Male or Female POV in Erotica - Preferences?

[stellataylor]

Do you prefer to read erotica - particularly the sex scenes - from a male or female perspective? Which do you find hotter, and why?

I'm curious to see if women generally tend to prefer reading from a female perspective, and vice versa.

Personally, I have a slight preference for reading erotica from a male POV (as a female reader). I just think it's hotter (and more interesting) to get inside a male character's head in erotica, since I obviously have no experience in being a man, haha.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

It's an interesting question.
I don't think I have a preference for one gender's POV over the other. What draws me in is good, vivid descriptions of sesations and reactions. Whether they're from male vs female or what's being done to who, I prefer stories that paint a picture, that use a variety of words to describe things, and that don't just jump to the end. I guess those are pretty much universal preferences in reading erotica.

When I have read well written stories from the male perspective, that do include vivid descriptions of what the man is feeling and enjoying in his partner's reactions I think they're interesting, because it's not something I can experience personally. But I don't prefer those, or seek them out.

But now you've made me think about it...

 

[Kojak01]

I prefer male 1st person or neutral 3rd...

 

[SimonDoom]

I have written from both perspectives, but as a male I find the female perspective somewhat more erotic and more interesting. In part, I think it's because of the challenge of trying to write from a female point of view as a man. But the bigger reason, I think, is that women are more interesting protagonists in erotica, because society subjects them to stricter rules and restrictions. A female exhibitionist, for instance, is far more interesting and erotic to me than a male exhibitionist, so all my exhibitionist stories are from the female perspective. The female sex drive is more interesting to me than the male sex drive.

 

[bushyTrail]

I have written from both perspectives, but as a male I find the female perspective somewhat more erotic and more interesting. In part, I think it's because of the challenge of trying to write from a female point of view as a man. But the bigger reason, I think, is that women are more interesting protagonists in erotica, because society subjects them to stricter rules and restrictions. A female exhibitionist, for instance, is far more interesting and erotic to me than a male exhibitionist, so all my exhibitionist stories are from the female perspective. The female sex drive is more interesting to me than the male sex drive.

I agree, as a reader. As a writer, up until now (I'm male) I've written only in the female POV, even though I'm trying my hand with a third person POV to switch between the two perspectives in my next story.
The problem is: can a male really correctly capture a female POV, even considering that fiction is obviously less restrictive than reality? Sometimes I fear I got it all wrong...

 

[UsuallyPresent]

As a reader, I just want an interesting, self-consistent character. Gender isn't part of that IMO - there're plenty of ways to flip a gender even without magic/hypertech/whatever.

For instance, a reluctant, uncomfortably sub woman accidentally finds she likes domming women, and perhaps eventually decides she's not comfortable with the female role. Trying strapons, strapless, and suchlike really turns her on and makes her a lot more comfortable during sex. After confusion, seeking, and help from others, she eventually transitions.

Assuming it's reasonably well written, I'd find that an interesting story, personally.

 

[Javahead]

I'm a guy, so I may have a slight preference for male POV, but it's slight.

But what I really like is well written stories, from any POV. I can certainly get into well-written female POV stories, while poorly written stories from any POV just don't appeal.

Quality, along with believable (within context) situations and characters is key. Even if the story might otherwise appeal to all my kinks, if it pushes my "this writing is crap" or "too far for willing suspension of disbelief" buttons, I won't read far enough to find out.

But POV doesn't matter, as long as it doesn't work against the story being told.

 

[SimonDoom]

My general principle with selecting POV is to ask these questions about the story: who's the most interesting character? Which character is pushing against a taboo or personal boundary? Which character changes and grows the most? Which character experiences conflict and drama the most?

I come up with a story idea, first, then figure out who the characters are. By the time I've done that the choice of POV usually is obvious.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I started writing from male point of view, first person, because I'm male and wasn't skilled enough with characterisation to write from inside a woman's head. Then I tried a few female pov first person stories and thought, hmmm, I can sort of get away with this, enough to fool most men but not women.

Then I discovered close-in third person narration, and by that time as well, my female characters were for me far more interesting to write - because my men are all variations of me and easy to write because I know myself well (well enough to fool men, but not women, anyway ) - and here were these women steaming up from my psyche, demanding to be written.

And with a close third person narrator the world opened up, because I can get right into both gender's heads and seem to get away with it. Put it this way, no-one has said to me, "A woman wouldn't think like that," but they have said, "I don't like that woman you have portrayed," which means my characterisation was strong enough to suspend disbelief.

I don't have a preference for one pov per se, since my now preferred writing style allows me to do both, so it's a moot point, really. If I were to think about it, my female characters interest me more, so I probably pay them more attention. Men are far more predictable anyway, so there's that, too.

 

[Handley_Page]

Do you prefer to read erotica - particularly the sex scenes - from a male or female perspective? Which do you find hotter, and why?

I'm curious to see if women generally tend to prefer reading from a female perspective, and vice versa.

Personally, I have a slight preference for reading erotica from a male POV (as a female reader). I just think it's hotter (and more interesting) to get inside a male character's head in erotica, since I obviously have no experience in being a man, haha.

Personally, I'm not over-bothered.
But I prefer my story told by a 'narrator'

 

[Voboy]

No preference.

A well-written story will get a view from me, no matter what choices the writer makes about narrative voice or POV.

As a writer, though, I definitely prefer 1P for everything except SF or fantasy stories. I’d need to count them up, but I’d guess I write about 60/40 female to male POV. The story tells me how it wants to be written, regardless, and even though I’m not a woman, I’m told I write them fairly convincingly.

 

[eroticstoryspinner]

I agree that story is the thing and POV should not make a difference. That said, I tend to write from the female POV again for some of the reasons set out above. I also think that women tend to think more about sex and relationships and guys no matter how considerate a love have a certain tendency to mentally short circuit and go "SSSEEEXXXX!"Women seem to be more cerebral before they short circuit. Finally again no matter what guys need some recovery time. The dialogue can flow a bit better with women.

 

[RetroFan]

I've written plenty of stories in first person both as female and male, as well as third person for lots of other works. It depends on what the story involves. For example, I've written plenty of fetish stories involving voyeurism and these I think are better written from the voyeur's perspective. All my first time stories that involve a wide variety of different characters of both genders in different situations are first person. I've also written stories that heavily involve characters reflecting on past events and these also go better in first person.

 

[yukonnights]

I started writing from male point of view, first person, because I'm male and wasn't skilled enough with characterisation to write from inside a woman's head. Then I tried a few female pov first person stories and thought, hmmm, I can sort of get away with this, enough to fool most men but not women.

Then I discovered close-in third person narration, and by that time as well, my female characters were for me far more interesting to write - because my men are all variations of me and easy to write because I know myself well (well enough to fool men, but not women, anyway ) - and here were these women steaming up from my psyche, demanding to be written.

And with a close third person narrator the world opened up, because I can get right into both gender's heads and seem to get away with it. Put it this way, no-one has said to me, "A woman wouldn't think like that," but they have said, "I don't like that woman you have portrayed," which means my characterisation was strong enough to suspend disbelief.

I don't have a preference for one pov per se, since my now preferred writing style allows me to do both, so it's a moot point, really. If I were to think about it, my female characters interest me more, so I probably pay them more attention. Men are far more predictable anyway, so there's that, too.

I relate to your take on this. It begs the question; Why be forced into just one pov in the story? I personally don't find it hard to write in either male or female pov. As a female writer, I've been around men all my life. As a male writer, I've been around females all my life.

 

[tomlitilia]

My general principle with selecting POV is to ask these questions about the story: who's the most interesting character? Which character is pushing against a taboo or personal boundary? Which character changes and grows the most? Which character experiences conflict and drama the most?

I come up with a story idea, first, then figure out who the characters are. By the time I've done that the choice of POV usually is obvious.

I agree in part, but not necessarily about choosing the most interesting character as the POV. Sometimes the most interesting character is interestibg because they are somewhat mysterious or knows some secrets. It often works better to not use their perspective explicitly. I also think it's usually quite easy to reveal emotions of characters through the perceptions of others.

As for what's most erotic, I don't care. A story is only erotic if it's well-told, and the perspective that makes it a better story also make it more erotic.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I relate to your take on this. It begs the question; Why be forced into just one pov in the story? I personally don't find it hard to write in either male or female pov. As a female writer, I've been around men all my life. As a male writer, I've been around females all my life.

