Making love vs fucking/sex

[Jada59]

Yeah, there's another thread with a similar title but it went to hell in a hand basket. So I'm starting a new one. What do you think the differences are?

To me, fucking/sex is more primal with the intent to bring both partners to orgasm. Is generally done when one or both people are horny. There may or may not be foreplay. Could be many variables here.

Making love may or may not involve fucking and it may not even involve any kind of sex at all or even an orgasm. What it involves is more of a gentleness between two people. A closeness. May involve talking, kissing, cuddling, touching all over. Basically making the other person feel loved and feeling love back from them. Might be done when one or both people are tired, don't feel well either physically, spiritually or emotionally. Has a bit of a healing quality to it. If there is fucking/sex involved, it's more of a slow, gentle type although it certainly could progress to the more primal type. Or... In some cases could even come after the primal type as a way to express love to one another.

 

[delicious_man]

Yeah, there's another thread with a similar title but it went to hell in a hand basket.

It sure did. Hilariously so.

Anyway, back to this topic. Here are my initial thoughts:

Fucking, to me, implies something physical. Making love is a more emotional, possibly even spiritual experience.

However, the question I would like to ask is whether purely physical fucking actually exists. I would argue there is always an emotional element underlying the act of having sex with another human being. As much as the participants might like to think they are having simple easy-peasy, no-strings-attached, animalistic sex... I'm not sure that's normally the case.

When you become physically entangled with some other person in the most intimate manner, might it not be possible that you end up opening something of your inner-most non-physical self to them also?

 

[Jada59]

It sure did. Hilariously so.

Anyway, back to this topic. Here are my initial thoughts:

Fucking, to me, implies something physical. Making love is a more emotional, possibly even spiritual experience.

However, the question I would like to ask is whether purely physical fucking actually exists. I would argue there is always an emotional element underlying the act of having sex with another human being. As much as the participants might like to think they are having simple easy-peasy, no-strings-attached, animalistic sex... I'm not sure that's normally the case.

When you become physically entangled with some other person in the most intimate manner, might it not be possible that you end up opening something of your inner-most non-physical self to them also?

What you say is pretty much true. I did tell of a story here before where I went to a New Year's Eve party. Midnight struck and I kissed the guy sitting next to me. I didn't mean anything by the kiss but he read far too much into it, then deceived me into going with him to take some friends home. He was a military guy, visiting or the holidays. He said he wanted to go back to the party but didn't know the area and didn't know how to get back.

When we got to the friend's house, we walked in with them, the he proceeded to try to get me to the floor to fuck. I wasn't interested in that and demanded that he take me back to the party. He did but once there, he wouldn't let me go. We were on the dance floor. This was a huge, mansion-like house and yes, there was a dance floor!

A guy appeared that I didn't know. The two of them got into an old timey fist fight over me. Military guy was asked to leave. Other guy took me upstairs to a "quiet" place. Turned out to be his bedroom. Very small room with the bed set in a bay window. I pushed him back onto the bed, undid his pants and began sucking his cock.

He was like... Wait! What are you getting out of this? I told him that I didn't want anything back and he should just enjoy it. He came quickly. It was very primal. I didn't feel much of a connection to him and in looking back, I can't really figure out why I did it as that's not how I normally operate.

We did exchange phone numbers. He did try to contact me but I didn't find out until much later that he had in fact called but my room mate at the time didn't tell me as she was angry with me. The reason for the anger was that her creepy BF kept following me around trying to have sex with me. She should have been angry with him. That came later when she found out he was only using her. He was moving to another city and proposed marriage. Used her car to get him there. Then he dumped her. But I digress.

Found out that the guy I had sucked off had been kicked out of the house for never paying rent and they didn't know where he went. So it's just as well that we never met again. But... That was just pure primal sex for me.

Yes, I can have primal type sex with someone I have an emotional attachment to. And generally when I do have sex, it's like that.

 

[delicious_man]

It's an interesting subject - the primal and physical vs the emotional and intimate. I often find myself trying to explore these themes in my writing (on the rare occasion I get round to doing a bit of writing that is).

A purely physical relationship makes for a good easy starting point for erotic fiction - but then what happens when your characters start to experience unexpected emotions. How do they deal with this? I find these are great themes for a writer of erotica to tackle.

 

[Jada59]

It's an interesting subject - the primal and physical vs the emotional and intimate. I often find myself trying to explore these themes in my writing (on the rare occasion I get round to doing a bit of writing that is).

A purely physical relationship makes for a good easy starting point for erotic fiction - but then what happens when your characters start to experience unexpected emotions. How do they deal with this? I find these are great themes for a writer of erotica to tackle.

Would be interesting find out others opinions on this. IRL, I usually start out more to the primal side then later, the emotional. I'm a Cancerian so should be emotional but I think I'm less so than some. I also have a lot of Leo in my chart.

 

[phil_o]

I imagine you could write about this subject forever and still have more to say.


For me and my wife there are times we are both very horny and just need an urgent fuck, no or little fore play do it where we stand quick hard fast and both want to cum quick. Fucking.


