Lootequiette: Pmann's Totally Original/Unaffiliated Thread

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Alright, let's get back to softer subjects like boobs and flaccid cocks for a while.

One of the things I enjoy best about Lit is the collective stories we all share. There are so many stories I read here that are just absolutely wonderful. And I don't mean the kind people write, but your actual experiences.

Today I'd like to ask, what's your most amusing sex story?

I'll tell my story here:

https://voca.ro/kiZfGXeQf36

Song of the Day:

My Ding a Ling by Chuck Berry

https://youtu.be/hMddte6yD2w

hum, amusing but light and not twisted at all, that is a bit of a challenge.

One that always makes me giggle looking back. Have you ever opened a bag of M&Ms with too much force, so the M&Ms fly everywhere? Well, I was going to do that cute, sexy thing, where you put a condom on with your mouth. Instead when I try to open it, it comes shooting out of the wrapper, bounces off his forehead, and I can't stop laughing long enough to fake sexy again.

There was also shower sex where my legs were wrapped around his waist and arms on his shoulders. I decided it would be hotter if I could lean back, so I was going to put my one hand on the wall, and my other on the shower curtain rod. Oh, yes, you know I ripped that rod out of the wall and it fell hitting him, we fell. How else would it work out? I should not try and be sexy, it becomes a hazard to myself and those around me. There is of course, a few dismount and fall off the bed moves in my past, not so distant included. The was a table collapse. No worries though, I am always fine and bounce right back up.

Oh, another one that always makes me smile. I was dating this guy who lived in a dorm. His friend and roommate was this painfully shy, ultra conservative, very polite, quiet, Indian guy. I spent a lot of time in that dorm, but had always managed to be polite and decent, in order to keep things from being awkward. Well, Yomi went away for the weekend and wasn't supposed to be back until later than night. He decided to drive back early to beat traffic. I am happily riding my boyfriend, which has me facing the door. All of the sudden, Yomi walks in, first thing he sees is me, and he looks quite shocked. Rather than attempt to cover up, or let him quietly flee, I immediately respond with "Oh Hey Yomi, How was your trip?". That means Yomi is now stuck politely and uncomfortably answering my question, otherwise he would be rude, while the inquisitor is naked, straddling his friend's cock. Yes, it was very awkward for him for damn near two weeks. Still makes me laugh. He got over it.

 

[StacyLeigh]

Today I'd like to ask, what's your most amusing sex story?

The first time I gave a blowjob (at least 18, obvs....) took place in the bench seat of my bf's truck. I was expecting some kind of signal - a vocal cue or at least a tap on the head before he came. Instead it squirted in my mouth quite unexpectedly and startled me. I pulled my head away and the cum squirted right into his eye. At least he learned to give me a heads up after that

And there was the time I learned I needed to wash my hands 3-4 times after making jalapeño salsa before masturbating....once or twice doesn't stop the burn...

Or the time I moved into a new house and didn't realize (for far too long) that a neighbor could see into my bedroom windows. It wasn't until I was standing on my bed, against the headboard (which was against the windows)….riding my partner's face....that I looked out and saw my neighbor watching (quite pleased) with a coffee in hand.

 

[Jd192235]

The first time I gave a blowjob (at least 18, obvs....) took place in the bench seat of my bf's truck. I was expecting some kind of signal - a vocal cue or at least a tap on the head before he came. Instead it squirted in my mouth quite unexpectedly and startled me. I pulled my head away and the cum squirted right into his eye. At least he learned to give me a heads up after that

And there was the time I learned I needed to wash my hands 3-4 times after making jalapeño salsa before masturbating....once or twice doesn't stop the burn...

Or the time I moved into a new house and didn't realize (for far too long) that a neighbor could see into my bedroom windows. It wasn't until I was standing on my bed, against the headboard (which was against the windows)….riding my partner's face....that I looked out and saw my neighbor watching (quite pleased) with a coffee in hand.

Ohh the questions
1. Did you move your bed or keep it where it was after noticing the neighbor watching
2 do you occasionally wash hands just 1-2 times after making salsa so you can “ feel the bern”.

 

[JerseyJade]

Today I'd like to ask, what's your most amusing sex story?

First thought... Went out with a dude to go see The Lego Movie when it came out. Towards the middle of the movie we did a little making out and touching. When we went back to watching the movie, I kept my hand on his crotch, which felt hard. I kept squeezing and rubbing it. A few minutes later he placed his hand over mine. At first I thought he was going to pull my hand off, but instead he pressed down on the top of my hand and I felt him cum. What I thought was so funny was that he had to go to the bathroom to clean himself up and I could tell he was embarrassed about it. I guess you had to be there to appreciate it, but I thought it was very funny.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

The first time my husband and I were having sex (he was fresh off a plane from the US and I jumped him the moment we walked in my door) we were just consuming each other. For some reason, I thought I heard him ask for me to stick my finger up his ass. Odd for a first date, but ok. Apparently he did not.

Thankfully we had a good laugh about it and we still wanted to hang out/get married.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

The first time my husband and I were having sex (he was fresh off a plane from the US and I jumped him the moment we walked in my door) we were just consuming each other. For some reason, I thought I heard him ask for me to stick my finger up his ass. Odd for a first date, but ok. Apparently he did not.

