love in a bdsm relationship

[AvaAdore]

(okay, starting with a little intro since this is my first post )

i have been reading this forum for a week or two before registering. i have read the stories (mainly bdsm) on literotica for a couple of years, but i have never been to the forums. i came here out of curiosity about what people do in real life, and didnt think i would post since i am very inexperienced, however i see that there are quite a few who are also new to it, so i dont feel quite so left out also i am coming across threads i want to comment in i consider myself to be submissive...for the most part.

i have recently entered a relationship with someone who i was very good friends with for a while (and still am ). as my luck turned out, he's into aspects of bdsm as well. however, as it also turns out, we both seem to be submissive by nature. we've been experimenting with a few things here and there (bought a hard leather cat-o-nine-tails and played with it, spanking, biting and scratching, tying up), and have found that being the "top" is quite fun. being the top is not nearly as sexually satisfying, but it's quite a lot of fun


now to business:
how important do you consider love to be in this sort of a relationship? i dont mean one time "play" sessions, but more long term relationships. to me, love and trust are paramount, and i find it hard to imagine that i would fully submit to someone i did not love.

 

[sluttygirl4u22]

For me I know I would never be happy being in a long term relationship of any kind with someone I didn't love. I could submit but it wouldn't make me happy and for me that is important. Sex without love is good, but sex with love is greeeeeat (my Tony the Tiger impression went there). If I wasn't in love with the Dom it wouldn't work, and if He didn't show me love it wouldn't make me happy. So without any more blabbing on and on I think love is very important in any kind of relationship just are honesty, trust and communication

 

[A Desert Rose]

Someone recently said to me that sex is the celebration of love.
Without love, sex is a hollow activity.



What do you think of that philosophy? Agree or not?

 

[MissTaken]

Someone recently said to me that sex is the celebration of love.
Without love, sex is a hollow activity.



What do you think of that philosophy? Agree or not?

That is a wise "someone."

Sex for the sake of sex and release is hollow and a short term high. Sex that is the culmination or expression of love and affection is intense and deeply rooted in one's psyche.

Hell, even the orgasm's are better when you care for someone

 

[Goddess Helena]

I agree.
( I seem to do that a lot. )
Anything shared in the context of a loving/romantic relationship is more enjoyable. While not everyone has romantic D/s relationships, it is what I have and what I know. It is not better, it is just what works for My boy and I. The trust, faith and emotion that W/we share makes O/our D/s play more worthwhile and satisfying.


Helena

 

[UCE]

I like love in my relationships, and since my relationships are bdsm, I guess that means I like love in my bdsm relationships (I know I'm being pedantic, lol, I like to). However, it doesn't have to be romantic "in love" love. Friend love is just fine, too.

You're asking people for their personal preferences, right, not if love is important in bdsm in general?

Unda

 

[lark sparrow]

now to business:
how important do you consider love to be in this sort of a relationship? i dont mean one time "play" sessions, but more long term relationships. to me, love and trust are paramount, and i find it hard to imagine that i would fully submit to someone i did not love.

I believe trust, love and mutual respect are paramount as well. But also that love comes in a variety of levels and forms. From being "in love" - you are "the one", to romantic/sexual love, as well as love that is found in intimate friendships. Any of those would and have worked for me in BDSM relationships that were longer-term or beyond one time play sessions.

PS Nice to see a Kiwi here.