Looking for help or advise.

[firefighterscott]

I have posted a few threads on here and haven't had a lot if luck. I'm looking for a online type of relationship and specially a good friendship. I could use help from women I've talk to before and tell me what is turning you away or maybe from someone new who would like to chat and see how it goes. I really am a nice guy when you get to know me. Any help or advise would be great. I hope to get a lot of responses and to make some new friends very soon.

 

[Simone808619]

Ok here is my advise. You bump waaaaaaay too much. If a thread is dead it isn't going to be revived by you bumping it. When you look at one of your threads, you are the only one there. And all those bumps
Don't look good. Granted you are not on the good side of the man woman ratio. Sorry about that. Try a thread that starts a conversation, or allows is to se who you are...just simply asking for a pm
And bumping seems to not be working. Anyhow there Are my two cents. Hope it helps.

 

[firefighterscott]

Ok here is my advise. You bump waaaaaaay too much. If a thread is dead it isn't going to be revived by you bumping it. When you look at one of your threads, you are the only one there. And all those bumps
Don't look good. Granted you are not on the good side of the man woman ratio. Sorry about that. Try a thread that starts a conversation, or allows is to se who you are...just simply asking for a pm
And bumping seems to not be working. Anyhow there Are my two cents. Hope it helps.

Thank you for being honest

 

[CrimsonK]

I have posted a few threads on here and haven't had a lot if luck. I'm looking for a online type of relationship and specially a good friendship. I could use help from women I've talk to before and tell me what is turning you away or maybe from someone new who would like to chat and see how it goes. I really am a nice guy when you get to know me. Any help or advise would be great. I hope to get a lot of responses and to make some new friends very soon.

We have sent some pm's back and forth. In your ads and your signature line you say you're interested in having a conversation about anything. But your pm's were very direct and actually scared me. When I askd if we could shift the conversation to something a bit milder until we got to know each other, you pushed. That was a turn off and didn't help me feel relaxed around you.

You know what you want. Be honest upfront.

 

[firefighterscott]

We have sent some pm's back and forth. In your ads and your signature line you say you're interested in having a conversation about anything. But your pm's were very direct and actually scared me. When I askd if we could shift the conversation to something a bit milder until we got to know each other, you pushed. That was a turn off and didn't help me feel relaxed around you.

You know what you want. Be honest upfront.

Thank you and you are very right. I'm very sorry if I scared you off and hope you will give me another chance.

 

[firefighterscott]

Good morning I have got some great advise but could always you more. Thank you to the ones that did comment and I hope if I did scare anyone off you will give me another chance to show you I'm a nice guy.

 

[suckonsimon]

Scott, a suggestion or two from a guy?

How about just a bit more info on your profile, including your age and marital status. I think the gals like to know that. And a bit about your interests too?

I think it's brave of you to show yourself in your av. But your work jacket doesn't show you off well in that pic. You have the massive advantage in terms of lit interest among the gals of being a firefighter, and I guess there could be a pic that displays that more imaginatively and with a bit of sexiness to it. I suggest you take lots of pics of yourself along those lines and then edit the one you think shows you off the best and put it up there.

With respect mate! Simon

 

[firefighterscott]

Scott, a suggestion or two from a guy?

How about just a bit more info on your profile, including your age and marital status. I think the gals like to know that. And a bit about your interests too?

I think it's brave of you to show yourself in your av. But your work jacket doesn't show you off well in that pic. You have the massive advantage in terms of lit interest among the gals of being a firefighter, and I guess there could be a pic that displays that more imaginatively and with a bit of sexiness to it. I suggest you take lots of pics of yourself along those lines and then edit the one you think shows you off the best and put it up there.

With respect mate! Simon

Thank you and I will work on it.

 

[firefighterscott]

Looking to try out my new advise if anyone wants to chat.

 

[eyzf3]

I think just being honest is good

 

[firefighterscott]

I think just being honest is good

Thank u and you are right. I am honest when I chat.

