Lost Love(Closed to garajd and Marine_biochild)

[marine_biochild]

Gwendolyn Ann was in the process of moving her entire life to not only a new city but a new state. Leaving her life behind and everything that went with it. She was leaving the past in the past, the lonely nights, the tear felt moments curled up with ice cream and a spoon on the couch by herself. Nothing had been quite right since the wedding. She had attempted the dating scene, had her fair share of romances but whenever things truly got serious she always found herself pulling back. It seemed no one could truly fill the void her best friend had left.


******* 20 years earlier*******
"I object!" The voice cried out as the church doors were slung open. Her eyes shot to the man she had spent her life with. Her best friend and the most important person in her life.

"I'm sorry for interrupting this service, but I have to say something first. Gwen, I'm in love with you. I have since the second grade when we first met. I tried to tell you multiple times, but you never seemed to understand how I meant it. I know I have no right to say this, but you needed to know how I felt, honestly for once," He shouted shaking like a leaf. His words spoken and his heart obviously broken her turned, running out. Disappearing as quickly as he appears.

"Who the hell was that!" Hands gripped hers at the alter as she stared out at the man she had known all her life. She could hear her mother cursing and reprimanding him for ruining such a day. She could feel her groom squeezing her hands. But everything felt as though it was off in the distance. A mirage that wasn't entirely there.

"Gwen. What is your response." It was the Priest who held the bible tight in his hand. Looking around at the many guests she thought about everything in that moment. None of this was what she wanted. How could she have not seen the writing on the walls. The way he had always laughed with her even if it wasn't funny. How he had doted on her, cared for her always with a smile on his face. The way he hugged her when she was down. Tears touched her eyes as she stood at the alter.

Looking to her groom she shook her head in silence. She hadn't wanted this wedding. She had wanted something small, a simply dress, a simple wedding. Now she was standing there in a dress that not only was to tight and covered in glitter but was so filled with fluff she wouldn't be able to sit down. There were hundreds of people sitting there, gawking at her. This wasn't her life!

Taking a step back she shook her head again. "I... I'm sorry. I just." She looked around one last time. "I can't." Turning she pulled up her dress just enough to run down the stairs and out of her own wedding and into her own life. Only to find the one person she needed in her life no where to be found.

******Present*******

She had taken the red eye flight to her new home, making it in just in time to begin unpacking enough to find her suit and work things. She barely managed to tame her bright red hair as she walked out the door. She was scheduled to have a tour of the her new 'office' before sitting down to do paperwork.

The building was grand, and her 'tour guide' was very kind. He took her up and down each floor, telling her who was who and explaining each department thoroughly before moving on. "And up here ma'am is HR if you ever have any questions about paperwork of logistics of anything that comes with the job feel free to stop in. They will happily help you."

She smiled hugging her things to her chest. "Thank you. This is such a beautiful office. I can't wait to get to work." Looking around she wasn't taking any time to watch ahead of her. Before she knew what hit her, a door was opened in her face causing her to topple on her heels. She barely had time to catch herself before she was sprawled on the floor, folders everywhere and her suit in disarray.

 

[garajd]

Alan Henderson, 52, owner and CEO of Henderson Consulting, one the top computer security consulting firms in the city had just finished a meeting with his attorney and the attorneys representing his top three lieutenants. He was negotiating the sale of his business to the three senior staff members and all these damn meeting were getting under his skin. Although the seller and the 3 buyers were in agreement on everything, the damn attorneys, as the saying goes, could "fuck up a soup sandwich". Once they had all exited his office, he opened the side door to head down to the office of the new executive assistant to his Finance Director.

Alan prided himself on knowing all of his employees; not getting involved in the hiring process, but meeting them face to face when they came on board. As he opened the door to go to the CFO's suite, he discovered the issue of having a door open "into" a hallway, rather than into his office. Whoever was coming down the hallway just got blindsided with the door . . . papers, files, and obviously, a person, flying everywhere.

As he stepped around the door, he saw Bob, an assistant in the CFO's department, and someone, on the floor, he didn't know . . . probably the new employee. As he reached out a hand to assist her in getting up, he froze . . . Yes, it had been 20 years, but that face was one he would never forget, no matter how many years had passed.