Thankfully we had a good laugh about it and we still wanted to hang out/get married.

omg. hahaha. This really made me laugh. Thank you very much for your misunderstanding and for sharing it.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

My college GF and I were going at it hard in the shower...

As she climaxed she grabbed the faucet and tried to use it as leverage as to keep from falling as her knees buckled. As it came off in her hand...the pipe in the wall broken...and water started spraying all over the bathroom...we discovered the shutoff valve was in the basement below our feet.

Which required a naked/barely covered with a towel race out of the bathroom.

At which point I was forced to run essentially naked with a prominent tent in my towel right past my GF's older sister who had come home in the 2 minutes after the leak.

Yeah....that didn't end with me blushing badly or anything. But I fixed the pipe better than it was before, and led to a series of jokes for months about how lucky her sister (my GF) was.

 

[Lord Pmann]

First thought... Went out with a dude to go see The Lego Movie when it came out. Towards the middle of the movie we did a little making out and touching. When we went back to watching the movie, I kept my hand on his crotch, which felt hard. I kept squeezing and rubbing it. A few minutes later he placed his hand over mine. At first I thought he was going to pull my hand off, but instead he pressed down on the top of my hand and I felt him cum. What I thought was so funny was that he had to go to the bathroom to clean himself up and I could tell he was embarrassed about it. I guess you had to be there to appreciate it, but I thought it was very funny.

This story made me think of another one of my own. When I was 18, my girlfriend and I were in the theater. She was giving me a handjibber in a crowded theater and I came ALL over my pants. And I had on navy slacks (because I’m not an animal), so it was awfully visible. To make matters worse, I was on crutches due to a foot surgery. And as a joke (which ended up being on myself), I got a bright pink cast. So, I’m hobbling out of the theater with a pink cast, on crutches with a shot of ectoplasm all down the front of my pants. And it wasn’t like I could cover up or hurry out.

Damn you and your sexy movies, Diane Lane.

 

[StacyLeigh]

Ohh the questions
1. Did you move your bed or keep it where it was after noticing the neighbor watching
2 do you occasionally wash hands just 1-2 times after making salsa so you can “ feel the bern”.

1. I kept it there, but tried to be more cognizant of closing the curtains. I’m not an animal

2. That kind of burn is not one you create for pleasure...at all...

 

[JerseyJade]

This story made me think of another one of my own. When I was 18, my girlfriend and I were in the theater. She was giving me a handjibber in a crowded theater and I came ALL over my pants. And I had on navy slacks (because I’m not an animal), so it was awfully visible. To make matters worse, I was on crutches due to a foot surgery. And as a joke (which ended up being on myself), I got a bright pink cast. So, I’m hobbling out of the theater with a pink cast, on crutches with a shot of ectoplasm all down the front of my pants. And it wasn’t like I could cover up or hurry out.

Damn you and your sexy movies, Diane Lane.

Good Lord!

 

[Jd192235]

Alright, let's get back to softer subjects like boobs and flaccid cocks for a while.

One of the things I enjoy best about Lit is the collective stories we all share. There are so many stories I read here that are just absolutely wonderful. And I don't mean the kind people write, but your actual experiences.

Today I'd like to ask, what's your most amusing sex story?

I'll tell my story here:

https://voca.ro/kiZfGXeQf36

Song of the Day:

My Ding a Ling by Chuck Berry

https://youtu.be/hMddte6yD2w

Oh boy I have several here, right after college i was living in Chicago and had a very sexy friend who I’d hand out w a lot, she had a bf in NY , so we didn’t fool around , one day we had been at a street festival all day , having drinks and fun, well that night we finally gave into temptation, multiple times, well the next morning I clean up a bit and can only find 2 of the 3 condoms, thought maybe we didn’t use one the last time.... fast forward 1 week he comes into town, is going down on her and finds the condom.... still inside of her..... all he said is I’m very disappointed to her. Needless to say she disappointed him many more times w me that summer

 

[Jd192235]

1. I kept it there, but tried to be more cognizant of closing the curtains. I’m not an animal

2. That kind of burn is not one you create for pleasure...at all...

I know, I’ve peed after making salsa , and after beers and hot wings. I feel your pain

 

[Lord Pmann]

Happy Thursday, everyone. Today's topic is quick and succinct.

I was talking with someone yesterday about how one changes over the years. Some of us are the same people.

The question is... How have you changed over the years? How are you compared to your younger years? What's the biggest change? What has stayed the same?

 

[Suz_anne]

The question is... How have you changed over the years? How are you compared to your younger years? What's the biggest change? What has stayed the same?

Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Most of me is the same, but I think the biggest difference is that I’m much more relaxed now than when I was younger. I was more uptight, I didn’t see things as clearly and I was more emotionally charged (and angry).

I wish I was as cool as I am now when I was a kid. I would have had better sex stories to tell.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Happy Thursday, everyone. Today's topic is quick and succinct.

I was talking with someone yesterday about how one changes over the years. Some of us are the same people.

