Looking for some workshopping feedback

[Primate_House]

I've written the first draft of a story that I will publish on here soon enough, but I want to develop it a little bit first. The scenario is a pretty common straight male fantasy - hot goth chick has crush on male lead and wants anal sex - but I want this to be a story with a wider appeal.
So I'm asking if anyone - specifically, women who like men - would help me workshop this story a bit to make sure that the female lead is believable and the male lead is appealing enough that someone might reasonably want to have sex with him.
Also be warned that this story contains POLITICS of a non-specifically leftwing, anti-Trump variety. The last time I published a story with a few lines of political commentary, people got mad in the comments so I thought I should be up-front this time.

 

[RejectReality]

If you actually mention Trump or any politician, it might get rejected. Hitting too hard on political issues can cause a rejection as well, so keep that in mind.

 

[SimonDoom]

without having read what you've done so far, I'll make a few blind suggestions:

1. Dump the politics. Even if your story is accepted, the politics won't help you get a better reception. Maybe some very vague references if it's relevant to the characters, but otherwise I wouldn't advise it.

2. To make the male lead appealing, have him do something nice early in the story. It's the "save the cat" principle. A good deed will tip off the readers that he's a good guy to root for.

3. Same thing with the female lead, but people also like female leads to be cute and vulnerable. That's a cliche, but it tends to work. Have her do something early on that establishes her vulnerability.

4. A lot of this depends on point of view. From whose point of view will the story be told. My advice: pick one, not both. That way the POV of one character is a mystery, and this helps create romantic tension and interest.

5. Generally speaking, but not always, the POV character is the one that will have more uncertainty and vulnerability, so picking POV will help you in further creating your characters.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Agree, dump the politics. If you don't, Laurel probably will.

Writing by committee though... be careful you don't end up with a camel, when you think you're writing a racehorse .

Your plot-line sounds familiar... ah yes, a tribute story for one of my characters:

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/valentines-for-adam

(Suzie might get jealous.)

 

[Primate_House]

If you actually mention Trump or any politician, it might get rejected. Hitting too hard on political issues can cause a rejection as well, so keep that in mind.

Did they change the rules recently? I wrote a story before where Trump exploded and it didn't get rejected. This one is comparatively light: the female lead has "Trump supporters swipe left" in her dating profile.

I guess really what I'm looking for is someone to read my manuscript and provide specific feedback on how to make the story plausible and the romance widely appealing.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Did they change the rules recently? I wrote a story before where Trump exploded and it didn't get rejected. This one is comparatively light: the female lead has "Trump supporters swipe left" in her dating profile.

IIRC, around late 2016 Laurel posted that strongly political stories would be rejected, but I can't find the original post and like so many post-2000 policy changes, it hasn't been documented in the FAQs.

Reader reaction to political content is likely to vary by category. Readers in Lesbian mostly aren't the same people reading LW, for example.

 

[Primate_House]

IIRC, around late 2016 Laurel posted that strongly political stories would be rejected

This is a single line, so I'm probably safe. Like I said, my last story to address politics was a lot more pointed and it got approved just fine.

 

[yukonnights]

I've written the first draft of a story that I will publish on here soon enough, but I want to develop it a little bit first. The scenario is a pretty common straight male fantasy - hot goth chick has crush on male lead and wants anal sex - but I want this to be a story with a wider appeal.
So I'm asking if anyone - specifically, women who like men - would help me workshop this story a bit to make sure that the female lead is believable and the male lead is appealing enough that someone might reasonably want to have sex with him.
Also be warned that this story contains POLITICS of a non-specifically leftwing, anti-Trump variety. The last time I published a story with a few lines of political commentary, people got mad in the comments so I thought I should be up-front this time.

These type of requests usually show up in the Editors Forum. You might try over there too. I looked at your story file, looks like you won't need a lot of help — but you might do better if you drop the female request. Most any decent author/editor should be able to offer the input you seek.

 

[Primate_House]

I looked at your story file, looks like you won't need a lot of help

I don't understand what you mean by this. You mean you looked at the stories I've already published?

But yes, I will also post about this on the Editors' Forum.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't understand what you mean by this. You mean you looked at the stories I've already published?

But yes, I will also post about this on the Editors' Forum.

I think he's saying your writing is fine, and doesn't need too much help.