Lovelife

[docisin]

I'm looking for some advice from either females or males, if they choose. I'm coming out of a marriage that I have been trying to get out of for a long time. It feels great, but I'm not at all sure how to start meeting other females for new relationships, and so I spend a lot of time alone and, frankly lonely. I'm mid-40s, highly educated (Ph.D.), sensative and emotional as hell (women are supposed to dig that), I'm great looking, can make you laugh your ass off, and to top it all I'm rich (I'm really not B.S.-ing about any of this). Thing is, I really have no idea how to meet sexy, fun available women, and I really have a lot to share with someone. So that's it. Any legit advice would be appreciated. Thanks. you can email me at: docpage@earthlink.net, or just reply to this thread. Peace.

 

[Lasher]

Ummm...

Try not to be so humble. That might help.

 

[CreamyLady]

One of the first things an intelligent woman learns is to avoid relationships with men fresh from a divorce or busted relationship. There are very sound reasons for this.

May I make a suggestion? Get your ego out of the way and go where women are. Talk to them, listen to them, be friends with them. Try to avoid treating them as potential sex partners and instead treat them like human beings.

I'd also leave off the bit about being sensitive and emotional as hell. Women only dig it when it is sincere and not a cover for self-absorbed and whiny.

 

[Cheyenne]

Stick around here and post more. Thousands of people read these posts every day. Sometimes, you'll catch the eye of someone who follows what you say and likes your words. By the time they contact you, the ice is already broken and it feels like you've known each other for a long time.

Create a profile to include in the members section, and post a pic with it.

Also, register your email address so that people can contact you just by clicking on the mailbox at the bottom of your posts. You can set up a Literotica mailbox for free if you don't want email from here going to your regular email account.

Good luck!

 

[teresafannin]

I agree with all of what has been said. Don't parade your ego/money out there, it is only attractive to women who aren't interested in you. Take it kind of slow, the single women I know will avoid a freshly divorced man like the plague. Rebound romances very seldom work out. Don't talk about yourself, be genuinely interested what a woman thinks. I met my guy on a blind date & we have been together for nearly 4 years. If you have friends who know single women, offer to be an extra man at a party. I know of several happy couples who met this way. I don't go for the "I'm rich, sensitive & emotional & good looking" types myself, they tend to be more interested in themselves. I wanted someone who would be interested in me & was lucky enough to find him. Don't look too hard, it has been my experience that when you stop looking so hard, you find what you've been looking for all along. Good luck.

 

[docisin]

O.K. Apparently I didn't articulate my thoughts as clearly as I might have. What I am trying to say is that I have a lot to offer, but I don't know how to approach a woman. Lasher: try not to so humble? What I'm trying to be is open and asking for advice. Creamy Lady: This is NOT and ego issue. My ego is out of the equation. If you think I go around parading myself and accomplishments in hopes that it will attract women, you're dead wrong. I only listed all of this stuff to give people an idea of parts of my life. That's it. I also don't go around pushing this sensativity on people; it just so happens that I am, that's all. So my point is, I am shy, I have been out of it for a while, and I simply do not know how to approach a woman for ANYTHING; friendship, companionship, sex, anything. And that's what I am writing for advice for. For the others who gave me constructive suggestions, thank you.

 

[Cheyenne]

Don't forget to sign up with email address at Lit! You still don't have the "mail" box at the bottom of your page. Trust me, you want it there.

 

[Earthmuffin]

My opinion only...

Just keep posting, look around, smile say "hi". Go do things in your area that interest you that other ppl will also attend. (You know, community clean up days, car rally, bikeathon whatever have you's.) Surf yourself on over to the Lit personals board and strike up a flirt. And oh yeah, RELAX, it will come.

 

[BlondeBeauty]

Coming from a 22F's point of view, I would have to say that a man with strong intellecutal capabilities, but also a terrific sense of humor is a must to be put on my "Possibilities" list...it sounds like you have alot going for you, so just enjoy life and have fun...say hello to any female that catches your eye...after all, what's the worst that can happen? If you don't hit it off, it just wasn't meant to be...I wish you the best of luck!!