"Gwen . . . Gwen . . . is it really you? Please come in and sit down for a minute. Bob, I will bring her over in just a few minutes. We are old acquaintances and haven't seen each other for about 20 years."

 

[marine_biochild]

Things had been off to such a great start until that bloody door opened. Someone stepped out, someone she didn't know until she heard their voice. Freezing her gaze halted on his face. Could it be? Truly?

"Alan...Is that..." Her stomach flipped as he puled her to her feet. Wobbling slightly on her heel she tried to pull herself into some semblance of order. "What... what are you doing here? I didn't know you were working here." Her mind was a blur of confusion as he waved over her guide. Swallowing she stared up into the face that, although was now creased with some age still held the kindness of the man she once knew.

"I can't believe it's truly you. It has been to long." Deep inside she could feel her heart squeezing in her chest. She wondered how he had been. Had he married? Kids? What did his life look like now?

 

[garajd]

"Well, I don't actually 'work' here. I own this company, but I'm getting ready to sell it to your new boss, and two other vice presidents. So, I will be out of here within a couple of months; although, I did agree to come back and help the transition with a few of the major clients."

Waving you to a chair in front of my desk; I take the other one beside you. I see you scanning the pictures on the credenza . . . pictures of my two teen-agers, but no pic of their mother. "Those are my kids back there . . . 15 and 13. Their mom and I split several years ago; I was buried in getting the company going . . . came home early one afternoon and found her naked in the pool with our neighbor. I've got a condo down town now and see fairly regularly."

"What brings you to the city . . . and to Henderson Consulting?"

 

[marine_biochild]

The pictures told the story, two kids who love their father, a CEO working to make ends meet and ensure they had a future. She could see the work he had put into the company. The devotion to his kids. Rubbing her arm she turned back to him. "I'm.... so sorry to hear that." Is was a whisper on her lips. Somewhere deep within her she felt something break. He had moved on, had a family, kids, a life after he left.

She forced herself back into reality. He had asked her a question. She had a choice now, be positive or tell the grim details. High road. At least that's what she told herself. "Well, to be honest I was tired of the old town. To many memories, not enough new ones. You're hiring manager actually came to me after I put my resume online to look into a few places outside of the state. When they made the offer I jumped. I hated my old job, they didn't take my work seriously because I'm a woman and they couldn't bring themselves out of the Forties so here I am. Packed everything up and moved. I didn't really have anything tying me down back home anyways."

Turning in her seat she stared up at him, scanning his face before finally making her decision. "You look good Alan. I'm glad we got to talk but....it is my first day, I should probably head back to finish paperwork. The last thing I want is to waste anyone's time." She forced herself to stand, to keep moving so he didn't notice how nervous she was or how she wanted to apologize for so many years ago. Taking his hand she shook it before turning towards the door. "Maybe....we could go for coffee some time, truly catch up. I can't say I haven't missed you. Things, weren't quite the same after you left."

 

[garajd]

"I would like to do that, Gwen . . . I'm sure we have a lot to catch up on." Deep down I want to say more, that as much as I loved their mom at the time, Gwen was never completely out of my heart, buried deep in a corner, waiting for the right time to re-appear . . . guess today is that day.

"Let me walk you over to your department and make sure that Frank knows why you are running late on your first day. Kind of like a tardy slip from the principal's office . . . at least while I still have this office."

As we reach my office door, I put my arm around your shoulder and give you a gentle squeeze, "It really is good to see you again Gwen."

 

[marine_biochild]

His arm was strong but the feelings that flooded her were stronger. She had to swallow the lump that seemed to appear in her throat as she leaned into him. Wrapping one arm around his back she returned the gesture before stepping away. She knew she couldn't keep up the facade. That soon the wall would crumble around her and she would be the shell of a woman. The same woman he had left standing at the alter alone and confused.

