Making Friends -- secret code?

[kittenartist]

This may be a silly question born out of my frustration but...

I am trying to make friends online with the hopes of them being "3D friends" in the near future. I have posted a couple places. I state very clearly that I am looking for friends and not sex. And everyone that replies seems either surprised that I do not want sex or basically flood me with innuendo. Both of which leads to no friendship.

Is saying friends only secret code for wanting sex? Or am I just having bad luck? I also clearly state that I am involved with someone which has lead to a number of married men approaching me hoping I can be "discrete".

I never was good at making friends. Maybe I am doin' it wrong?

 

[SweetErika]

Maybe where you're posting has something to do with it? Can you give us an idea as to where you've been posting these ads?

Have you tried looking for activity partners to share certain things you enjoy on that section of Craigslist? How about joining groups for certain hobbies/activities, then looking for friends there? Tried sites like Meetup or Tribe for your city?

 

[kittenartist]

Maybe where you're posting has something to do with it? Can you give us an idea as to where you've been posting these ads?

Have you tried looking for activity partners to share certain things you enjoy on that section of Craigslist? How about joining groups for certain hobbies/activities, then looking for friends there? Tried sites like Meetup or Tribe for your city?

The site I am using could be the problem... The main one I tried actually is Craigslist. I am trying to focus on people interested in Rock Band (yeah, I am lame) and trips to the local dog park.

In the past I made friends through volunteer work. I get especial joy out of fostering animals. But circumstance prevents me from pursuing that option.

I will look into Meetup and Tribe -- those are sites I am unfamiliar with, perhaps they will have been results. Thank you for the suggestions.

 

[SweetErika]

The site I am using could be the problem... The main one I tried actually is Craigslist. I am trying to focus on people interested in Rock Band (yeah, I am lame) and trips to the local dog park.

I've met people who became friends on Craigslist, but I do think it has to do where and what you post and how you filter the results. I guess I'm more looking for a personal connection than specific tastes because I can have fun doing a lot of different things with the right person. I've seen a lot of ads for friendship in the W4W section of CL, so you might try posting and responding to ads there, too.

OKCupid is another site you may want to try. I've met friends there, too.

In the past I made friends through volunteer work. I get especial joy out of fostering animals. But circumstance prevents me from pursuing that option.

Circumstances prevent you from volunteering completely, or just fostering animals? If it's the latter, maybe you could volunteer at a rescue organization or for another cause you're interested in.

 

[kittenartist]

I've met people who became friends on Craigslist, but I do think it has to do where and what you post and how you filter the results. I guess I'm more looking for a personal connection than specific tastes because I can have fun doing a lot of different things with the right person. I've seen a lot of ads for friendship in the W4W section of CL, so you might try posting and responding to ads there, too.

OKCupid is another site you may want to try. I've met friends there, too.

Circumstances prevent you from volunteering completely, or just fostering animals? If it's the latter, maybe you could volunteer at a rescue organization or for another cause you're interested in.

I have been on OKCupid before without much luck. Could try again. Although, MeetUp already has potential so thank you again for suggesting it Found a local board game group!

Circumstances make it very difficult to do much of anything. The biggest obstacle is the lack of transportation. But I will look around and see if there is volunteer opportunities nearby.

 

[human_male]

You're probably not doing anything wrong. The net's just full on lonely, horny, desperate men and you'll just have to put up with a certain amount of crap regardless of what you say. I hope you don't give up though. There are people who are genuinely looking for friends too.

I'd say stay away from dating/singles sites. Nothing's more exasperating to see an add on a singles site from someone saying "I'm not looking for anyone. I've got a boyfriend."

 

[kittenartist]

You're probably not doing anything wrong. The net's just full on lonely, horny, desperate men and you'll just have to put up with a certain amount of crap regardless of what you say. I hope you don't give up though. There are people who are genuinely looking for friends too.

Yep, I think I was being too sensitive the other night. Now things are perking up after weeding through the sex obsessed.

I'd say stay away from dating/singles sites. Nothing's more exasperating to see an add on a singles site from someone saying "I'm not looking for anyone. I've got a boyfriend."

Good advice. I have avoided dating sites for that very reason.

Thanks.