Love a myth???............

[kikmosa]

I wonder how many others believe, like me, that love is only a myth. I'm sure at least one does. How many of you think it's a myth and how many believe in it and why? I'm curious.

 

[tolyk]

So, I'm guessing you've never been in love? Either that, or you were hurt by someone you loved.

I very much believe in love. When I was with my wife, there was a feeling I just cannot describe, no matter how hard things got it was always there. Even now, through the midst of a divorce, I still have feelings for the woman, though they aren't as strong as they once were.. I still don't like seeing her hurt, or in pain at all, I just want her to be happy. (She's the one who left me btw, long story I'm not getting into)

Then of course, there is the non-romantic love. I have two children, whom I love very much. Love comes in many forms, some people don't let it in, because it can bring pain with it.. Like when you miss someone after they are gone. *shrug* Love exists, anyone who thinks it is a myth, is missing out a lot in life.

 

[mdutchess28]

you forgot

Love is just a four letter word.

 

[kikmosa]

So, I'm guessing you've never been in love? Either that, or you were hurt by someone you loved.

I very much believe in love. When I was with my wife, there was a feeling I just cannot describe, no matter how hard things got it was always there. Even now, through the midst of a divorce, I still have feelings for the woman, though they aren't as strong as they once were.. I still don't like seeing her hurt, or in pain at all, I just want her to be happy. (She's the one who left me btw, long story I'm not getting into)

Then of course, there is the non-romantic love. I have two children, whom I love very much. Love comes in many forms, some people don't let it in, because it can bring pain with it.. Like when you miss someone after they are gone. *shrug* Love exists, anyone who thinks it is a myth, is missing out a lot in life.

Been hurt but not by someone I loved. Hated, loathed, feared yes, but not loved. I'm not sure I'm able to truly love. I care a great deal for someone but if I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure it's really love. I'm not sure I've ever even seen anyone truly in love. I know of a few couples here on lit that I think are in love but since I've never met them for real how can I know for sure? I'm just really confused.

 

[tolyk]

Well, honestly what makes you feel you are able to tell how someone truly feels deep inside? Sometimes, love just isn't enough to save a relationship, or to make a person treat another well. Love affects each and every person differently, it isn't something that can be universally judged. Like my wife used to tell me, "I think you love me more than I love you." it wasn't true, she was just insecure with herself, and was depressed. Each person shows their feelings differently. For example, I did everything I could for my wife, whenever she'd ask something of me, and generally before she even asked.

You speak of true love.. If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy, all the time. My wife wasn't happy, and now she is.. So, I suffer through the pains of not having my children (I promised her custody before my first was ever born) and not having my wife, just so that she can be happier.. I wanted a family of my own from a young age.. It kills me to not have them anymore, but she wasn't happy, who am I to stand in the way of her happiness.

(I'd rant on longer, but I think thats enough)

 

[kikmosa]

you forgot

Love is just a four letter word.

So is care and hope. I care about people. I have hope that things will work out. I don't love and don't think I ever have or ever will. Is it something lacking in me? Or is love not truly real?

 

[kikmosa]

Well, honestly what makes you feel you are able to tell how someone truly feels deep inside? Sometimes, love just isn't enough to save a relationship, or to make a person treat another well. Love affects each and every person differently, it isn't something that can be universally judged. Like my wife used to tell me, "I think you love me more than I love you." it wasn't true, she was just insecure with herself, and was depressed. Each person shows their feelings differently. For example, I did everything I could for my wife, whenever she'd ask something of me, and generally before she even asked.

You speak of true love.. If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy, all the time. My wife wasn't happy, and now she is.. So, I suffer through the pains of not having my children (I promised her custody before my first was ever born) and not having my wife, just so that she can be happier.. I wanted a family of my own from a young age.. It kills me to not have them anymore, but she wasn't happy, who am I to stand in the way of her happiness.

(I'd rant on longer, but I think thats enough)

So if your in love then your willing to be unhappy so the one you love can be happy? Hmmm....... I guess I'd have to be happy first for that to happen. There's been very little happiness in my life so that gonna be hard.

( I'm very sorry for your loss though.)

 

[tolyk]

So if your in love then your willing to be unhappy so the one you love can be happy? Hmmm....... I guess I'd have to be happy first for that to happen. There's been very little happiness in my life so that gonna be hard.

( I'm very sorry for your loss though.)

