Looking to talk/learn about sex

[Dreamtwine]

I just want someone to talk to about sex. I'm in a great relationship with my girlfriend, but I want to know how to turn her on, and how to please her, as I don't think I'm doing a very good job. Any ideas, however obscure would be nice. Thanks.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

Hi there and welcome to Lit.

What makes you think there is a problem?

 

[Dreamtwine]

Well I don't think there particularly is a problem. I know she enjoys it. I'm just looking for ways to turn her on. Cause I don't think I really do that. During sex is fine, before sex... i think could be better.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

Well, foreplay is a good starting point. And there is a lot you can do to leading up to foreplay. Sort of fore-foreplay.

Gentle kisses, leading to a marathon make-out session.

Many touching, caressing.

Have you tried role-playing, or introducing fantasy. What does she like? What is a fantasy you can fulfill for her?

What about watching a porn movie? Let her pick it out, then have her tell you what she likes.

And most importantly...Have you asked her what you could do for her?

 

[Dreamtwine]

Oh yes, I've asked her many times. But the only response I can get from her with an open ended question like that is "I don't know". Which I don't think she really does either. I'm basically the only one she's been with. I try to introduce her to new things. But I think a porn would be a good idea. Though when we first started going out she wanted me to stop looking at porn, I think now she might think differently. Especially if I were watching one with her. She never masturbates so I don't think she really knows what she likes. But it's not because she doesn't get horny. She does get horny, but it seems to only be around me. But thanks, I will suggest the porn.

Oh yeah, and any tips on shaving down there? I helped her out, but she said it's really itchy. Can this be avoided? Or is it a lost cause? Thanks again.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

Shaving ~~ well, I find it only gets itchy as it grows out. So, if she likes it shaved, it is best to keep at it. Be sure to rub a good lotion on after. She might try a wax. I am really bad at keeping up with this, and since I am not very hairy, I tend to just trim.

Do you encourage her to masturbate? Or do you know why she does not? I think that is really important, both so she can discover what she likes and for her own pleasure. What about if you asked her to masturbate for you? Or you could try buying her a vibrator...ask her to go with you to an adult toy store and both of you pick something out.

 

[wildrose70]

Okay i have the big question???? Do you or have you done oral on her...has she ever done this for you...foreplay is very important...nothing like a lot of french kissing,, breast touching,,kissing the whole body...oh so many ways to get here turned on...I dont think you will have to worry about you or her having to masturbate..frankly thats not something I feel comfortable doing with someone else..but lovemaking is a whole different story...i find that I'm very sensitive on on breast particulary....touch that and I'm off and running and of course deep deep kissing...tongues touching...MMMMMMm

Hope some of this helps....

 

[Dreamtwine]

I actually did buy her a vibrator. But she just leaves it at my place anyway. And I do ask her to masturbate for me, both so I can see what she does and because it's a heck of a turn on for me. But I don't think she lasts very long before she jumps on me. I think she doesn't masturbate because she's not horny. I think I'll try to talk to her about masturbating tonight. The thing is, she's away at home for winter break. We're in college. So I'm over here pretty lonely, but I think she's fine. Oh well... I'll see what I can get out of her. Thanks for your help.

Oh, and she did trim before I asked her to shave. The thing with that is when I go down on her it's scratchy. But if worst comes to worst it's not that bad. And keeping that sorta thing in mind, I also shave any hair on the base of my penis and my balls. I don't think she cares either way though. What do you think?

 

[Dreamtwine]

wildrose

Hey wildrose, thanks for the response. I have gone down on her and she's gone down on me and we've gone down on each other. I was actually trying to figure out a way to turn her on before we're both naked. For instance, if she dresses up, or heck, if she just wears a skirt, I'm turned on. But I don't know how to turn her on before we're in bed. I have tried dressing up for her but she'll just say I look cute or something. What turns you on before you're naked? What makes you want to get naked in the first place? That's what I'm after. Thanks.

 

[Sienna]

Oh Dreamtwine....

This might sound negative to you....but I think you should accept her body as it is.....if she doesn't want to shave then thats it.

You see, I find if a lover is too pushy with me it could be a reason for turning off the ignition. I think serious sex is two people doing something really good between each other no matter how different they are in their ideas about each other.

Serious sex is between two "lovers". If you both love each other then you will both respect each others differences and let nature take over.

However, if you two are just doing sex for pure lust, then you really do have to work on your "scripts" because then it is about doing it for kicks and perhaps role-play. Like acting, one of you have to be the director and be obeyed.

So first of all, think about your relationship. Love or lust?

Thanks....

Sienna. xxx

 

[Dreamtwine]

Point well taken...

You're totally right. If she doesn't want to I won't force her to. And I haven't. She's only done it that one time. But the thing is, we both like. We just don't like the side affects, the itchiness and all that. So I thought if I could find a way of avoiding that, we could both be happy. I'm sorry if I seemed pushy or something. I enjoy trying new things, but if she doesn't like them, she'll tell me and I won't do it. And this is the only reason why I'm able to try new things with her. Because she trusts me, and I trust her. And this definatly isn't a lust relationship, sex is just a nice addition to what we already have. I'm just looking for fun ways to enhance it.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

Scratchy pubic hairs....hmmm. She can use a conditioning body soap, the liquid kind. And a soft sea sponge, that might get her in the masturbating mood as well! I use a lot of body lotion or baby oil after every shower and find that keeps most of my parts smooth. But, yes I do agree with Sienna in that you have to accept her body, flaws and all, as it is. Don't ask her to make changes that she is not comfortable with or does not want to do.

As far as you shaving or trimming, ask her what she likes or wants. And more importantly do what you like best. I really don't have much of an opinoin on the matter. I am a cock lover, either way!