Agree this - and reading my post again, I see that I didn't make the observation that nowadays I typically use multiple pov in the same story - both genders, multiple characters.

In my Madelyn Chapters I gave myself the added challenge of portraying Adam, my often used male character, only from the points of view of the two women he engaged with, who were meeting him for the first time. That was an interesting exercise for me as a writer.

I've also written from the pov of an alien - that was a challenge until I found the right character for him, then it got easier once I'd found my way in.

 

[LaRascasse]

Being male myself, the female POV is a change from my own, hence I like reading it.

 

[vanmyers86]

Count me in the group that doesn't care as long it's written well. A compelling narrator of either gender can draw me into a story. As a woman, I might be more likely to identify with a female narrator, but most of the more interesting books I grew up reading had a male POV, so I am comfortable with it too.

 

[RejectReality]

Reading, it doesn't matter.

I don't write anything in 1st person from a female perspective. I've reached a point where I believe I could pull it off, but I continue to adhere to that personal guideline anyway.

Beyond that, it's more or less what feels right for that particular story. I've had stories that were completely stalled, and then saved by changing the perspective from the guy to the girl. I've moved stories from 1st to 3rd and vice-versa to pull them out of the bog as well.

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree in part, but not necessarily about choosing the most interesting character as the POV. Sometimes the most interesting character is interestibg because they are somewhat mysterious or knows some secrets. It often works better to not use their perspective explicitly. I also think it's usually quite easy to reveal emotions of characters through the perceptions of others.

As for what's most erotic, I don't care. A story is only erotic if it's well-told, and the perspective that makes it a better story also make it more erotic.

I agree with all this, so I guess in any discussion of "what's erotic?" or "what's the best POV for an erotic story?" I have to hedge anything I say with "anything can be erotic, told the right way" and "it depends on the details" and "it depends on exactly what sort of story you want to tell."

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree in part, but not necessarily about choosing the most interesting character as the POV. Sometimes the most interesting character is interestibg because they are somewhat mysterious or knows some secrets. It often works better to not use their perspective explicitly. I also think it's usually quite easy to reveal emotions of characters through the perceptions of others.

As for what's most erotic, I don't care. A story is only erotic if it's well-told, and the perspective that makes it a better story also make it more erotic.

As a further follow-up to this comment, I'll note that many of the stories Tomlitilia and I write share certain erotic focuses and interests, such as female exhibitionism and couples in which the wife is involved in extramarital sexual activity.

Stories like these can be told in an erotic way from either perspective. When it's from the woman's perspective, it becomes a story about a woman's exploration of her exhibitionist streak, or of her own fantasies to engage in sexual activity beyond the traditional bounds of marriage. When it's from the male perspective, the story is fundamentally voyeuristic, and it appeals to readers who want to put themselves in the shoes of the narrator and fantasize about their women/partners showing off and having sex with other men in front of them. Both are legitimate perspectives, artistically, and both provide valid, though different, erotic pleasures.

I'm working on my very first first-person story from the woman's POV and am curious how well I can pull it off. I hope to finish it this month. I also plan to write more stories of this sort in the third person omniscient POV so I can tell both sides, or multiple sides, of the story.

 

[jehoram]

As a writer, I pretty much stick to male perspective. I've written one or two stories with a female narrator, but those described situations that really didn't require a lot of insight into what the woman was feeling emotionally or physically.

As a reader, I think I prefer the female narrator, since women have always been a big mystery, and I need all the help I can get to figure them out. Come to think of it, the stories written by men that interest me the most are the ones that cater to specific fetishes that I have and that I can't indulge in myself. And that sort of story generally isn't written by women.

 

[Blind_Justice]

As long as it's well-written, I can enjoy the story from either point of view. The "mechanics" (i.e. positions or techniques) aren't as important as the setup, surroundings and the characters doing it.

As a writer, I can write both and have done so. My readers haven't told me which they prefer though.

 

[Cfnmlover84]

I like female first person and neutral third person.

 

[gordo12]

Either way is fine reading or writing. To me a good story should be led by the person most involved emotionally in the plot. Although truthfully as a male it's a challenge (impossible?) to write a proper female POV.