There hadn't been much happiness in my life either, until I met my wife. I still treasure the memories of our time together, and a part of my heart will always belong to her.

I'm seeing a new woman now, and even with the sacrifices I've made, I still find happiness with each new day. A saying comes to mind..

"Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

 

[Ricwilly]

I thought love was a myth till I experienced it.

 

[kikmosa]

I thought love was a myth till I experienced it.

So, was it a lasting love? How did it feel? Would you do it again or was once enough?

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I used to think true deep love was something that others could have, but not me...
My mind may be changing on that with some lovely help.

 

[kikmosa]

I used to think true deep love was something that others could have, but not me...
My mind may be changing on that with some lovely help.

You are a very fortunate person. Best of luck.

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Hey kiki...Love is definitely elusive but not a myth.
It isn't however the stuff of fairy tales. Love does not necessarily conquer all, it does not make us whole, it does not cure all ills. Love is out there in many forms...romantic love, the love of dear friends, the love of a child...and more. It is a strong emotion and can propel us to do things that we otherwise would not.
And some people never recognize love for what it is because they are looking for the fairy tale. In my experience I had to learn to be whole on my own...to love myself first ( I know, cliche, but true) and to be open to loving and caring for others even though it meant opening myself up for possible hurt and then I could recognize love in many different forms.
Because many of us have suffered abuse and pain, we close ourselves off, but in the end that truly makes the abuser the winner. It takes a great deal of courage to allow ourselves to open up to another enough to love and be loved.
just my thoughts ...

 

[Missingmeds]

Hey kiki...Love is definitely elusive but not a myth.
It isn't however the stuff of fairy tales. Love does not necessarily conquer all, it does not make us whole, it does not cure all ills. Love is out there in many forms...romantic love, the love of dear friends, the love of a child...and more. It is a strong emotion and can propel us to do things that we otherwise would not.
And some people never recognize love for what it is because they are looking for the fairy tale. In my experience I had to learn to be whole on my own...to love myself first ( I know, cliche, but true) and to be open to loving and caring for others even though it meant opening myself up for possible hurt and then I could recognize love in many different forms.
Because many of us have suffered abuse and pain, we close ourselves off, but in the end that truly makes the abuser the winner. It takes a great deal of courage to allow ourselves to open up to another enough to love and be loved.
just my thoughts ...

This is an award winning post. You managed to put into words what I was thinking and I, for one, want to thank you for it.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

I wonder how many others believe, like me, that love is only a myth. I'm sure at least one does. How many of you think it's a myth and how many believe in it and why? I'm curious.

Well, let's see, I've been in love with the same woman for 33 years, so I do believe in it. Wouldn't trade a second of it for anything else, good times or bad.

 

[kikmosa]

Hey kiki...Love is definitely elusive but not a myth.
It isn't however the stuff of fairy tales. Love does not necessarily conquer all, it does not make us whole, it does not cure all ills. Love is out there in many forms...romantic love, the love of dear friends, the love of a child...and more. It is a strong emotion and can propel us to do things that we otherwise would not.
And some people never recognize love for what it is because they are looking for the fairy tale. In my experience I had to learn to be whole on my own...to love myself first ( I know, cliche, but true) and to be open to loving and caring for others even though it meant opening myself up for possible hurt and then I could recognize love in many different forms.
Because many of us have suffered abuse and pain, we close ourselves off, but in the end that truly makes the abuser the winner. It takes a great deal of courage to allow ourselves to open up to another enough to love and be loved.
just my thoughts ...

Oh my, if I'm going to have to wait on love until I love myself first then I might as well stop looking now. I doubt if I ever really love myself again. Right now I don't even like me. Not even a little. But thanks for your words. They do make sense and I'm sure they will help.

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Re: Love a myth???............

Well, let's see, I've been in love with the same woman for 33 years, so I do believe in it. Wouldn't trade a second of it for anything else, good times or bad.

You are perhaps one of the most fortunate men I've heard of. May God give you another 33 together.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

No, I don't believe love is a myth...

My reason for believing are 4 of the most wonderful people I've known. My maternal grandparents, whom were in love until the day they left this earth and my parents who after forty some years of marriage still act like newlyweds when together.


Sure they all had ups and downs, but they chose to stick with it and work hard to make sure they stayed together to keep their love alive...

I wish you the best kiki and hope you find what you are searching for.

 

[kikmosa]

No, I don't believe love is a myth...

