MDuchess
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2012
- Posts
- 4
Hello! I'm looking to find an editor to look at my story, A Slut's Punishment on the Green, about a Master taking his slave to a golf outing with his buddies. It's a BDSM and Gang Bang story. I'd like an editor to look through my story for any spelling or grammatical mistakes, as well as give me suggestions on how to improve and to be sure that I am consistent with characters and their names.
My story is about 9000 words, which runs to 17 pages on Word in 12-point Arial font. I'd prefer my story to be edited within one or two weeks, if possible. The earlier, the better.
I have published one other story; however, it is very different from A Slut's Punishment on the Green. You can view it here: http://www.literotica.com/s/a-wife-and-her-dildo
I will post a few hundred words of my story below so you can see if this is something you'd like to edit:
“Get up, slave,” Master Nicolas said. “We are going on a little outing today.”
Slave was wearing nothing, as usual, and trailed along behind Master Nicolas. She noticed he had a golf bag with him, which she had never seen before.
“Master, are we going golfing?”
Master gave her a hard blow across her backside for speaking out of turn, making her nearly topple over. “When will you learn not to speak, slave? You try my patience each new day.”
Slave bowed her head in shame. “I'm so sorry, Master, please forgive me.”
Master put his finger into her mouth and she sucked on it dutifully. “Perhaps I will forgive you, if you perform well for me today. Tell me slave, have you golfed before?”
“No sir, I haven't ever golfed, sir.”
“Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. You won't be golfing anyway. However, myself and a few friends will be on the golf course today -”
“Will I get to come along, please?”
“Silence!” Two blows this time, and Master watched as the blood rushed to her ass. “I have to punish you now, bad girl. I can't believe you are ruining my day already and it isn't even 6 o'clock.”
Slave looked up, her big brown eyes getting wet. She pleaded to Master with her features.
“Do you think I'm weak, slave?” She shook her head furiously. “I do not fall for your silly games. Now, bend over.”
She did as she was told. First Master would hit her ass with his hands. He liked to smack the left side first, then the right, and alternate. Sometimes he would hit both cheeks at once. Master got lost in his punishment of slave, but slave would say nothing.
Sometimes Master would use an object he found near him at the time of her wrongdoing. He had used a broom handle, a dust pan, a brush paddle, a rope, a wet towel, and even a rolled up newspaper, like she was a dog. He even made her bark for him, which she did.
Today he used his hands, and after her ass was sufficiently warmed, he cleared his throat. Slave could tell he was aroused, and wanted more than anything to be able to smile and look at him, but that would only make him more upset. Slave knew Master wanted to punish her without getting aroused, but she also knew that her ass was very pleasing to him.
“I will now strike you with this paperback book. You will be silent.”
Like it so far? PM me and I'll send you the story! Thank you so much,
MDuchess
My story is about 9000 words, which runs to 17 pages on Word in 12-point Arial font. I'd prefer my story to be edited within one or two weeks, if possible. The earlier, the better.
I have published one other story; however, it is very different from A Slut's Punishment on the Green. You can view it here: http://www.literotica.com/s/a-wife-and-her-dildo
I will post a few hundred words of my story below so you can see if this is something you'd like to edit:
“Get up, slave,” Master Nicolas said. “We are going on a little outing today.”
Slave was wearing nothing, as usual, and trailed along behind Master Nicolas. She noticed he had a golf bag with him, which she had never seen before.
“Master, are we going golfing?”
Master gave her a hard blow across her backside for speaking out of turn, making her nearly topple over. “When will you learn not to speak, slave? You try my patience each new day.”
Slave bowed her head in shame. “I'm so sorry, Master, please forgive me.”
Master put his finger into her mouth and she sucked on it dutifully. “Perhaps I will forgive you, if you perform well for me today. Tell me slave, have you golfed before?”
“No sir, I haven't ever golfed, sir.”
“Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. You won't be golfing anyway. However, myself and a few friends will be on the golf course today -”
“Will I get to come along, please?”
“Silence!” Two blows this time, and Master watched as the blood rushed to her ass. “I have to punish you now, bad girl. I can't believe you are ruining my day already and it isn't even 6 o'clock.”
Slave looked up, her big brown eyes getting wet. She pleaded to Master with her features.
“Do you think I'm weak, slave?” She shook her head furiously. “I do not fall for your silly games. Now, bend over.”
She did as she was told. First Master would hit her ass with his hands. He liked to smack the left side first, then the right, and alternate. Sometimes he would hit both cheeks at once. Master got lost in his punishment of slave, but slave would say nothing.
Sometimes Master would use an object he found near him at the time of her wrongdoing. He had used a broom handle, a dust pan, a brush paddle, a rope, a wet towel, and even a rolled up newspaper, like she was a dog. He even made her bark for him, which she did.
Today he used his hands, and after her ass was sufficiently warmed, he cleared his throat. Slave could tell he was aroused, and wanted more than anything to be able to smile and look at him, but that would only make him more upset. Slave knew Master wanted to punish her without getting aroused, but she also knew that her ass was very pleasing to him.
“I will now strike you with this paperback book. You will be silent.”
Like it so far? PM me and I'll send you the story! Thank you so much,
MDuchess