The question is... How have you changed over the years? How are you compared to your younger years? What's the biggest change? What has stayed the same?

Well, I would think the majority of us change, yet are still much the same. There are certain processes that go hand in hand with aging. For example, younger people are usually more motivated by gain. Gaining objects, money, new experiences. Older people are usually more motivate by preventing loss. Younger people are usually more sensation seeking, older people are usually more risk adverse. Younger people are usually more headstrong, older people are usually more amicable. Even though there are starting points all along the human spectrum for many personality traits, most still experience the trend of change in these traits, including myself. I am still rather high on sensation seeking and low on risk aversion, but nothing like when I was younger. I think the biggest factor was having a child. I thought I'd be immune to the whole anxiety ridden mom thing. I was going to be the fun parent. Alas, grapes and hot dogs became enemies for a couple of years, he climbs too high - what if he falls, etc. I am now the person that keeps trying to hold her child's hand on the Ferris Wheel to make sure he doesn't fall, regardless of the fact that isn't logical and it annoys him. Even though I know I will land on my feet, I don't just quit my job if it isn't making me happy, because I don't want to impact him. I used to be the life of the party, maybe I am still quite lively there, but it is a very different kind of party. I enjoy them too, though. I was very idealistic in my teens, jaded in my 20s, more balanced now. I was more headstrong when I was young, I am much more agreeable now. I was full throttle in my younger years, I am much more restrained now.
Surprisingly, I think I am more open now, than I was then, and I was open then. Many things have changed along the way.

However, when compared to that age group, and my current age group, the same adjectives still hold true. Fun loving, adventure seeking, risk taking, head strong, open, high energy. Oh yes, I am much more mild now, but so is everyone else. I went and got old along with everyone else. Thus I'm rather different, yet still very much the same.

 

[Daisy_Love]

I think the older I’ve become the biggest change for me is I worry less of what others think of me. In my younger years it was something I ruminated on a lot. Was I good enough, was I clever enough etc. I don’t think I’ve changed much over the years, my moral compass, values etc pretty much remain the same. I feel freer to express myself and not be too concerned about what others think. Material things seem to matter less and my focus is much more about being the best I can be, to value the important things in life, family, loved ones, friends.

 

[Dribble]

Of course most everyone changes. If one doesn't evolve, then how can one adapt to changes around us? I care about fellow humans today...even the morons that life should breed out. That was not always the case.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’m incredibly similar. Very little about my personality has changed. I’ve become much more understanding (shuddup, fuckers). I used to really struggle to see the point of view of others. I do strive to do that now. I’m less likely to get in arguments. #TrueStory

My interests are pretty similar. My tastes in women have not changed. I like most of the same music.

As I write this, I wonder if I should’ve changed more. But I was just so fucking awesome at 19, why change it? Now there’s just more of me, thanks to pizza. And less hair, thanks to my fucking grandfather.

 

[RaineDrops]

Happy Thursday, everyone. Today's topic is quick and succinct.

I was talking with someone yesterday about how one changes over the years. Some of us are the same people.

The question is... How have you changed over the years? How are you compared to your younger years? What's the biggest change? What has stayed the same?

Some things have changed with time. I don't take as many risks as I did when I was younger. Neither online, nor in real life. I don't trust anyone or anything so easily anymore. But I am more understanding than I was, if that makes sense.

I still worry about what other people think of me, but I would like to believe I worry about it less than I did before. My sexual preferences have remained pretty much the same. My beliefs and values haven't changed much either.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

 

[StacyLeigh]

The question is... How have you changed over the years? How are you compared to your younger years? What's the biggest change? What has stayed the same?

I’ve certainly changed but not as much as I would have thought. I think I’ve always been older than my age...more cautious, more responsible, more thoughtful than anyone my age. I think I’ve kept those same traits, but I’m more aware now that sometimes those things need to be set aside for fun.

I’ve been through a few really tough hurdles that have made me both stronger and weaker in different ways. I guess that evens out.

I’m still a little shy and gullible...that will likely never change .

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I've grown a lot. I've shed a ton of toxic behavior I learnt as a child and developed a worldview based on my experiences and listening to other's stories. I'm essentially the "same person" but my guess is I'd be unrecognisable to people who haven't seen me in 15-20 years. Some of it is maturity but it's also being willing to change my perspective when I learn new information.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Someone above mentioned something that spawns today's topic...

*EDIT- SCRATCH THIS TOPIC AS IT IS UNAPPROVED BY THE (M)ASSES- scroll down*

Do you worry about how people perceive you? Does it bother you when people don't like you? Do you sometimes do things you wish you didn't in order to get public approval?

 

[Orchidea73]

Someone above mentioned something that spawns today's topic...

Do you worry about how people perceive you? Does it bother you when people don't like you? Do you sometimes do things you wish you didn't in order to get public approval?

I thought you did ask these questions already.

 

[Corbal]

Someone above mentioned something that spawns today's topic...

Do you worry about how people perceive you? Does it bother you when people don't like you? Do you sometimes do things you wish you didn't in order to get public approval?

No. No. No.

What a boring topic.