Looking For Mistress

[LoneLoopy]

Hi I am 38, a single male from Australia, new to the BDSM (sub) world.

After doing a lot of reading in some forums I realized I have approached this all wrong and felt I needed change my post as I gave nothing of interest for someone to respond..

So here goes the start of my experience,
Only a little over a week ago i got a random message from someone I never met asking it I wanted to become her Sissy Slave, I had never heard or considered this but after some talking i seemed to be talked into trying it.. she insisted that i buy a Sissy outfit, i had never thought about trying on women's lingerie at all but for some reason i was getting turned on that her showing me some outfits i should try on and that i would look sexy for her...
So now this in short i found out she was only interested in me paying for her services that she gets more out of it by the gains of funds. this tore at me and was not interested in paying her as i thought it was a mutual enjoyment and pleasure.

which leads me to my next venture in looking for a mistress who will like to train me and help me explore down this rabbit hole of and adventure. I have yet a LOT more to learn but I can only grow and learn from here.
I am happy if it is an online thing but would hope to grow and eventually be able to meet and experience things in person as i believe this would benefit us both greatly..
thank you for your time.

also happy to chat with anyone who wants to just talk about things in BDSM or to give me some advice for a person that is new to it ..
Thanks
LoneLoopy

 

[LoneLoopy]

Bump

Just a Refresh

 

[BellaAveena]

Have you gone down the rabbit hole and started watching BDSM porn?

 

[LoneLoopy]

Have you gone down the rabbit hole and started watching BDSM porn?

yes i have started to watch some. But i am more looking to try and learn experience it from other people than just porn. I get a different feeling from talking to someone about it more so than just watching a scripted porn..

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

yes i have started to watch some. But i am more looking to try and learn experience it from other people than just porn. I get a different feeling from talking to someone about it more so than just watching a scripted porn..

Ok, I'm not looking for a sub, but here is some friendly advice.
1. Fuck Findom ( financial domination.) Especially online. You were right to walk away. Your wallet has probably figured this out already.
2. Find a girl you have stuff in common with besides the lifestyle. Yes, it is hard, but you deserve it.
3. There is alot of talk about not "topping from the bottom." But that is kind of vague. When you find your "right one" make your hard limits known up front, but do not come up with new limits each time a sexual task is assigned. It puts a huge damper on things when a Domme thinks up a fun activity and after assigned, the sub says..."Oh, I dont know...Not feeling it but if I get time later this week, I might work it in..."
4. Online is very different then real life. Adjust your expectations.
5. Remember your Domme. She is not just getting off on telling you to do "A thing." Tell her things you would like to do to her or for her if she let you. Ask her about herself, her body and her feelings, especially if your relationship is online only. Act interested in her unique self, as she should you.
6. You can but DO NOT need to be a sissy to be a sub. Period. Plenty of Dommes do not want their sub in girl clothes...so go by what you are comfortable with.
Hope this helps a bit....

 

[LoneLoopy]

Ok, I'm not looking for a sub, but here is some friendly advice.
1. Fuck Findom ( financial domination.) Especially online. You were right to walk away. Your wallet has probably figured this out already.
2. Find a girl you have stuff in common with besides the lifestyle. Yes, it is hard, but you deserve it.
3. There is alot of talk about not "topping from the bottom." But that is kind of vague. When you find your "right one" make your hard limits known up front, but do not come up with new limits each time a sexual task is assigned. It puts a huge damper on things when a Domme thinks up a fun activity and after assigned, the sub says..."Oh, I dont know...Not feeling it but if I get time later this week, I might work it in..."
4. Online is very different then real life. Adjust your expectations.
5. Remember your Domme. She is not just getting off on telling you to do "A thing." Tell her things you would like to do to her or for her if she let you. Ask her about herself, her body and her feelings, especially if your relationship is online only. Act interested in her unique self, as she should you.
6. You can but DO NOT need to be a sissy to be a sub. Period. Plenty of Dommes do not want their sub in girl clothes...so go by what you are comfortable with.
Hope this helps a bit....

Thank you so much for the Advice, I really appreciate it.
Yes i have become aware very quickly that I'm not into Findom. my wallet is a very much a lot better off, only a little sore ..
since my first post i have done a lot more reading and research on it all, yes i understand that not all would like that was just explaining my experience and that it aroused me, whether it was only due to being told what to do or actual wearing of lingerie (hasn't happened yet) I am yet to find out.. I had so many emotions from this that i needed to express/search for people who understand and have the similar interest.. Be able to talk more about it..
Thank you once again Laura I will defiantly be taking all of your advice onboard...

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

Thank you so much for the Advice, I really appreciate it.
Yes i have become aware very quickly that I'm not into Findom. my wallet is a very much a lot better off, only a little sore ..
since my first post i have done a lot more reading and research on it all, yes i understand that not all would like that was just explaining my experience and that it aroused me, whether it was only due to being told what to do or actual wearing of lingerie (hasn't happened yet) I am yet to find out.. I had so many emotions from this that i needed to express/search for people who understand and have the similar interest.. Be able to talk more about it..
Thank you once again Laura I will defiantly be taking all of your advice onboard...

Never a problem!