Make myself seem more experienced?

[UKJake]

Hello

A girl that i really like is coming to stay for the night on Friday and after a meal and a few drinks would love to take things further if given the chance.

I'm not going to spend all night trying to get her into bed because that would ruin the evening but my worry is that shes had plenty of experience (usually from guys just using her but i want more than just the sex) and although i had a lot of good sex with my ex girlfriend it was nearly four years ago.

This girl was joking the other day that its been so long since i last had sex (i had a rubbish one night stand about a year ago) that i've probably forgotten all my tricks and i confidently said "No, i doubt it!" I just want to make sure that, if it happens, i dont seem inexperienced, not confident or not willing to try things. I want to be able to please her and make her think that was better than all those people who have just used her for sex in the past. And maybe want to come back for more!!!

Any help would be very much appreciated! Thanks.

 

[Ezzy]

I just want to make sure that, if it happens, i dont seem inexperienced, not confident or not willing to try things...

The best way to accomplish your wishes is: -

1) To be confident.

2) To be willing to try things.

3) To do everything you can think of (by remembering or by fantasizing) to make love to the one you are with, with all your heart, body and soul.

4) To be wiling to ignore any advice you get on this thread and just let her know you love her for herself, and want nothing more than her happiness.

 

[Jaybird3]

Just be yourself. You won't have forgotten anything. Do what you are comfortable with.

 

[burrish]

well maybe start like if you two are on the couch watching tv and you have your arm around her then rub her arm and work your way up to her neck while your other hand is rubbing her leg. then maybe lean over and give her a little kiss and start from there. go slow and sensiual. give her what every woman wants to be loved and felt that her needs matter.
just my opinion

 

[Bobmi357]

Jake,
Lets dispell a few myths here.

No woman will fault a man for being nervous the first time they have sex together. Mostly because she's just as nervous as you are!

Instead of trying to impress her with obscure and bizarre tricks, why not instead spend your evening trying to make her feel comfortable and good? A man that knows "ALL" the tricks cannot stand up to comparison to a considerate and giving lover.

Here's a couple suggestions.

1) Masturbate a couple hours before she comes over. This will take the edge off of your desire and prevent any premature accidents.

2) Lay off the booze while she's there. To quote the bard, "Strong wine giveth the desire and taketh away the ability".

3) Relax! If you obsess about this, all you will do is ruin it for yourself, and for her. Go with the flow, but take things slow, let her, and yourself build up a nice strong head of steam before you start stripping. Consider LOTS of hugging and kissing. Lots, an hour of it at least, perhaps two hours. Sure there is a lot to be said for a quick fuck, but nothing beats a slow boil that leaves the woman panting and pulling at your belt buckle.

From your post;

A girl that i really like is coming to stay for the night on Friday and after a meal and a few drinks would love to take things further if given the chance.

Notice what you said there. You REALLY like her. So lets forget about the machismo routines and think about what you can do to make her understand how you feel about her.

Far too often guys tend to get their dates naked and start screwing without ever taking the time to ask "do you like it when I do this?" Or "Does this feel good?". Try talking with her Jake. I don't mean asking her who her favorite team is. But really try to talk to her. Reach beyond the body you want to hump like a bunny and touch the person inside.

Just keep repeating to yourself "Women are people, they have feelings, hopes and desires just like I do". And you'll do fine.

 

[UKJake]

Thanks for all the responses! They are all very good.

Ive planned a little meal at my house with some wine and then a few drinks in the pub but like what has been said, the alcohol wont help me in the long run even though it may make me more confident to begin things. The masturbating before i meet up with her is a good thing, ive heard it a few times and of course i wont be so horny enough to ruin things and make her think thats all i wanted from the night if masturbate before i see her.

I think because shes done a lot of things and the things shes done are perhaps fantasies ive only thought about trying is a little threatening. Knowing that if shes done these things, she must be or her partner at the time must have been really confident.

I'm looking forward to the cuddles and things most of all. If i get a good sign that she want some more fun just from the cuddles it'll be much easier to move from them on the sofa and to other things in the bedroom.

I'm up for trying anything at all on Friday should we go that far, just want her to think WOW!!

 

[ldlarry52]

I agree with Bobmi357 lots of good advise there. I had a friend years ago tell me the best way to get laid is to get the girl liking you first.
Don't pressure or hint around all evening. Be interesting, friendly and open. Get her talking ask open ended questions about herself. Not sexual questions get to know her and let her know you are interested in her as a person not just someone you want to fuck.
Anyway you owe all who have replied here an update as to what happens this Friday. If you do get lucky I am sure all what to know the details. At least I do. LDLarry52

 

[wicked woman]

Jake trust me any or all of the best techniques with a man when it is 'just' sex will pale in comparison to any technique...even the most basic but wonderful missionary position if it's with a man you truly care about who feels the same way about you. Don't ever underestimate the power of strong caring emotions (or if you want to be bold....love)


And Bob...once again you're on the money.

