Male "rape" - yes, he wanted it!

[Guest]

Ok, I'm a feedback whore, so I thought I'd ask for feedback on a new story of mine that was posted today.

It's a nonconsent/reluctance piece, but is quite different from what I normally write. Not in tone, or even content, but in the dynamics of the relationship of the people involved. Most of my stuff is written from a sub fem POV. This one is written from a Domme fem POV, where she gets really bad on a man's ass.

I dunno why, but I find something incredibly erotic in a woman taking a man.

Ok, so... did it work for you? Did you understand what she is? Did you "get" the set up?

I want to thank Impressive here, for giving me the spark of an idea to use a mugging as a tool in the story (via her "Voices" challenge thread in the AH - check it out! Although, I have now given away which piece was mine. ). And, also, thanks to my wonderful friend, Lewdandlicentious, for his wickedly evil ideas.

I am now considering writing many more stories using the female m/c in this story, all along a similar theme. Something has "piqued" my interest.

Anyway, have at it! Please let me know what you think.

The Mugging

Thanks, in advance!

Lou

 

[msboy8]

Thanks Lou

I R.V.C.'d your story. Thanks for a great story from a different point of view. I especially liked the end. (shhhhh I won't tell, hehehe)

 

[Guest]

I R.V.C.'d your story. Thanks for a great story from a different point of view. I especially liked the end. (shhhhh I won't tell, hehehe)

msboy, thank you! Thank you so much. It's bloody good to hear the story "worked", particularly the ending. Yep, you got it!

Great comments, cheers mate!

Lou

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Even with the warning it wasn't quite what I expected. That said, it was fast paced and easy to stay in. Not at all what I am used to from you, but very good. The twist at the end took it to another level.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

Even with the warning it wasn't quite what I expected. That said, it was fast paced and easy to stay in. Not at all what I am used to from you, but very good. The twist at the end took it to another level.

-Colly

Thanks, Colly. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and give me your thoughts. You are someone who knows my writing pretty well, and you're right, that's was me writing out of my "box" (and I don't mean that in a rude way. ). However, and I know it's the same with you, too, I do like to experiment and push myself somewhat. I enjoyed writing it and will definitely write more along a similar theme.

Your last sentence meant a lot. Thanks.

Lou

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thanks, Colly. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and give me your thoughts. You are someone who knows my writing pretty well, and you're right, that's was me writing out of my "box" (and I don't mean that in a rude way. ). However, and I know it's the same with you, too, I do like to experiment and push myself somewhat. I enjoyed writing it and will definitely write more along a similar theme.

Your last sentence meant a lot. Thanks.

Lou

A plot twist is a vainglorious device if you are so enamoured of it you can't help but drop hints in such profusion people see it coming. You said enough, without saying too much, and got that slapping the head kind of homer simpson "Doh" reaction. It's in the subtlety where a plot twist can elevate a story and you handled it with aplomb. I'm really impressed with it

 

[WickedEve]

I usually read the poetry here, and not many stories, but I did check this one out. I do appreciate the short stories that are well written. This is quite good. I knew there had to be a twist to the ending since he submitted so easily to her. There is one typo: "she dropped the tube to the floor."
I can see a chapter two in the future. Is there a second chapter? I'd like to know more about the services she offers.

 

[Softouch911]

Hey, Lou, I think this story is the most fun to read of any of yours ... and I don't mean it's better.

It was more fun because I had my expectations all set up by your other stories, so I wasn't ready for what was happening until the very end, though you left all the clues right where I could find 'em. Nice work!

And the little twist near the beginning where she turns the tables on him is the first surprise and really should (if I was paying attention, but I have some trouble with that (ask my soph. geometry teacher)) make it clear what's going on.

Now, see, you've got a great shtick going -- if you can vary the role of the narrator in that wide range you've set up, no one will ever know what's up.

Thanks for the fun, sweetie.


