*~Maid's Great Bionic Adventure~*

[Maid of Marvels]

Nothing ever goes smoothly...

I arrived at the hospital at six ayem and went to the first floor as I had been directed the day before. Ever wander around an empty hospital? The experience is quite other-worldly. Even the machines are quiet.

I know I was in the right place. D elevators. 1st Floor. Catheterization. Uh huh. Only know one else seemed to know I was coming.

I finally found someone in a tiny room about a mile in, but I was in the Neurology Department by then. They said they'd help... Uh huh. Well, they tried. They phoned Catheterization but got no reply and decided to walk me up to the 2d floor where outpatient day ops go but they said I was in the wrong place. No kidding.

Six more phone calls got a reply in Catheterization and I walked back down to the first floor and did another half mile. I was so hoping they'd just send my butt home by this time, you have no idea.

Okay, so now I'm where I should be and almost an hour late for having taken the time to exercise along the way. Good thing the procedure wasn't scheduled til eight ayem, right? *nods* (I still say they should have sent my butt home.)

The rest of the pre-op stuff was "normal" except that my drip thingie broke and they couldn't find a new one... then they were pushing some antibiotic in by hand even while they were taking me to the OR.

I didn't get to choose my music, but it was Classic Rock and they asked me if I liked the selections they had chosen midway through sometime. It was Zeppelin then. One of my faves "Kashmir". They couldn't have chosen better, though I had expected something more "techno".

When they uncovered my face, the lights were blinding and I immediately spilled all the top secret info I had been keeping to myself for so many years with just a bit of gentle prodding. (I'm such a wuss).

I made it safely to a room with a sling on to remind me not to use that arm... Of course it meant nothing to me. I kept lifting it to adjust the sling.

Well... The upshot is that I am fully battery operated and my voice now sounds like CAPCOM. I understand that I may hear tones if the device goes off... Wondering if they will sound anything like NASA at liftoff but hoping more like a male voice after dialing 976-STUD.

There was some bad news, though. I have to give up arc welding and I can't do car repairs -- no leaning over a running engine, dontcha know. My cheerleading career is on hold as I can't do cartwheels or shake my pompoms for at least a month. (The team will be SO disappointed.) Oh... and BINGO. I can't go and use those magnetic bingo wands anymore.

My life is ruined. Just ruined. *sighs*

Truth, the defibrillator is in and everything's cool. I declined pain meds as it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, though the doc was a bit surprised. Now if only they would have added an automated coffeemaker to the deal, I'd be in heaven.

Home again and settling in. *kisses to everyone who needs them*

~Maid

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Nothing ever goes smoothly...

I arrived at the hospital at six ayem and went to the first floor as I had been directed the day before. Ever wander around an empty hospital? The experience is quite other-worldly. Even the machines are quiet.

I know I was in the right place. D elevators. 1st Floor. Catheterization. Uh huh. Only know one else seemed to know I was coming.

I finally found someone in a tiny room about a mile in, but I was in the Neurology Department by then. They said they'd help... Uh huh. Well, they tried. They phoned Catheterization but got no reply and decided to walk me up to the 2d floor where outpatient day ops go but they said I was in the wrong place. No kidding.

Six more phone calls got a reply in Catheterization and I walked back down to the first floor and did another half mile. I was so hoping they'd just send my butt home by this time, you have no idea.

Okay, so now I'm where I should be and almost an hour late for having taken the time to exercise along the way. Good thing the procedure wasn't scheduled til eight ayem, right? *nods* (I still say they should have sent my butt home.)

The rest of the pre-op stuff was "normal" except that my drip thingie broke and they couldn't find a new one... then they were pushing some antibiotic in by hand even while they were taking me to the OR.

I didn't get to choose my music, but it was Classic Rock and they asked me if I liked the selections they had chosen midway through sometime. It was Zeppelin then. One of my faves "Kashmir". They couldn't have chosen better, though I had expected something more "techno".

When they uncovered my face, the lights were blinding and I immediately spilled all the top secret info I had been keeping to myself for so many years with just a bit of gentle prodding. (I'm such a wuss).

I made it safely to a room with a sling on to remind me not to use that arm... Of course it meant nothing to me. I kept lifting it to adjust the sling.

Well... The upshot is that I am fully battery operated and my voice now sounds like CAPCOM. I understand that I may hear tones if the device goes off... Wondering if they will sound anything like NASA at liftoff but hoping more like a male voice after dialing 976-STUD.

There was some bad news, though. I have to give up arc welding and I can't do car repairs -- no leaning over a running engine, dontcha know. My cheerleading career is on hold as I can't do cartwheels or shake my pompoms for at least a month. (The team will be SO disappointed.) Oh... and BINGO. I can't go and use those magnetic bingo wands anymore.

My life is ruined. Just ruined. *sighs*

Truth, the defibrillator is in and everything's cool. I declined pain meds as it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, though the doc was a bit surprised. Now if only they would have added an automated coffeemaker to the deal, I'd be in heaven.

