J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
Siblings with Benefits Part. 02: Sins of the Past Chapter 01
by LOVECRAFT1968
First, a confession: I have a short attention span. I really cant deal with more than 600 words at a sitting. A full LIT page is a struggle, and 3 LIT pages is an ordeal. LOVECRAFTs tale is a full 3 pages. I'm spent and need a vacation. Actually I read all of it 3 times.
Another caveat: I have 5 sisters. Sister anything turns me off. They and I are estranged. No Christmas card swaps. No birthday notes. Our mutiny is an old one, doing back to 1971 when mom died. I was an adult, they were kids, and disposed of the estate. Each of them got 1000s in trust, I got $359. They think they were cheated and robbed. But I digress. Sibling incest isn't my cuppa tea.
I didn't read LOVECRAFTs original Siblings With Benefits tale. It was popular, tho. Fans are joyous it has returned. The references to the violence opened my eyes wide, so I may read it.
So I stuck to the technical, writerly stuff as I read this story.
Errors are few and far between, probly one per page at most, and none that are colossal or damning. I suggested LOVECRAFT add a 3rd set of eyes, to catch all the wee snafooze, if perfection is his goal.
Its coherent and cohesive. It doesn't wander or drift off the reservation, and there are no WTF rude awakening where the action, set in Cleveland OH, is suddenly out on a moon of Pluto. There's plenty of method in the madness.
Its mostly back story with some new sex and snarkiness eruptions between Megan and Mark. I thought of a kinky Captain and Tennille. Reminds me of a quiet pastorale movement that follows the tempest opening of Beethovens 5th Symphony.
Lets look forward to an ending like this Beethoven did...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5MB___RO28
I scored the story 5 STARZ.
by LOVECRAFT1968
First, a confession: I have a short attention span. I really cant deal with more than 600 words at a sitting. A full LIT page is a struggle, and 3 LIT pages is an ordeal. LOVECRAFTs tale is a full 3 pages. I'm spent and need a vacation. Actually I read all of it 3 times.
Another caveat: I have 5 sisters. Sister anything turns me off. They and I are estranged. No Christmas card swaps. No birthday notes. Our mutiny is an old one, doing back to 1971 when mom died. I was an adult, they were kids, and disposed of the estate. Each of them got 1000s in trust, I got $359. They think they were cheated and robbed. But I digress. Sibling incest isn't my cuppa tea.
I didn't read LOVECRAFTs original Siblings With Benefits tale. It was popular, tho. Fans are joyous it has returned. The references to the violence opened my eyes wide, so I may read it.
So I stuck to the technical, writerly stuff as I read this story.
Errors are few and far between, probly one per page at most, and none that are colossal or damning. I suggested LOVECRAFT add a 3rd set of eyes, to catch all the wee snafooze, if perfection is his goal.
Its coherent and cohesive. It doesn't wander or drift off the reservation, and there are no WTF rude awakening where the action, set in Cleveland OH, is suddenly out on a moon of Pluto. There's plenty of method in the madness.
Its mostly back story with some new sex and snarkiness eruptions between Megan and Mark. I thought of a kinky Captain and Tennille. Reminds me of a quiet pastorale movement that follows the tempest opening of Beethovens 5th Symphony.
Lets look forward to an ending like this Beethoven did...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5MB___RO28
I scored the story 5 STARZ.
Last edited by a moderator:
