Miltone
Shameless Romantic
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2001
- Posts
- 1,493
Welcome to the wonderful world of sales consultancy! In this light-hearted sexy romp we shall explore what happens when a struggling company brings in some high-priced, highly recommended sales consultants, who will introduce their unconventional and controversial techniques for developing customer-company and employee-employer relationships.
Although the lovely Chanaud and myself will kick this off, there is plenty of room for other consultants, management staff and employees. So all newbies and experienced writers who have enjoyed or fantasied about sex at work are cordially invited to join in on the fun! Let's have some fun lampooning the business world!
Milton E. “Miltone” Lute, Senior Partner, Lute, Robb & Plunder
Another goddamned sucker! I thought with a smile as my assistant and I strode up the winding walk from the limousine to the front door of WXYZ Associates, the “Wild Wacky Widget People of WIXIE,” or so claimed the banner stretched across the front of their modern brick faced building.
Familiar story: tough economy, lagging sales, poor morale in the front office and on the shop floor, profits in the tank, CEO and Sales VP getting very anxious about how to pay for the corporate jet they snuck past the board of directors or their own 48-foot Hatteras tied up at Pier 39 that they seemed to have forgotten to tell their wives about.
That’s when they read a trade journal and see the slick choreographed advertisement. “Need to boost sales now? It’s not easy! It’s not cheap!” The ad goes on, but the bottom line is they signed the retainer and Lute, Robb & Plunder rides to their rescue.
They were ready for us, the senior management staff gathered in the opulent conference room, notebook computers and Palm Pilots at the ready, cell phones and pagers turned off, all anxious and willing to break new ground. Except for one. She seemed to have been out late the night before, her skirted suit slightly rumpled, her silk blouse wrinkled, her heavy-lidded eyes a bit sleepy. Miltone chuckled and winked at his assistant, who was there to provide the eye candy distraction.
“All right, people!” I called out, with a snap of my fingers. Without an introduction, I launched into a speech that began with, “What the fuck is wrong with your bottom-line?” continued with “You people paid me a boat load of money for this and I want you all to get your money’s worth!” and concluded with “Sales success in 90 days! Who’s still with me?”
A sea of hands shot up, even the sleepy head sitting near the front. I watched her take a strong slug of coffee and a deep breath. When she stretched and raised her arms up, pulling her blouse open enough to see what was and was not underneath, I knew that I had my volunteer.
“For the orientation session this morning, I’m going to need a volunteer to assist me,” I said, my eyes sweeping the room. A dozen pairs of eyes glanced at my assistant then back at me. Eleven hands were raised. “You,” I said, pointing to the sleepy head, whose hand had remained on her coffee cup. “Come on up and tell me your name.”
She looked around, almost as if panicked, then rose reluctantly. Tall, trim, and very nice looking. This will be more fun than I thought, I chuckled to myself. She cleared her voice and tried unsuccessfully to smooth out the wrinkles in her short skirt. She stood awkwardly in front of the group and smiled. A pretty smile at that.
“Um, my name is … well, everyone here knows me,” she said pointedly.
“But I don’t, Miss,” I said waving my hand to get her to continue.
“My name is …”
Although the lovely Chanaud and myself will kick this off, there is plenty of room for other consultants, management staff and employees. So all newbies and experienced writers who have enjoyed or fantasied about sex at work are cordially invited to join in on the fun! Let's have some fun lampooning the business world!
Milton E. “Miltone” Lute, Senior Partner, Lute, Robb & Plunder
Another goddamned sucker! I thought with a smile as my assistant and I strode up the winding walk from the limousine to the front door of WXYZ Associates, the “Wild Wacky Widget People of WIXIE,” or so claimed the banner stretched across the front of their modern brick faced building.
Familiar story: tough economy, lagging sales, poor morale in the front office and on the shop floor, profits in the tank, CEO and Sales VP getting very anxious about how to pay for the corporate jet they snuck past the board of directors or their own 48-foot Hatteras tied up at Pier 39 that they seemed to have forgotten to tell their wives about.
That’s when they read a trade journal and see the slick choreographed advertisement. “Need to boost sales now? It’s not easy! It’s not cheap!” The ad goes on, but the bottom line is they signed the retainer and Lute, Robb & Plunder rides to their rescue.
They were ready for us, the senior management staff gathered in the opulent conference room, notebook computers and Palm Pilots at the ready, cell phones and pagers turned off, all anxious and willing to break new ground. Except for one. She seemed to have been out late the night before, her skirted suit slightly rumpled, her silk blouse wrinkled, her heavy-lidded eyes a bit sleepy. Miltone chuckled and winked at his assistant, who was there to provide the eye candy distraction.
“All right, people!” I called out, with a snap of my fingers. Without an introduction, I launched into a speech that began with, “What the fuck is wrong with your bottom-line?” continued with “You people paid me a boat load of money for this and I want you all to get your money’s worth!” and concluded with “Sales success in 90 days! Who’s still with me?”
A sea of hands shot up, even the sleepy head sitting near the front. I watched her take a strong slug of coffee and a deep breath. When she stretched and raised her arms up, pulling her blouse open enough to see what was and was not underneath, I knew that I had my volunteer.
“For the orientation session this morning, I’m going to need a volunteer to assist me,” I said, my eyes sweeping the room. A dozen pairs of eyes glanced at my assistant then back at me. Eleven hands were raised. “You,” I said, pointing to the sleepy head, whose hand had remained on her coffee cup. “Come on up and tell me your name.”
She looked around, almost as if panicked, then rose reluctantly. Tall, trim, and very nice looking. This will be more fun than I thought, I chuckled to myself. She cleared her voice and tried unsuccessfully to smooth out the wrinkles in her short skirt. She stood awkwardly in front of the group and smiled. A pretty smile at that.
“Um, my name is … well, everyone here knows me,” she said pointedly.
“But I don’t, Miss,” I said waving my hand to get her to continue.
“My name is …”
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