Softie -- never knows what's happening

 

[PAUL C]

Well done.

I thought you did a very good job with this story.

Fast paced and interesting plot twists.

Well done.

 

[Guest]

A plot twist is a vainglorious device if you are so enamoured of it you can't help but drop hints in such profusion people see it coming. You said enough, without saying too much, and got that slapping the head kind of homer simpson "Doh" reaction. It's in the subtlety where a plot twist can elevate a story and you handled it with aplomb. I'm really impressed with it

Thanks again, Colly. I write quite a lot of plot twists into my novels, but hadn't tried to do something similar with such a short short before. Bloody great to hear I pulled it off.

 

[Guest]

I usually read the poetry here, and not many stories, but I did check this one out. I do appreciate the short stories that are well written. This is quite good. I knew there had to be a twist to the ending since he submitted so easily to her. There is one typo: "she dropped the tube to the floor."
I can see a chapter two in the future. Is there a second chapter? I'd like to know more about the services she offers.

Eve, thank you.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this and leave me your thoughts. Yes, I had someone else tell me that they realised there must be something in the ending, because of the way he said, "Yes, Miss," to her so readily.

Cheers for spotting the typo. I guess I forgot for a moment that I was writing a scene set outdoors.

And, yep, I'm writing a second chapter right now. I think I can have a lot of fun writing about her encounters with other clients.

Lou

 

[Guest]

Hey, Lou, I think this story is the most fun to read of any of yours ... and I don't mean it's better.

It was more fun because I had my expectations all set up by your other stories, so I wasn't ready for what was happening until the very end, though you left all the clues right where I could find 'em. Nice work!

And the little twist near the beginning where she turns the tables on him is the first surprise and really should (if I was paying attention, but I have some trouble with that (ask my soph. geometry teacher)) make it clear what's going on.

Now, see, you've got a great shtick going -- if you can vary the role of the narrator in that wide range you've set up, no one will ever know what's up.

Thanks for the fun, sweetie.


Softie -- never knows what's happening

Hi Softie!

Thanks for your very enthusiastic comments. It is a great feeling to know that a reader has enjoyed one of my stories in such a way.

Yes, this is very different from my other stories, and is exactly why I asked the specific questions I did. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me such comprehensive feedback, and not only here.

Lou

 

[Guest]

I thought you did a very good job with this story.

Fast paced and interesting plot twists.

Well done.

Thanks, Paul!

Much appreciated.

Lou

 

[Goldeniangel]

LOVED IT!
so unique! and for some reason, the whole idea of a guy taking it up the butt in a forceful way really turns me on too despite the fact that i also write mostly from a female submissive point of view! who knows what the mystery is there =)

seriously though, really great! i'm so glad you posted it on the board! and a GREAT way to get feedback! lol =)
*hugs*
angel

 

[Guest]

LOVED IT!
so unique! and for some reason, the whole idea of a guy taking it up the butt in a forceful way really turns me on too despite the fact that i also write mostly from a female submissive point of view! who knows what the mystery is there =)

seriously though, really great! i'm so glad you posted it on the board! and a GREAT way to get feedback! lol =)
*hugs*
angel

WOW! Thank you, Angel.

Yes, I don't quite understand why it turns me on so much, either. Maybe because I, myself, love to be taken by force, and find the thought of a woman over-powering a man in such a way even more erotic. As you said, though, who knows!

You're right, it is a wonderful way to get feedback. Please do let me know if you ever write any male-rape stuff.

Thanks, again!

Lou

 

[espeteroh]

The ending's the savior. I was reluctant to read but am glad I did. I was raped at 15 by a man, a stranger, and being male that used to be a painful thing now it's just a possible raw nerve. To rid myself of the "demons" I wrote a story about the rape years ago but with it being man raping a woman. I've never posted it anywhere, even though it was written 15 years ago and only a few have read it. Maybe I'll post it here after seeing what you wrote. Thank you for your submission. It's helpful.