scheherazade_79
Steamy
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2003
- Posts
- 9,677
I had a really, really shitty day yesterday 
I was tired, but I dragged myself into the city centre to get a birthday present for my nan. While I was there, I somehow lost my set of keys. Everything was on there - keys to three houses, work keys, my car key, and worst of all, my eye of Horus lucky charm.
I retraced my steps and left my name and number at every shop I went to, hoping that someone would hand it in. But they didn't.
It was the hottest day of the year, and although I could have gone back to my sister's house by bus, there was no way I'd be able to get inside. I felt fucking exhausted, too. Add to that the fact that I'd parked in the most expensive car park in the centre, and you'll understand why I felt a little low.
I ended up getting on a train and making a four-hour round trip to pick up my spare keys from home. My mother met me at the station with the keys, because I only had ten minutes to spare before my train left to go back to Cardiff.
Quite fittingly, the sky was black and the rain was pouring down when I saw my mum on the platform. She'd had to make a one and a half hour round trip to bring me the keys, and proceded to give me the bollocking of my life in the middle of the platform. There were several people waiting for the train, including one really attractive girl, whose eye I'd already caught.
So what does my mum go and do? Lecture me - about being careless, about how it was high time I got a handbag... Everyone was listening. Then it started to thunder, but it didn't put my mum off. She gave me a timetable, with my train marked clearly. It didn't stop her from running through it with me in basic detail, like I'd have difficulty understanding it otherwise. Then I was told to call her as soon as I was sitting in my car... It was awful.
And then it got worse.
Around Swansea, lots and lots of people got onto the train. This really awful-looking guy came and sat opposite me. He had long, greasy ginger hair, and as soon as he sat down he fell asleep.
After a while he woke up. His eyes were totally fucked. I don't know what he'd been taking, but it wasn't alcohol and it wasn't weed. He wanted to talk, and because I was bored I decided to humour him. His name was Baron, but everyone called him Mad Dog. And what do you know, Mad Dog had just been released from prison.
I probably should have terminated the conversation there, but it was the most interesting thing that had happened to me in weeks, so I came straight out with it and asked him what he'd done.
It was manslaughter. He used to fight in illegal boxing matches, and one day hit someone a little bit too hard. He was quite a big guy and probably spent a lot of time in the gym. But this is where his story grows slightly dubious. He was hitting on me - telling me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and how he wanted to take me out for a drink.
I was just mesmerised by his teeth. Most of the front ones were missing, and the back ones were black! Everybody in the compartment was listening. He even sang for me.
And then he asked me if I thought he was attractive. What could I say? He had naff tattoos all the way along his arms - things like "Mum + Dad" and "Debbie" - and although he was only 32, he looked in his late forties.
I told him that I wasn't all that well qualified to judge (
) but he didn't pick up on it, and instead started telling me that he was 16 inches... soft. I was determined not to react to such bullshit, so I asked him how he managed to fit it all in his underpants. He replied that he didn't wear any, so I commented on it dragging along the floor as he walked. A couple of people sitting nearby laughed.
But he kept asking, and kept asking, until I finally had enough and announced to him and the entire train that I was gay.
It was a good move. He left me alone after that.
Being gay has never been so good
My parking fee was £15, but all the lights were on green for me the whole way home. It was the least that I deserved.
Everything started being great again, until I got a phone call from my mum saying that my boss had called, wanting me to do more work - hence the 'bitches' in the thread title
I was tired, but I dragged myself into the city centre to get a birthday present for my nan. While I was there, I somehow lost my set of keys. Everything was on there - keys to three houses, work keys, my car key, and worst of all, my eye of Horus lucky charm.
I retraced my steps and left my name and number at every shop I went to, hoping that someone would hand it in. But they didn't.
It was the hottest day of the year, and although I could have gone back to my sister's house by bus, there was no way I'd be able to get inside. I felt fucking exhausted, too. Add to that the fact that I'd parked in the most expensive car park in the centre, and you'll understand why I felt a little low.
I ended up getting on a train and making a four-hour round trip to pick up my spare keys from home. My mother met me at the station with the keys, because I only had ten minutes to spare before my train left to go back to Cardiff.
Quite fittingly, the sky was black and the rain was pouring down when I saw my mum on the platform. She'd had to make a one and a half hour round trip to bring me the keys, and proceded to give me the bollocking of my life in the middle of the platform. There were several people waiting for the train, including one really attractive girl, whose eye I'd already caught.
So what does my mum go and do? Lecture me - about being careless, about how it was high time I got a handbag... Everyone was listening. Then it started to thunder, but it didn't put my mum off. She gave me a timetable, with my train marked clearly. It didn't stop her from running through it with me in basic detail, like I'd have difficulty understanding it otherwise. Then I was told to call her as soon as I was sitting in my car... It was awful.
And then it got worse.
Around Swansea, lots and lots of people got onto the train. This really awful-looking guy came and sat opposite me. He had long, greasy ginger hair, and as soon as he sat down he fell asleep.
After a while he woke up. His eyes were totally fucked. I don't know what he'd been taking, but it wasn't alcohol and it wasn't weed. He wanted to talk, and because I was bored I decided to humour him. His name was Baron, but everyone called him Mad Dog. And what do you know, Mad Dog had just been released from prison.
I probably should have terminated the conversation there, but it was the most interesting thing that had happened to me in weeks, so I came straight out with it and asked him what he'd done.
It was manslaughter. He used to fight in illegal boxing matches, and one day hit someone a little bit too hard. He was quite a big guy and probably spent a lot of time in the gym. But this is where his story grows slightly dubious. He was hitting on me - telling me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and how he wanted to take me out for a drink.
I was just mesmerised by his teeth. Most of the front ones were missing, and the back ones were black! Everybody in the compartment was listening. He even sang for me.
And then he asked me if I thought he was attractive. What could I say? He had naff tattoos all the way along his arms - things like "Mum + Dad" and "Debbie" - and although he was only 32, he looked in his late forties.
I told him that I wasn't all that well qualified to judge (
) but he didn't pick up on it, and instead started telling me that he was 16 inches... soft. I was determined not to react to such bullshit, so I asked him how he managed to fit it all in his underpants. He replied that he didn't wear any, so I commented on it dragging along the floor as he walked. A couple of people sitting nearby laughed.But he kept asking, and kept asking, until I finally had enough and announced to him and the entire train that I was gay.
It was a good move. He left me alone after that.
Being gay has never been so good
My parking fee was £15, but all the lights were on green for me the whole way home. It was the least that I deserved.
Everything started being great again, until I got a phone call from my mum saying that my boss had called, wanting me to do more work - hence the 'bitches' in the thread title