"Guess it's a good thing I know the principal." She joked following him along the corridor. "I'm assuming you know the area. I just got in today and am not sure where my pots and pans are, any good eateries you could recommend?" If she kept things up beat she knew she could keep them talking, keep in his company a little longer. All that the day had left was paperwork to finalize her job before the weekend. She had managed to come on a Friday to get things in order before starting her week fresh on Monday.

She had plans of un-boxing her home the whole weekend but now she feared it would instead be used to think about how to correctly act around her new CEO. At least for the remainder of his ownership.

 

[garajd]

(WTF am I thinking!!) "Give me your address. I'll give you time in the morning to get your place organized. I'll pick you up about 4:00 and show you around the area a bit and then take you to one of my favorite places to eat. It's nothing fancy, so just dress casual. I'll be in jeans and a knit shirt."

Taking you into the Finance Department, I turn you over to Frank, telling him not to give you any special treatment because you and I went to school together. "Frank, when you get Gwen settled in her office, come over for a few minutes. I want to discuss our meeting with the attorneys. I want to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible."

 

[marine_biochild]

"Give me your address"

The words almost send her back onto the floor. He was offering to take her around, show her the area and take her to dinner. Taking a moment to get a level head she gave him a smile, offering her new address before stepping into her new office.

"It was nice seeing you and I'll be ready tomorrow." It was a simple goodbye but she felt as if her heart was soaring. It took an extra amount of effort to follow Franks instructions before she was able to go home.

The night was spent unpacking, attempting to riffle through items and find their correct spots before moving on. She hated unpacking but knew the scattered boxes would drive her up the wall. Once her bathroom and bedroom were put together she took a seat on her couch to take a breather only to fall back into thoughts about Alan.

 

[garajd]

Headed back to my office and waited for Frank. He and I were in complete agreement on the substance of the meeting earlier today. He and his partners are ready to take over the organization; and I know they will be extremely successful in their efforts. This will give me all the money I need . . . and the time to so with it what I want. I have already decided to sell the downtown condo and find a nice house in the suburbs . . . maybe even a cabin on the lake about an hour out of town.

As I was crawling into bed on Friday night, a thought of two of Gwen crossed my mind, but since we had never really dated in school, I pushed the thoughts aside quickly and sleep thru the night. Saturday morning, I pick up the kids for breakfast. Saturday morning, 2 or 3 times a month, is catch-up time with the kids.

Dropping them off at home, after they talk me into a shopping trip to the mall, I head home and take in a ball game on TV before showering and heading toward your apartment. Pulling up in front in my Land Rover, I see you standing out in front waiting for me . . . dressed casually, but damned attractive . . . and if I'm not careful, desirable!!

 

[marine_biochild]

The morning was a whirlwind of unpacking chaos. There was bubble wrap thrown everywhere, boxes folded flat in large stacks against the wall. Pictures hung in some places and in others bare walls. By the time she needed to get ready she was exhausted. Sitting in the middle of her living room floor she looked around, taking in her progress before thinking about what she should wear.

An hour later she was standing in front of her place, long red hair braided over her shoulder, dark jeans that hugged her hips and a simple sweater as green as her eyes. Seeing him pull up she couldn't help but smile. Pulling herself up into the seat she chuckled.

"Looks as though you never did get out of your Rover phase." It was a tease but a genuine smile played on her lips. "Thank you for taking me around. It's.....nice to have an old friend near by." There were so many things she left unsaid, so many feelings she wanted to express but instead she settled for a gentle touch of his arm before buckling up.

 

[garajd]

As he shoved the gear shift into Park and prepared to hop out and open the door for Gwen, her hand was already on the door and she was sliding into the seat . . . giving him a nice view of her tight ass in her jeans. And the sweater didn't help either . . . matching her eyes and definitely showing her curves better than the business suit she wore to the office yesterday. Alan was doing pretty well until, Gwen touched his arm before grabbing the seat belt. That sent a shiver thru his body . . . and a familiar twitch in his groin, one he hadn't felt for quite a while.

"Yeah, it was a toss-up between the Rover and the Corvette; next time I'll take the top off the Vette and we can let the wind ruin our hair. How about an early dinner and then we spend some time driving and around and showing you the area? I know a small Italian place close by that has great food and an outdoor seating area."

