Make your own Christmas song

[DirtyJJ]

I thought I would start a fun thread for those of you who are creative and would like to make your own Christmas song. Take any well-known Christmas song, let us know what song you chose, and then re-write the words as you choose. I know some of you can come up with something clever to entertain us - so please have fun with it!

 

[Vincent E]

Sing to Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Santa Claus knows that good little boys
Don't put there hands on other kids' toys.
Take your fingers off of my wife!

You blew into town to take in a show
But moving on her was pretty damn low.
Take your fingers off of my wife!

The woman that I married, she likes to sleep around.
And now she's gone out and brought in some guy from out of town.

Now I'll let you run and I'll let you hide
But only if you get away from my bride.
Take your fingers off of...
Get your fingers off of...
Take your fingers of of my wife!

 

[cantdog]

We made this up (actually, it was mostly Bill) and sang this in the car, night after night, driving to the sandwich shop because the supper had been so awful. The school had run out of funds. Government "potted meat food product" made into a sort of bastard chop suey-- and chicken pie.

tune: Angels We Have Heard On High (Gloria)

the Fuckin Chicken Pie song

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plain
And the mountains in reply,
"Jesus Chist, that shit again!"

chorus~
Fah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
ah-ah-ahkin' chicken pie!
Fuckin chicken pie!
Fah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
ah-ah-ahkin' chicken pie!
Fuckin chicken pah-ah-ah-eye!

---Mr. Bones!
---Yes, Mr. Tambo?
---What is the difference between chicken pie and chicken fricassee?
---Why, I have no idea, Mr. Tambo. What is the difference between chicken pie and chicken fricassee?
---Oh, about three days!

Listen as you pour your milk
To the voice as soft as silk
Hilma Bradford, cordon bleu
Made this horseshit just for you!

chorus repeats!

(Bones and Tambo have another go-- these varied)

Waddling through the flies and swill
Comes our cook, her name is Lil
Ask her what we'll have today
She will smile and sweetly say:

Fah....chorus repeats!

(Mr. Bones, Mr. Bones!)

Repeat first verse as a sort of coda, then a rousing chorus, "Fahhh..."

By this time we'd be in the hamlet of Garland, which was not dry, even though most of the towns around were, and which had a sandwich shop.

 

[impressive]

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

I have no idea why, but we used to sing:

Knee squish poo a cherry mish mash ...

(too much egg nog, methinks)