Male slave seeking a home with a Dominant Female

[grayskies11]

Hi. Thanks for stopping by and taking interest in my ad. I don't think most slaves or submissive's seeking a FLR with a Dominant woman would post as I am about to post and most likely I don't think most Dominant women are looking for a guy like my self either. But can't I just be my self and be honest. Why is it in this world that every one has to act and appear as if everything is perfect and no one is unhappy? And why if you say you have a fault or problem people automatically x you out. So I am just gonna throw it out there about me the best I know how and see if I can find someone who would like, want and understand me. I am a double minded person, I have always be this way- why I don't know. Earlier in my life the hope and desire to get married have kids go to work and come home and be a family man didn't work or happen for me as I Imagined in my mind. I got in a lot of trouble at a young age but after getting out of that. I prospered and done well for years. I never realized the purpose in life at a young age and growing into years that purpose in life was to learn a trade to have a career and to change as new technology changed. So yes I am really paying the price now with no education, trade, skills or career. So I tried a lot of different in life though but I failed and lost everything time after time.. I am more of a loner now with low self esteem. I don't have much of a personality either, I have thought about alot of things to do to support my self. Mostly I have supported my self by working in Manufacturing but with no skills and ect I never advanced but rather remained as a person on the floor with a one set job, So many years ago I became interested in bdsm. I never really learned about it though I just here and there got a chance to get with someone and try a few things. But once I did get with a woman who was into that as well and over a period of time I engaged in a few different kinds scerino's . Later in my life after splitting up with her I had to start over in life with nothing and it was hard and hard as well to cope with knowing I lost so much. But as I got a early break in starting over and as a lot of time had passed by all of a sudden my past involvement with bdsm in the past came to light and it really ruined my life, I think more than I felt ruined in the past with all the loss. I suffered a lot of shame which resulted in messing me up pretty good mentally and emotionally. I pretty much stopped all the bdsm stuff after that. But over the past 4 years of my life the past involvement with that has ruined my life. I have lost job after job and apartment after apartment. Just several months ago my life got tripped up again. Since then I haven't found a job because of a bad work history and have again lost my savings and Apartment. I tried every where to get a job but no one is having any mercy on me. I always came back before it took time and by that time I had lost everything, I feel so down and out I pretty much have lost every thing again waiting with no one having mercy or understanding or taking my side. I don't feel like I am gonna make it this time. I acknowledge two battles going on inside of my mind and neither one seems to win the battle. I am unhappy and tormented deep down inside feeling this going on in my mind. One part of me wants to be a good person and live a vanilla life, and the other wants me to give into the fantasy's and lust's of bdsm. So that's me in a nut shell so to speak. I feel like I don't fit into society and I am looking for a place to fit into to find happiness.. So If by chance their might be someone out there that understands me or has interest's in me. Feel free to reply or contact me.