 

[CreamyLady]

I'm so sorry. The wording of your post was such that it set off my Jerk Alert.

It's still going off, too. I can't think why.

 

[*Eve*]

If you are to shy to approach a woman in person, then start a thread in the personal section or place an ad online, I know lots of people who have hooked up that way.

 

[Lasher]

I'm so sorry. The wording of your post was such that it set off my Jerk Alert.

It's still going off, too. I can't think why.

Well, ya know, CL... If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... Then it's probably a duck...

(or a platypus that does impressions)

 

[docisin]

Once again, thank you so much to those of you that take my question seriously, you all really, really helped with your suggestions. As for those of you with a so-termed "jerk alert," I can only say that it is YOUR alert, and not mine. Peace.

 

[Shelby]

Doc,

I think you just don't get it...the instruction manual "What Women Want" that was handed out to men is so different from the "What Women Need"instruction pamphlet WHICH IS WRITTEN BY US.

You're probably very nice, just rewrite your biography. I understand, from what you said, that you're shy....well you just told a whole lot of a different story to 700 kazillion women on this list.

Don't try so hard, it works so much better.

 

[Latina]

docisin,

Are you looking for a no-strings relationship, or a serious committed one? If the latter...

I know lots of people bash dating sevices, but my husband and I met through one. I hope that it is not aganst BB policy to specifically mention them, they are nationwide, called Great Expectations. It is EXPEN$IVE to join, but that means the people you find there are serious enough about a committed, quality relationship to have paid this money to find it. I know of two other similar dating services I've heard great success stories about, but both are just in the San Francisco Bay area (Table for 6 and Singles Supper Club). There are probably similar organizations you could join in your area.

You write-up an HONEST profile of who you are and what you're looking for (knock off the rich and sensitive crap, nobody will believe that, and they won't ask you out because you're obviously not being honest and sincere). What you choose to include in this written profile, and how you express it, says a LOT about your personality and how you view yourself.

You also make a video (everyone is asked the SAME questions, so your potential date can evaluate YOUR answers against the answers of others to those same questions). Only first names are used in the profiles and videos. Other than not knowing the last name or address/phone, you know a LOT about the person up-front from the written profile and video. Then you tell the dating sevice you would like to contact this person. They contact the person for you, and if that person is interested, then the dating service gives you each other's telephone numbers.

And some woman might find YOUR profile intriguing, and contact YOU and ask YOU out. I used to look through the written profiles for about two hours at a time, twice a week, and I did ask a few guys out.

After my curren husband contacted me based on my profile, I looked up his profile, and found I HAD noticed his profile before and had found him intriguing. So I was glad he had picked me. We took the dating-service's built-in screening process one step further. We spoke on the phone for several hours every night for about 6 weeks, before we agreed to meet in person. We then knew all about each other's personal philosophies, life history, etc., so that first date was relaxed and comfortable, like old friends getting together, not nervous like picking-up a stanger in a bar. We were comfortable enough with each other to have sex on our fourth date, two weeks after our first face-to-face meeting. And 7 weeks after that, he proposed, and we so wanted to commit to each other that we got married another 7 weeks after that, or only about 5 months after that first telephone conversation. It was a whirlwind romance and courtship that has built a rock-solid marriage for 4 years and counting.

Anyway, you might want to think about this as a way to find a quality committed relationship. It worked for us.

-- Latina

 

[TN_Vixen]

confidence

and a little bit of cockiness go a long way with me. Don't get this confused with egotistical or obnoxious.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Dude, dude, dude........

If yer real!!!!!! Especially "the rich" part.....

And you can't get laid, a potential significant other or a professional slave.......

You be fuckee, fuckeed.

You be pitee-ful.

I know many, many women who would date you blind - with your description.

Ladies, me thinks this is a scam.

Doc is in my ass!!! Hey!!!! Ouch!!!!