Looking for feedback on two gay stories

SixtyMinuteMan

Really Experienced
Joined
Mar 2, 2005
Posts
260
Any kind of feedback, from simple reaction to scholarly critique. The stories are Educating Ken and its immediate sequel, Ski Trip, which gets to the sex quicker and could probably be read all on its own if you prefer more stroke and less story.

Like them? Don't like them? Think I should close my word processing program and slowly back away? I'm all ears.
 
Ah...

Any kind of feedback, from simple reaction to scholarly critique. The stories are Educating Ken and its immediate sequel, Ski Trip, which gets to the sex quicker and could probably be read all on its own if you prefer more stroke and less story.

Like them? Don't like them? Think I should close my word processing program and slowly back away? I'm all ears.

NOTE TO SELF: Pay more attention to the thread, "gay".

Okay, not a scholar here, but as I briefly read these (took me a bit to realize 'exactly' what I was reading at first) but I will share my reactions.

Pretty well written, good editing... however I have a personal distaste for "said" being used repeatedly. A big turn-off. Just read Dan Brown Angels and Demons, he does the same thing, drives me crazy, took me weeks to finish because of this. Not incorrect, just me. I prefer a mix of descriptors, not "said" over and over and over... The fact that something appears in quotes already tells me someone said something, don't need that reaffirmation. What was the emotion behind what was said? Was it a light suggestion, a desperate demand??? Was it whispered? Shouted in anger? Others may disagree, that's okay, just my opinion as you asked for.

I thought the premise for Ski Trip was extremely weak, being military.

Don't give up, don't give in, just dig in (no, not a sexual reference). Keep writing, keep asking for opinions, and keep getting editors' assistance.

And feel free to read other writers stories, appreciate their styles, adopt what might work for you.

Just my two cents.
 
Okay, I'll take a look at my use of the word "said." Thanks for the tip and taking the time.

Not sure what you mean about the premise of Ski Trip. Doesn't really have to do with the fact that I was in the service, that's just background information. The premise is basically a continuation of my early gay experiences as begun in Educating Ken. Do you mean I should have set it up more as an independent story?
 
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