 

[marine_biochild]

He smiled out her, that same smirk that always felt like home. After so many years it still made her feel welcomed, safe.... loved. She needed to change her thoughts before the look of wanting was betrayed in her face. "Italian sounds great and a Vette? Go figure. Who would have thought you'd buy anything but a Rover." She teased before leaning back into the seat.

The drive was a comfortable silence, one that reminded her of simpler times. Memories itches at the back of her mind before she couldn't help but speak. "Remember the old Anderson place.... we used to sneak out late at night and lay in their yard because they didn't have any tree. We could see the stars and we'd talk about all the silly things teens wished they had." Turning to him she couldn't help the childlike smile that touched her face. The age may be changed his looks but his face.... it was still the same. Just as handsome, just as devilish.

 

[garajd]

Pulling up to the Italian restaurant, Alan hopped out and hurried around to open the door for Gwen; as she stepped down, he opened his arms, "After all these years, I think we deserve a proper hug.

Not much of a hesitation, Gwen takes a step forward to be engulfed by Alan's arms, pulling her close, probably closer that necessary, and probably longer than necessary, but neither was ready to make the break.

Eventually, tho, Alan dropped his arms, took her by the hand and led her toward the entrance of the restaurant.

 

[marine_biochild]

His arms were strong around her small frame, the smell of spice and something she couldn't quite pin filled her senses. Everything felt right with the world in that short moments though it seemed like ages to her. It was as if the world had stopped for them, even if it was just in her mind.

Taking his hand she followed, leaning into him as they entered only to soon take a seat in a small booth. Nestled in the corner she was able to look at the tidy little eatery, faux stucco on the walls, embellished Italian art. It was cozy to say the least.

Turning to her dinner partner she couldn't help but chuckle. "It's so quaint. I think I love this place already. So tell me Alan. What have I missed all these years, besides the marriage and the children?" She asked lightly touching his hand as she skimmed the menu. She couldn't help but want to be as close to him as possible, fearing he would vanish in the blink of an eye.

 

[garajd]

Feeling her hand on top of his, he dropped the menu on the table. He knew what he was going to order. As the server approached, Alan ordered a half-bottle of his favorite house-wine, before turning back to Gwen.

"You haven't missed much . . . you will find out more and more about it in the next few days and months in your new position. I have to be honest with myself and admit that I focused so much on building the business, that everything else in my life took a back seat. I have a couple of great kids I see regularly, but I think they see me mostly as their personal bank."

Sitting back as the wine arrives; we give our orders to the server. Turning back, "I guess that's part of the reason for selling the business to Frank and his associates; wanting to spend more time with the kids and developing a deeper relationship with them."

Deep inside, Alan was already feeling that the future might include Gwen . . . but this was only the second day after all these years.

 

[marine_biochild]

After ordering a glass of red wine she placed her menu down, having decided on what to eat. She listened in silence, her gaze seeming to never leave his face. She almost couldn't believe they were here, they were together again.

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze she knew things may have changed over the years but many things were still just the same. The way he always worried about the little things. "Alan, don't be so hard on yourself. You did something most will never do! You grew a business, provided for your kids and now with a chance to sell it all to be with your children. To ensure you have time with them you are giving it all up. Not many would do that. Still the same man with a heart of gold." There was a gentle tone to her voice, one that seemed to reverberate in her heart. He truly was a god man.

Deep inside she knew she wanted to spend more time with him, hoped they could once again be close but had to much time passed? After what happened so long ago, were the thoughts of something else to childish? The sound of their waitress brought her back. A small house salad and the house specialty she turned back to him to take a sip of her wine.

 

[garajd]

Sipping his wine as Gwen gives her order to the server, Alan orders his usual . . . salad and spaghetti with meat balls . . . he has tried most dishes here, but always come back to the spaghetti. Conversation seems to take a bit of a break as the salads arrive, followed by the entrees. After dinner, a cup of coffee . . . taking her hand again as they walk back to his vehicle.

Turning to Gwen as he climbs in behind the wheel, "It's still early; would you like to drive into the city and see what it looks like from a 15th floor condo?"