My reason for believing are 4 of the most wonderful people I've known. My maternal grandparents, whom were in love until the day they left this earth and my parents who after forty some years of marriage still act like newlyweds when together.


Sure they all had ups and downs, but they chose to stick with it and work hard to make sure they stayed together to keep their love alive...

I wish you the best kiki and hope you find what you are searching for.

I wish I had memories of family like that. I mostly remember fighting and dad being drunk. And my grandparents didn't think mom should have had more then one child and pretty much ignored the rest of us. Not good memories.

 

[1sexylady]

Love is like everything else.... It come in all sizes, heights, colors and weights. It can twist you up and yet smooth you out. It can hurt you and care for you. You can enjoy it and then again hate it. It is what it is....LOVE.

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Oh my, if I'm going to have to wait on love until I love myself first then I might as well stop looking now. I doubt if I ever really love myself again. Right now I don't even like me. Not even a little. But thanks for your words. They do make sense and I'm sure they will help.

I'm sorry this is the way you are feeling right now kiki...but hopefully it's a temporary situation. I hope that you somehow come to realize that there is a person worthy of loving inside your skin. Because there is, no matter what issues have caused you to believe otherwise. Good luck on your journey to find love.

 

[kikmosa]

I'm sorry this is the way you are feeling right now kiki...but hopefully it's a temporary situation. I hope that you somehow come to realize that there is a person worthy of loving inside your skin. Because there is, no matter what issues have caused you to believe otherwise. Good luck on your journey to find love.

I'm hoping it's temporary too. I'm just dealing with a few issues and doubts. I figured that asking the people here their thoughts on the subject, maybe I would get my thoughts straight. It does seem to help.

 

[Gil_T2]

I wonder how many others believe, like me, that love is only a myth. I'm sure at least one does. How many of you think it's a myth and how many believe in it and why? I'm curious.

Hi KIKI & until November 2003 I thought that love was over rated & really didn't last even if you had found it but now with my loverly lady BANDIT who I met through LIT has changed my life & mind, KIKI you & I have known each other here on LIT & have chatted,emailed & exchanged many PMs over the time & any person who opens his heart to you would find a wonderful lady that I know you are.

 

[geishaGirl]

No, I don't believe love is a myth...

My reason for believing are 4 of the most wonderful people I've known. My maternal grandparents, whom were in love until the day they left this earth and my parents who after forty some years of marriage still act like newlyweds when together.


Sure they all had ups and downs, but they chose to stick with it and work hard to make sure they stayed together to keep their love alive...

I wish you the best kiki and hope you find what you are searching for.

I've only skimmed through the posts on this thread but I had to post a response to this one - I'd just like to say Elizabeth, that when I first started reading your post I thought "geez, lucky lady finding 4 people she loves" following the line of thought of how people have relationships with multiple people...then to read that you were referring to your parents and grandparents - wow!

Firstly, it's so wonderful to have examples like that in your life and secondly, that you look to them and have a positive view on love because of it...

My husband and I hope to present the same example to our children and anyone else that notices what we are like...we have certainly not been together for 40 years (we sure hope to though!) but we do still act like when we were first together, it comes naturally to us and if we can keep that up, along with open communication and a continual appreciation for each other then I think we'll be doing well.

 

[geishaGirl]

Now that I've got some thoughts out of the way (above) here's what I think about love in general...

Yes I believe in love - obviously having found and married my soulmate has alot to do with this! What I am going to say here isn't probably anything new...(I haven't read all the posts on this thread)...but if your experiences of love have been perceived as bad or negative then your view of love certainly will be influenced or coloured by that.

In my own experience - I have always been a very idealistic person and always thought, or at least, hoped, that I would find my "one true love" and marry him. It's not to say that I haven't had a bad relationship - I had one for 2 1/2 years with a man that was running away from any sort of committment, and therefore marriage, before I'd even set foot in his life. He ended up breaking it off with me and I was absolutely devastated, on several levels. Devastated mostly because I had slept with him when he didn't love me or wasn't even in love with me yet...and I had held the notion all my life that my first time having sex would be on my wedding night or if before then, with someone I loved and who loved me back.......I thought I could make him love me After some time passed, he did love me, but not freely, unconditionally or blissfully.

So after I got myself back together a bit the devastation started to pass and I really got to a content place...and I wholeheartedly TRUSTED AND BELIEVED that whoever my soulmate was would come into my life when the time was right...then along came my (now) husband