Making love I think is when you are not randy, you need to have your mind turned on to the idea and warmed up gently before anything else starts, that's not to say the making love can't be almost brutal in nature as much as it might involve very gentle teasing and stroking with an orgasm almost eased out.

For me as a man the turning on the brain is as simple as the wife asking if I'm interested in playing, for her I might have to work at it all day, or five mins, don't know till you try!
But what do I know?

 

[Jada59]

I imagine you could write about this subject forever and still have more to say.


For me and my wife there are times we are both very horny and just need an urgent fuck, no or little fore play do it where we stand quick hard fast and both want to cum quick. Fucking.


Making love I think is when you are not randy, you need to have your mind turned on to the idea and warmed up gently before anything else starts, that's not to say the making love can't be almost brutal in nature as much as it might involve very gentle teasing and stroking with an orgasm almost eased out.

For me as a man the turning on the brain is as simple as the wife asking if I'm interested in playing, for her I might have to work at it all day, or five mins, don't know till you try!
But what do I know?

Nice thoughts. Thanks!

 

[Januari]

I guess in the simplest terms, for me, is that I have fucked more than my fair share of people. I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve been with that I would consider it to be making love.

The older I get, the more I realize I prefer fucking over making love. My reserve of ability to share intimacy with another person dwindles the more I interact with people. Making love is a very vulnerable thing and changes the dynamic of our relationship. And I do believe you can be in a relationship with someone and have it be just fucking. I really can’t tell you the last time I would say I made love to someone new. I have been involved with my current partner four more months then I care to admit but it has never gone past The level of fucking. And honestly, that’s how I prefer to keep it.

 

[Jada59]

I guess in the simplest terms, for me, is that I have fucked more than my fair share of people. I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve been with that I would consider it to be making love.

The older I get, the more I realize I prefer fucking over making love. My reserve of ability to share intimacy with another person dwindles the more I interact with people. Making love is a very vulnerable thing and changes the dynamic of our relationship. And I do believe you can be in a relationship with someone and have it be just fucking. I really can’t tell you the last time I would say I made love to someone new. I have been involved with my current partner four more months then I care to admit but it has never gone past The level of fucking. And honestly, that’s how I prefer to keep it.

Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

 

[AlwaysFara]

It’s the same for me. I call it fucking. It is fucking. I haven’t fucked anyone I don’t love.

 

[Jada59]

It’s the same for me. I call it fucking. It is fucking. I haven’t fucked anyone I don’t love.

Thanks!

 

[lurkingguy1978]

I've always considered it interchangable...there are degrees, of course, but it's mostly semantics.

Long, languid, tender "lovemaking" is just another flavor of primal fucking.

The only difference in connotation for me is one that you assign for yourself.

Says someone whose heart is more attached to his cock than most.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Thanks for this Jada.

There are times when I need to feel that primal force. I need it hard and fast and very rough. I need to drive my cock deep in her wetness and pump hard until I can't stand it anymore. Sometimes I need it so bad that I'm still hard after I cum and I have to keep thrusting until I either cum again or collapse, spent totally, overcome by lust.

That's fucking.

Sometimes I ache for her. I miss her and I need to touch her . I need the feel of her wetness on my shaft, enveloping me. It drives me to relentless pumping, hard and deep and kind of rough. Sometimes I need her so bad that I'm still hard after I cum, and I have to keep thrusting until I either cum again or collapse, spent totally, overcome by love.

That's making love.

See the subtle difference.

 

[Asian_Flower]

For me each has it's place. After so many years together we both know what each other wants. Sometimes long slow love making with lots of sucking and licking before he enters me and at other times we just want to fuck each others brains out, getting straight to it without even kissing. Both are sooo delicious.

 

[Jada59]

Love the answers!

 

[navytime09]

body versus mind, impulse versus intimacy

 

[Jada59]

body versus mind, impulse versus intimacy

Thanks!

 

[navytime09]

Jada you are an amazing person, please do not stop!

Maybe it has to do with laughter. IDK - I can think of a lot of fuck sessions with zero words spoken but I have a hard time recalling a single love-making event without at least one tickle or nibble or quick quip bringing on some sort of giggle/laugh. My vote's with love, lights on and in the glory of our bond!

 

[Jada59]

Jada you are an amazing person, please do not stop!

Maybe it has to do with laughter. IDK - I can think of a lot of fuck sessions with zero words spoken but I have a hard time recalling a single love-making event without at least one tickle or nibble or quick quip bringing on some sort of giggle/laugh. My vote's with love, lights on and in the glory of our bond!

Oh yeah. I'm a talker and I love to laugh. My ex husband used to get angry with me for laughing. I think he thought I was laughing at him. I wasn't. I just love having orgasms and sometimes they do make me laugh!

 

[navytime09]

I'm a big fan of Am porn and to me, a giggle goes so much further than a moan.

 

[Jada59]

I'm a big fan of Am porn and to me, a giggle goes so much further than a moan.

Oh, I do both. Sometimes I even scream. Hehehe.