Does she orgasm while masturbating before she jumps on you?

If she is satisfied with your sex life, do you think you are really the one that is not happy?

Things that turn me on before I am naked are those very unexpected things that happen. An ass grab and a kiss while I am making dinner, kisses in front of the TV. Dirty words whispered in my ear. The little things, say a lot!

 

[Dreamtwine]

Wow, I'm glad I posted something on here. These are some pretty thought provoking questions and comments that you are raising. I'm pretty sure that I'm satisfied with the sex that we have. I just think that I'm concerned, maybe overly so, with whether or not she's satisfied to the extent of my abilities.

But your comment about the little things. Brilliant! I think I let myself get too caught up in bigger things, but I'm sure that little things like that would do the trick. I'll have to remember that.

And I was trying to think of a gift to get her that was sensual in nature, but not too much so. I think maybe your idea of a conditioning body soap might be nice. And a sea sponge too. I think she'd enjoy those, if not in a sexual way, then in a good natured clean way. So thanks for that.

And I don't think she has an orgasm when masturbating for me. I don't think she's ever had one so I don't think she knows. She'll say, I think I had one, but I think she'd know, so I don't think she has.

Anyway, thanks again for the tips. I probably wouldn't be able to help you with anything, but I'll be glad to try if you have any questions.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

Might I reccomend a book for you and she ~~ It is called "The Clitorial Truth" It starts out a little sketchy, but keep reading. It talks in great lengths about masturbating and actually has a lot of clinical type facts. I think she might gain some use from it. It also has several masturbating techniques that may prove helpful. I think that working on her orgasm might be a first step. Make sure you talk about it a lot. My guess is if she only "thinks" she has had one, she may not have.

One of my favorite was to orgasm is finger play. Lay next to her and take the first two finger of whichever hand is easier and slowly rub them on her clit. Gradually increase the pressure and the intensity, along with the speed. You may want to slip and additonal finger inside of her for g-spot stimulation (that book also gives great tips on finding that!). Continue to increase the speed at which your fingers move until she hits that special point.
The vibrator is also a great tool to find that first orgasm. Especially if you are using it on her.

Yes, Bath and Body Works at your nearest Mall will have a great selection of body lotions and soaps. Also try The Body Shop, those are great. Your might even pop into a Victoria's Secret. They have great silk PJ's too (not just naughty stuff and panties and bras). And lotions.

 

[Dreamtwine]

Hey thanks for the tip, I just ordered the book at Amazon and I'll have to go to the store next week for the soap and sponge. Thanks for all of your help and your tips.

I think that I need to be patient during foreplay. I think I want to try and tease her more. Prolong everything and drag it out more. I think this might help a little bit. And then your idea of building everything up, I do that but I need to do it slower I think. Wow, I'm really looking forward to trying all of this out. I enjoy learning new things regarding sex and have looked all over the web for more educational websites but this is probably the best way to do it. One on one learning.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

All this advice comes with a price, Mister!

You must come back here and tell me how it went!

You may want to check out the Sexual Role Play area of Lit, maybe share a story with her. Or start a story thread with her. Writing together can drive up that passion when the two of you cannot be together.

I aim to please, so you are very very welcome!

 

[Dreamtwine]

I would be glad to tell you how it goes. But you'll have to wait a little while. She doesn't come back to school until the 19th. So I guess I have plenty of time to accumulate more ideas and maybe discuss them with her.

Regarding your story advice, I was actually thinking about writing her an email of a fantasy of mine or something like that. And then either getting her thoughts on it or having her continue it. I think this would probably be down the same lines as your idea. I think we'll have to try it on our own before she'll be willing to do it online. But then again, she never ceases to amaze me. She may be really into it. We'll see.

 

[Guest]

Dreamtwine

Next time you're down there eating that fine ,young pussy slip your finger slowly and gently up her tight, puckered asshole and watch her climb the wall. She'll cum----I'll guarantee it....



~~~HotManure~~~

 

[Dreamtwine]

Actually I've tried that before. She likes it, but I don't think it made her orgasm. Thanks for the tip though. It definately makes her squirm.

 

[lasciviously_yours]

I think an erotic e-mail would be great! The writen word is very powerful! Especially when you make it personal to the person you are writing for! Make sure to discuss it with her later!

 

[Sienna]

The writen word is very powerful! Especially when you make it personal to the person you are writing for!

Dreamtwine.......this is so true!....Even a poem to her expressing your feelings about her would be a precious gift....

Sie. xxx

 

[VanB]

Dreamtwine

The most sensual part of a woman's body is her mind - if you talk to her her about sex and her fantasies and find out what creams her twinkie you have it made. With the right type of talk, building the anticipation of sex, and varying your fantasies together you can have the wildest sex of your life.

I guarantee that if you turn on her mind she will come and come again - try it whilst she is masturbating I'm sure she will come for you then. BTW do you masturbate at the same time - if not she might feel less embarrassed if you did.

Some small thoughts for you to consider

 

[Rupali]

Words and surprises... Words are really powerful, and sexy words that are unexpected are twice as powerful. My boyfriend has sent me sexy emails before and that got me amazingly turned on. And sometimes while we're out, just talking about something random, he'll get a wicked smile on his face and say something sexually explicit. Of course, I have to drag him home and tear his clothes off then

 

[VanB]

Rupali

You're talking the same game as me - get the mind flowing and the juices will too!

 

[Dreamtwine]

Doh!

Well I actually brought up some of the ideas you guys talked about but evidently it's too overwhelming for my girl. So I don't think I'll be doing anything for a while. Which is fine. Thanks for all the help though. Much appreciated.