over sooner or I have to pee so bad that I really can't afford to wait in a 10 minute line to exit the freeway or whatever. In those situations, I'm so grateful for the person who lets me in that I try to return the favor at least twice when it's clear someone isn't cutting just to be an entitled asshole.

What gets me then is when I do let the person in or do something similarly nice, and they don't even bother to acknowledge my courtesy with a wave. If I'm clearly going out of my way to help you out, the least you could do is let me know you recognize and appreciate that.

I also want people to help me avoid hitting them by using their turn signals and headlights correctly. I'm a firm believer in using headlights at all hours because cars have a way of blending in with the background here. Oh yeah, and pedestrians wearing dark colors on the side of the street and/or jaywalking on busy streets are just asking for it, too.

 

[fire_breeze]

I also want people to help me avoid hitting them by using their turn signals and headlights correctly. I'm a firm believer in using headlights at all hours because cars have a way of blending in with the background here. Oh yeah, and pedestrians wearing dark colors on the side of the street and/or jaywalking on busy streets are just asking for it, too.

I'm very guilty of this . I'm a queen of jaywalking, although I do try not to be stupid about it; however, point very well taken, and thank you for pointing out this habit from a driver's perspective .

Preach it, girl, preach it! I've a cousin whose favorite phrase is, "I'm just telling it like it is." And I retort with, "No - you're acting like a donkey!"

Amen, sister! I've always wondered what would happen if someone would return the favour and 'tell it like it is'...

 

[1sickbastard]

Manners and courtesy came from a time in history when personal violence was rampant. Insults to one's personal dignity or honor were not tolerated. Those who could not or would not exhibit good manners and common courtesy were often killed, either outright by the offended party, or later in a duel, it the offender was considered a 'Man of Worth'. Women who acted 'shamefully' or dishonored their families might be sent to a nunnery, killed outright, or banished from the home.

Even older, but still living generations, grew up in a time when lack of manners would oftern get you a punch in the face. Pain is an excellent teacher.

I'm not advocating personal violence, but it is nice to imagine a world where you could bitch-slap some jerk yakking on their cell phone, or some parent(s) who allow their children to run amuck in public or whatever. The down side is that I would be subjected to the same treatment. Which means I learn to use good manners and common courtesy, or become the biggest baddest sumbitch around so no one would dare. Fun to imagine, but not terribly appealing as a reality.

Instead, I'm not afraid to call bullshit on an idiot, or use a gently, but pointed reminder to someone that they are, in fact, not the only person on the planet, and whatever they happen to be doing at the time is rude. What can I say? I like to use my words!

 

[LaurahW]

I work in a pub, so I could pontificate about common courtesy all day long. It's often assumed that because I'm young and poorly paid, I must be mentally retarded. Then there's masturbatory rudeness; when people are rude and patronising because it makes them feel superior and important.

Also, I work in a GLBT friendly bar and while there are loads of people who are lovely, there are some people of alternate orientations who walk around with a chip on both shoulders. I really dislike people with a victim mentality, who will play their minority card unfairly. One regular customer works at the local post office and constantly goes on about various 'homophobic' incidents. Rather than being ostracised for being gay, reading between the lines it's clear to see that he's isolated himself by being annoying, militant and far too easily offended.

Other petty grievances include...

1) Indulgent/neglectful parents who are utterly oblivious to how their unruly child is behaving.
2) People who boom at the tops of their voices when they're less than a spit from one another.
3) Teenagers who play monotonous dance music through speakers on their phones instead of through earphones.
4) People who wave money or snap their fingers for service, as though I'm blind and stupid.
5) People who treat the bar as a litter bin and dump rubbish from their handbag on the table.
6) People who blow their nose on napkins and then leave them for me to clear away.

There are more, plenty more but I'll leave it there for now.

I am new to this part of the Lit forums, but please indulge me for a minute. I speak to the first item on your list here... I am the youngest of seven, and by the time I was 2 my parents could take us ANYWHERE because we KNEW better. Having been raised that way by a woman who wielded The Fastest Wooden Spoon in the West (Ma would Never hurt her hand on one of us!!), and living so close to her when my own children were small they were raised with what we Still term "Grandma Manners". I waited tables for a living for many years, and still regret not being able to tell someone's obnoxious children to sit down and behave.
My apologies for stepping in where not wanted if that is needed, and thank you all for such a great thread.

 

[bailadora]

I hate that, too. But then I try to remember that sometimes I'm forced to cut for a legit reason, like I'm unfamiliar with the area or didn't realize I needed to get over sooner or I have to pee so bad that I really can't afford to wait in a 10 minute line to exit the freeway or whatever. In those situations, I'm so grateful for the person who lets me in that I try to return the favor at least twice when it's clear someone isn't cutting just to be an entitled asshole.

Now see, I don't mind letting in an individual car or two, but what I'm talking about is when you have a whole slew of cars gumming up the works in the next lane over because the exit lane is backed up to kingdom come. One particular interchange in my city is notorious for this, especially during rush hour. I avoid it like the plague specifically because of all the people who don't think they should have to wait.

What gets me then is when I do let the person in or do something similarly nice, and they don't even bother to acknowledge my courtesy with a wave. If I'm clearly going out of my way to help you out, the least you could do is let me know you recognize and appreciate that.

*nod, nod* What's up with that? If someone does something nice for you, acknowledge it, dammit!

Amen, sister! I've always wondered what would happen if someone would return the favour and 'tell it like it is'...

Since you asked, I've found that some of 'em can't handle what they dish out and get all bent out of shape with the hurt feelings/sensibilities. Makes no sense what-so-ever to me. As a good friend of mine likes to say, "Don't start none, won't be none!"