Home again and settling in. *kisses to everyone who needs them*

~Maid

YAY!! I am so glad you're home and doing well. Sounds like an adventure ONLY You could/would have... as far as all the exercise BEFORE surgery! *ducking*

Seriously though.... glad it all went well, that the choice of music was good, and that you ARE and WILL BE fine! I will say that your *976-STUD* had me ROTFLMAO!! Only you dear.... only you!

 

[chris2c4u]

Glad it all went well and you are now totally electronic. Where's the on-off switch?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Thanks for the kind words, Victoria.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Erm... Chris, I think you'll have to go a hunting for the switch.

 

[Steiner]

Welcome back, Mahorosan!

So that's it - you're cyborgised now? Look out Tokyo - it's Mecha-Maid!

Seriously - welcome home, rest up and make sure you're fit and well.


*HUGS*

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Thank you, Baka-san.

I will do, but am obsessing over my loss in re arc welding and auto repair. *sighs* Now I have to find more hobbies.

On the downside, I can't be checked with one of those wand things going through security now BUT on the upside, all frisking has to be done by hand. (Planning LOTS of plane trips).

 

[Wolk]

Glad to hear you are OK, Maid. *hugs* to you.

Come to think of it, you are now something like a Terminatrix - human flesh over mechanical insides. Now, that's hot.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Thanks, Wolk.

Hmm... sexy terminatrix? Wondering how sexy I'd sound speaking "Arnold"?

 

[Wolk]

Well, "Ahnold" might be pushing it... But a slightly metallic voice...

Especially if you pretend to be one of those sci-fi androids designed strictly for sex.

 

[Bacigalupo]

Cool. So you can transform into cars and stuff now, right? M.O.M: More than meets the eye.

M.O.M. ver. 69 Hoo-hah!

Nice to see you again, darlin.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*bacci for Baci*

You know, that transformin' stuff must have completely slipped my doc's mind. He never said a word! Very remiss!!

Now I'm thinking bout it, I never did get the hang of putting them back together once I managed taking them apart. Maybe a few lessons -- or someone else to initiate the transforming?

*hugs* Baci. Good to be back.

 

[Tibxo]

Oh shit!

Maid has been fitted with Ever-Ready batteries. Now she will just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ..........................................

Seriously, though. I'm glad today went okay (eventually). *BIG HUG*

Now, I have got a question:

Now that you have been "rebuilt", will you be changing your surname to "Austin"? Or become the "World's First Bionic Maiden"? Or even go and work for that Oscar fella at OSI?

 

[Tibxo]

Oh Oh!

I can hear the fingers typing at Bionic Speed!

 

[Graybread]

No Pom Poms, well there goes that thread.

Can you plug other, mmmmmmmm….., electrical devices into yourself now???

Will it work in Europe?

 

[Suave Intent]

GET BETTER!

'nuff said

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Hotties...

Maid.....

In that other thread, we mentioned boy toys and HOTTIES ... and finding the right man .. remember that ... well .......

Looking below, and I'm sure above, my posts .. I think you can have your pick of the pack anytime ..

Welcome home my friend and take it easy!

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Oh shit!

Maid has been fitted with Ever-Ready batteries. Now she will just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ..........................................

Seriously, though. I'm glad today went okay (eventually). *BIG HUG*

Now, I have got a question:

Now that you have been "rebuilt", will you be changing your surname to "Austin"? Or become the "World's First Bionic Maiden"? Or even go and work for that Oscar fella at OSI?

I see how you are.

The upside of my new battery power is that the next time we go to the mall and you make strange people stare, I can just reach out and zap your cheeky self. (Sorta cattle-proddish) *nods sagely*

 

[Maid of Marvels]

No Pom Poms, well there goes that thread.

Can you plug other, mmmmmmmm….., electrical devices into yourself now???

Will it work in Europe?

Fickle.

As to these plug-in thingies... All I can say is I'll never go without toast again, but they didn't program me for kawfee.

Europe... is easy peasy but we'll see America first and then we conquer the world. bwahahahaha! (You comin'? Someone has to drive.)

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Suave... I'll always be around to nag you. It's a tough job but with batteries I can just keep naggin' and naggin' and naggin'... You get the idea.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Red...

*eyeing the guys up and down and down again* Yep... Most of the hotties are here all right. Maybe I can send a list to Santa?

Oooh... wouldn't it be neat if I could light myself up like a Christmas tree -- sorta chakra like? Blinking or even chasing lights would be VERY cool.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Welcome back dear lady
I sincerely hope that all goes well for you, and wish you everything that one would wish for oneself
hugsssssss
Blue


http://www.designerflowers.org.uk/val_passion_12.jpg

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Thanks, Blue... *HUGS*

Does that wish mean I can get a bunch of pizzaboytoys and not get killed off for it like I do in that other thread? *squints*

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Thanks, Blue... *HUGS*

Does that wish mean I can get a bunch of pizzaboytoys and not get killed off for it like I do in that other thread? *squints*

oh
a Boytoy?
I never thought of being one of those before
hugsssssssssss
Blue

 

[Maid of Marvels]

I never thought I'd be battery operated. Sounds like a good combination to me.