Looking for some feedback on my very first story

[incest_gets_me_hot]

Hey everyone,

Can I please have some feedback on my very first story? A heads up, it is posted at the Incest/Taboo category. Please skip it if that is not your cup of tea

The link to the story.

https://literotica.com/s/having-fun-with-my-aunt-and-mom

Please do not hold back as long as your feedback is constructive.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Andrew1968]

I read the story. It had an interesting idea: an extended family go away together camping or holidaying. Unfortunately, the dialogue was a bit wooden and un-natural. The characters hence tended to be wooden and un-natural as a consequence. I approach dialogue from this point of view: how do people actually talk to each other in a casual and natural way? I adopt the casual and natural as the style for character interactions. I also think the story would have benefitted from re-reading, editing and re-writing. Lastly, having sex with your mother and aunt is difficult to do, so the story should give the reader some sense of how/why this major taboo has been broken. The young man can seduce them, slowly and carefully, which is hot. The women can be dissatisfied with their marriages and secretly in love with their young seducer. Anyway it is difficult to convince a reader that a young guy just starts fucking his family members without a lot of build up, without seduction, without convincing the mom and aunt over time that it's the right way to go. On the other hand you can write about a mom and aunt who know what they want and they go for it. I liked the story though - I would give it a 4 out of 5.

 

[Whanmore]

The sex parts are the best parts of your stories. They are pretty horny, but there isn't a lot of dialogue or lead up. The Aunt has like no personality. Seems like whoever pokes a dick at the back of her she'd bend over and let em fuck, especially if she'd let her nephew. That scene is horny because a wife is getting fucked in front of her husband on a bus not necessarily because it's her nephew. I feel like the Incest genre requires that dialogue and buildup because its such a jump to go from family to lovers...so part of the attraction to the genre is the personalities and the dialogue. Also you may want to re-read it to catch some errors. Fun story.

 

[Waywardwench]

I'm cool with the category subject matter but cannot read / enjoy stuff written in the first person so sadly, I've skipped it but well done on your first publication

 

[Vanessadelbi]

The sex parts are the best parts of your stories. They are pretty horny, but there isn't a lot of dialogue or lead up. The Aunt has like no personality. Seems like whoever pokes a dick at the back of her she'd bend over and let em fuck, especially if she'd let her nephew. That scene is horny because a wife is getting fucked in front of her husband on a bus not necessarily because it's her nephew. I feel like the Incest genre requires that dialogue and buildup because its such a jump to go from family to lovers...so part of the attraction to the genre is the personalities and the dialogue. Also you may want to re-read it to catch some errors. Fun story.

i totally agree!

 

[sixfoot4]

Hi Fuck 'em! Loved it. I found it dead horny. Yes I masturbated to him fucking his Aunt on semi public, well why not it's an erotic story. Yes there are a few typos I'm a good proof reader and can list these if you like. Keep writing! Good luck! I have written but not published a father daughter incest story but nearer the bone than yours. Let me know if you want me to PM it to you.

 

[incest_gets_me_hot]

Thank you all for your feedback.