 

[surferjake]

From a guy; (an old, old, married, experienced guy)

just on this thread you still come off a bit needy and pushy.. "give me another chance" and "please anyone want to chat". You want to make some new friends 'very soon.' But you need to accept that friends don't come quickly or immediately.

Telling people you're a nice guy, or a smart guy, or whatever doesn't mean anything. You could wear a sign and walk around with it, but it doesn't prove anything. That has to be shown, over time. Patience is a virtue for a reason.

Also - do you just want to be friends with just anyone? Or do you want to learn a little about them first? That's a big part of any discussion - learning about the other person.. not just pushing yourself.

 

[firefighterscott]

From a guy; (an old, old, married, experienced guy)

just on this thread you still come off a bit needy and pushy.. "give me another chance" and "please anyone want to chat". You want to make some new friends 'very soon.' But you need to accept that friends don't come quickly or immediately.

Telling people you're a nice guy, or a smart guy, or whatever doesn't mean anything. You could wear a sign and walk around with it, but it doesn't prove anything. That has to be shown, over time. Patience is a virtue for a reason.

Also - do you just want to be friends with just anyone? Or do you want to learn a little about them first? That's a big part of any discussion - learning about the other person.. not just pushing yourself.

Never thought of that and your right thanks

 

[sereneone4u]

From a guy; (an old, old, married, experienced guy)

just on this thread you still come off a bit needy and pushy.. "give me another chance" and "please anyone want to chat". You want to make some new friends 'very soon.' But you need to accept that friends don't come quickly or immediately.

Telling people you're a nice guy, or a smart guy, or whatever doesn't mean anything. You could wear a sign and walk around with it, but it doesn't prove anything. That has to be shown, over time. Patience is a virtue for a reason.

Also - do you just want to be friends with just anyone? Or do you want to learn a little about them first? That's a big part of any discussion - learning about the other person.. not just pushing yourself.

This.

Relax. Be patient. Get to know people (notice I said people) on here and avenues should open up.

You come off as one of those needy pushy guys that acts like he wants a friendship in addition to sex when really all you want to do is get to the sex part.

Like you would start a preliminary conversation and then be "Can we fuck now?", "How about now?" "Can we fuck now?"" I know your favorite color and the name of your cat, we can fuck now right?"

You don't feel sincere and you feel in a rush. You come off desperate and women don't like that.

Exhale, be real, stop being in a rush.

 

[firefighterscott]

This.

Relax. Be patient. Get to know people (notice I said people) on here and avenues should open up.

You come off as one of those needy pushy guys that acts like he wants a friendship in addition to sex when really all you want to do is get to the sex part.

Like you would start a preliminary conversation and then be "Can we fuck now?", "How about now?" "Can we fuck now?"" I know your favorite color and the name of your cat, we can fuck now right?"

You don't feel sincere and you feel in a rush. You come off desperate and women don't like that.

Exhale, be real, stop being in a rush.

You are ver right I need to sit back and relax and enjoy the company

 

[NiceNastyMann]

Being a firefighter for 20 years - first thank you for your service.

And FDNY? Never forget.

On the plus side - dude you're a freakin' fireman. Chicks gotta love that!

Con side - dude you're a freakin' fireman. You put on the call out gear and run in doors other people are bailing out of. Great for the job - not 'zactly the right way to engage socially. I see a few ladies here who have talked with you say to slow down and engage socially - likely good advice.

Get to know the people you are talking to, and if the chat happens to roll towards sex, let it - but take your time. Remember, the only medium you have here is the written word - and here a little verbosity goes a long way.

On the other hand, here I am giving someone else advise. Huh.

 

[firefighterscott]

Being a firefighter for 20 years - first thank you for your service.

And FDNY? Never forget.

On the plus side - dude you're a freakin' fireman. Chicks gotta love that!

