Male, UK (NI), looking to chat

[necroerotica]

Male, 35, Belfast, N. Ireland.

Basically, I’m looking for ladies to chat to – messenger, email or txt.

Long story short, I’ve come out of a 10 year relationship and I want to build some confidence again.

What I’m NOT looking for –
- someone to hook up with for sex. Well, yes I am, but just not though this. If that makes any sense.
- Any sort of romantic relationship. I just don’t have that in me atm.

What I’m looking for –
- Ladies to chat to with a sense of humour. And possibly a collection of dirty jokes.

I don’t have a problem with exchanging pictures or ‘naughty talk’, but that’s NOT A REQUIREMENT.


It’s kinda difficult to write this without sounding like a perv I think, but I hope I’ve come across the way I intended.


Apart from that, well, be well I guess and thanks for looking

 

[necroerotica]

Just a friendly little \bump before the weekend.

Have fun folks, and I'll see you in the funny papers.....

 

[necroerotica]

The weekend's almost over, and one nice lady has responded - which I would call a success

But here's another friendly little bump, and a parting thought -


How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

About 700 pounds. Compared to beavers, groundhogs/woodchucks are not adept at moving timber, although some will chew wood. (At Cornell, woodchucks that gnaw their wooden nest boxes are given scraps of 2-by-4 lumber.) A wildlife biologist once measured the inside volume of a typical woodchuck burrow and estimated that -- if wood filled the hole instead of dirt -- the industrious animal would have chucked about 700 pounds' worth.

 

[necroerotica]

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_wood_could_a_woodchuck_chuck_if_a_woodchuck_could_chuck_wood

WikiAnswers expands on the afore mentioned figures though, and notes that:

Some say it depends on three factors:

• The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.
  
• The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.
  
• The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.

 

[necroerotica]

A looser analysis of the question would also include -

• He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  
• If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
  
• A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  
• A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  
• If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
  
• If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  
• It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
  
• One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
  
• It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

 

[necroerotica]

• Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
  
• It depends on how good his dentures are!
  
• A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.
  
• About 5.72 fluid litres of wood
  
• About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.
  
• Um....... 23????
  
• Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.
  
• If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.