 

[midwestyankee]

Jake,

You've said you "really like" this girl. Then spend the entire evening proving to yourself why you like her. Is it because you admire something about her? Is it because she brings out some quality in you that is otherwise a bit dormant? Do you really like her because she makes you laugh or feel less self-conscious when you're with her?

Forget the sex and it will happen. Forget the woman and it never will.

 

[UKJake]

Yes i'll let anybody who wants to know what happens and how i did things!

Its true that if she trusts me and sees me as somebody different to all the other guys she is more likely to want to do things differently with me.

When i heard tales about her and her past i was stunned at first but found myself defending her because i realised people do things for certain reasons and i knew her reasons but othe people didnt. My best mate is female and shes had many similar experiences to this girl so it was easier for me to understand than some of her critics.

I am often told that i'm "So funny!" by people and i like the attention but sometimes feel that they say these things to help them get themselves through the day. This girl is very quick witted and i like the fact that she always has an answer and doesnt see me as some sort of performing seal! Shes very bright and cute and although experienced in life, innocent in a unexplainable kind of way and i like the thought of myself looking after her and us both enjoying it!

My biggest mistake on Friday would, like has been posted by ldlarry52 be hinting and suggesting all night because shes probably heard it all before and i need to seperate myself from the other guys.


Thanks for the advice all!!!

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Jake, it's like riding a bike. You never REALLY forget. I agree with others, jerk off before she gets there, don't drink much alcohol, relax, and focus on her pleasure. If you spend an evening focusing on HER, rather than YOU, you will be a success.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

..........Just keep repeating to yourself "Women are people, they have feelings, hopes and desires just like I do". And you'll do fine.

oh god can I have this on a t-shirt? Or maybe a bumper sticker? All young men should learn and practice this 'mantra'.

 

[Bobmi357]

oh god can I have this on a t-shirt? Or maybe a bumper sticker? All young men should learn and practice this 'mantra'.

Hmmm maybe I should hurry up and copyright this idea...

 

[Maxell46]

Just be you!!!!!
You come off as a sincere and nice guy...let that be who she gets to see and know.
She likes you already! Otherwise she wouldn't be coming to visit.
You like her!
Have yourself a great time and let nature dictate the pace.
The best things need not be rushed into...so take it as it comes and enjoy the company of what sounds like a great woman!

Best of luck!
We expect a full report by Monday AM

 

[UKJake]

Hello!

Well she came around and we bought some beer and wine to go with the meal and the rest of the night. I lit the candles on the table and she didnt say anything like it was cheesey, i think she appreciated it because nobody has done things like that before. Until last week, nobody had taken her out for a meal and on Friday night she admitted guys who she with never seemed to dare to give her compliments (she is gorgeous which is a surprise that they dont say anything if they are with her).


We had a laugh and it was the first time she'd seen my house or my dogs(!) and we watched some music tv and downloaded some songs for her on the internet.

We were sat on my bed talking and she lay on her stomach so i gave her a back massage and she really enjoyed it and said something like "if the bra is in the way, you can take it off!" So i did and things went on from there and we kissed for the first time in ages.

We were kissing and talking for ages until she said that because shes seeing other guys too, i couldnt offer her everything (although i noted she couldnt put her finger on what it was specifically) and that each guy she 'sees' offers her something different. She was questioning me whether or not i wanted her as my girlfriend and i said only if thats what she wanted and that we would be exclusive to each other but i said apart from that we should just enjoy it because i could tell she was liked what we were doing.

Then she told me it was her time of the month!!! Damn! I still would have made love (or had sex) if she wanted to and i am certain she would have done if i'd suggested it a bit more thoroughly but it didnt stop us from getting near naked and playing with each other which was great in itself after doing nothing with nobody for so long. And people here were right, you never forget the basics and she was enjoying it!

We got really horny and i suppose the biggest compliment was when she asked me when my parents were away again in the middle of us messing about!

I remembered that she had said one of her fave things was a guy cumming on her stomach so after a bit of oral on me (which she said she doesnt like doing to guys - seems to me that shes been used to guys just humping her when oral is much more intimate and thats something shes never really had) i came on her stomach and there was loads of it which impressed her!

A while later and i made her cum my stroking her clit and she said "bitch!" just after it because i achieved it! And in the morning we had a fumble again and i told her that i meant what i said last night about i think shes great, get jealous that i have to share her attention but i think she sees me as something a little different to the other guys.

She wants to go to Blackpool this week and i suggested we stay over which she wasnt opposed to. Hopefully we can have some fun and take things further but i dont know where the relationship (or lack of it) will go but aslong as i stick around and make her feel appreciated perhaps things will go my way?