Con side - dude you're a freakin' fireman. You put on the call out gear and run in doors other people are bailing out of. Great for the job - not 'zactly the right way to engage socially. I see a few ladies here who have talked with you say to slow down and engage socially - likely good advice.

Get to know the people you are talking to, and if the chat happens to roll towards sex, let it - but take your time. Remember, the only medium you have here is the written word - and here a little verbosity goes a long way.

On the other hand, here I am giving someone else advise. Huh.

Thank whatever I get can only help

 

[TiniMims]

......

 

[firefighterscott]

Being brutally honest if I was you (and a guy) looking for online fun and was a firefighter (which is huge bonus points). I would start a new account - new slate, take a pic with part of the firefighter jacket, no face shot, and something sexy like the torso. Bio profile would be something like "Hi, I'm Scott and a firefighter in NY. I'm straight forward, can be a little aggressive as per my nature but always willing to listen and care for others needs. I'm looking to make a friend on the long nights I stay at the station, being on call and saving lives can sure be lonely some nights. Things I enjoy to do are -nonsexual hobbies-." And take the advice you're getting from the ladies and gents here and just have fun with it.

Lay off on the personals ads.

Pow! try not to trip on all the panties that just dropped.

Lol thanks you may be right can I use that stuff

 

[ramyanetgrrl]

don't think too much about it. it clicks sometimes, it does not most times, and most often the reasons it works or does not for someone has very little to do with why it does or does not for someone else. just think of whichever type of person you would be attracted to based on their words here, and you will soon have a pretty good idea of what to say here yourself.

and of course, lit does not matter much, so the less you think about it the better. isn't that how I started? hmmm...

Ramya

 

[firefighterscott]

don't think too much about it. it clicks sometimes, it does not most times, and most often the reasons it works or does not for someone has very little to do with why it does or does not for someone else. just think of whichever type of person you would be attracted to based on their words here, and you will soon have a pretty good idea of what to say here yourself.

and of course, lit does not matter much, so the less you think about it the better. isn't that how I started? hmmm...

Ramya

Lol thanks I'll remember that for sure

 

[firefighterscott]

Wow I never realized how bad I was. Thank you everyone for the help. The new me is on the way

 

[theamanuensis]

we have connected but not chatted yet, but i wanted to post here for you and for those following that not everyone wants a social friend online...i feel that if i am posting on this forum or other sex-focused site, that the focus *should* be on sex.there are lots of places to make social friends in the larger context, but for me when i want to sext i want to get straight to it, the less i know about you almost the better. i want fantasy, hardcore detail, and to get off....and if a friendship develops that is a side benefit but not my goal. just my personal experience/opinion. i want a long list of come-buddies so that i can get off whenever i need to because someone will always be online to play with me -- PM me if you are great at explicit direct sext thanks!

 

[firefighterscott]

we have connected but not chatted yet, but i wanted to post here for you and for those following that not everyone wants a social friend online...i feel that if i am posting on this forum or other sex-focused site, that the focus *should* be on sex.there are lots of places to make social friends in the larger context, but for me when i want to sext i want to get straight to it, the less i know about you almost the better. i want fantasy, hardcore detail, and to get off....and if a friendship develops that is a side benefit but not my goal. just my personal experience/opinion. i want a long list of come-buddies so that i can get off whenever i need to because someone will always be online to play with me -- PM me if you are great at explicit direct sext thanks!

Yes some people do want that and there is nothing wrong with it. From what I'm getting from everyone is to take step back and show respect and let things happen on there own. I shouldn't be so pushy and want to get off right away

 

[Simone808619]

Friend, if you want to be a new you, LET THIS THREAD DIE. It's depressing and depressing does not get women turned on. I understand you want advice and you have it! Take the advise and start over a relaxed confident new you that isn't asking for advice every two seconds. You are a firefighter! Granted the jacket PI needs to be re thought out but I digress. Burn this thread and never look back!!!