 

[marine_biochild]

Dinner was pleasant, a state of comfortable chit chat followed but a silence that seemed natural followed. Once done she allowed him to take her hand, having enjoyed dinner and their time she was happy to join him for a longer night.

"That sounds lovely." She cooed once into the vehicle. Glancing over to him as he drove she couldn't help but smile. "This has been such a wonderful night Alan, thank you for bringing me. It's.... so good to be in your company again. I've missed this, the simple side of things."

 

[garajd]

During the trip down town, the two of them chatted over remembrances dating back to their home town . . . happier days before the "incident" on Gwen's wedding day . . .

Pulling into the basement parking garage of his building, they walked over to the elevator and rode up toward the 15th floor. Alan put his arm around Gwen as the elevator shot up the shaft; stepping out on the 15th floor, there were only two doors . . . Alan's condo occupied half of the floor.

Opening the door, Gwen was immediately drawn to the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked down on the city . . . a spectacular view. Alan stood quietly as Gwen walked toward the window, then walked quietly up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her, cross his hands in front of her chest.

 

[marine_biochild]

The condo was breathtaking but the view had her speechless. Moving forward she couldn't take her eyes off of the city before her. Everything had begun to darken in the setting sun but the lights of the city had turned on, leaving out lines and dots along the horizon.

Slowly he walked to her, his arms wrapping around her small frame. For a short moment everything felt.... right. Slowly she leaned back against his chest, enough to rest her head against his shoulder. "This... is beautiful." She whispered. Carefully she turned her head to look up at him, her large green eyes catching his. Her thoughts were lost on the tip of her tongue as he turned to meet her gaze.

For a moment they stared, as if lost in the silence between them. She could feel her cheeks becoming warm, his arms seemed to tighten around her drawing out a soft, quick inhale. His name was a soft whisper on her lips as she tried not to move, fearing the moment would pass to quickly while she relished the feel of him so close.

 

[garajd]

Feeling her breath on his cheek as she turned her head toward him, Alan felt a bit of a gasp in h is own breathing . . . had it been the right thing to do to invite her back up to his condo on their first contact in 20 years? Something is telling him that, "Yes", this is ok . . .

Lifting a finger, Alan tilted her chin up slightly and leaned in to kiss her tenderly on the lips, releasing a flood of emotions that were never expressed 20+ years ago.

 

[marine_biochild]

His fingers were warm against her chin as he tilted her head up. Her stomach seemed to lurch forward before flipping as his lips pressed against her. Something in that kiss, such a soft and tender thing, opened the emotions she had tucked so neatly away so long. She wanted to be closer to him, to wrap her arms around him and hold on tightly but she knew she couldn't jump. Couldn't run toward what was obviously still there.

Slowly the kiss ended, leaving her face a bright red and her heart beating quickly. She couldn't stifle the smile that spread as she looked up into his face. She didn't know what to say so instead she gently touched his cheek not wanting their connection to end just yet.

 

[garajd]

Touching her cheek with his finger, "I've often wondered what a kiss with you would be like; and now that I know, I have to confess that is much more that I could have even imagined." Turning her around so that they were face to face, Alan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, "It's ok for you to hold me too, Gwen."

Leaning down, not sure who initiated this kiss . . . but it was longer, more intense, feelings being expressed that had been repressed for so long . . . who knows where this will go, but Alan is beginning to find emotions within himself that he never knew existed.

 

[marine_biochild]

"It's ok for you to hold me too, Gwen."

She wasn't sure when the tears started, not how long they had kiss. What she did know was she was holding on as tight as she could, fearing the dream would end. Standing on her toes her arms wrapped around his neck, pressing herself tighter against him as she let her emotions get the best of her. Words never spoken, regrets of letting him walk away. All mixed into a kiss that seemed to overwhelm them both.

This time when they pulled back she found her words, her eyes glassed with the remaining tears that had yet to fall. "If I hold on.... I'll never be able to let you go again Alan....." Leaning up she pressed her forehead against his, her eyes closing as she spoke. "I've missed you so... There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret letting you run... letting you get away that day... all those years ago."