Looking for Feed Back For My Story Hucow Sissy Gurl.

[Anarko99]

Hi everyone,

I am looking for some feedback on my story that I have published: https://www.literotica.com/s/the-hucow-sissy-gurl

Even if you are not interested in the genre of the story, I would still like any feedback about writing style, story structure etc.

Many thanks

Anarko99

 

[VerbalAbuse]

well, at the very least, it is well disclaimed and trigger-warned.
also, the disclaimers are written clearly, grammatically, well punctuated and properly capitalized.
I actually don't see any problem with that!

 

[VerbalAbuse]

text is almost flawless. I've only noted one punctuation inconsistency.
writing is clear and precise. grammar top notch. action easy to follow.
well done!

 

[Anarko99]

text is almost flawless. I've only noted one punctuation inconsistency.
writing is clear and precise. grammar top notch. action easy to follow.
well done!

That's some great feedback and I really appreciate you taking the time to have a look for me.

What do you think about me putting the disclaimer and trigger warning at the beginning, I haven't seen anyone else do the same on Literotica, so I wasn't sure about including, but I thought, let's see what people think.

I have chapter 2 almost done, chapters 3 and 4 are in progress and 75% done.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

wow, is this only the first chapter?

 

[VerbalAbuse]

What do you think about me putting the disclaimer and trigger warning at the beginning

many people do that, but I haven't seen any disclaimer of such extent.
usually it's a line or two.
sometimes just an urging to check out the labels.

I did have a look at the rest of the text. when I said it reads clearly, I was referring to the body of the story.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What do you think about me putting the disclaimer and trigger warning at the beginning, I haven't seen anyone else do the same on Literotica, so I wasn't sure about including, but I thought, let's see what people think.

The disclaimer is excessive, it's over the top. Enough to make this reader not bother with the next 38000 words.

I read enough contractual legal guff at work, I don't need to come to an erotica site for it. Not what you wanted to hear, but there it is.

 

[Anarko99]

The disclaimer is excessive, it's over the top. Enough to make this reader not bother with the next 38000 words.

I read enough contractual legal guff at work, I don't need to come to an erotica site for it. Not what you wanted to hear, but there it is.

That is fair comment and I do agree. I guess I am being overly cautious about my story because of the darker more legally questionable subject matters. I was also advised that Literotica will not publish anything that could be problematic.

If you have any suggestions I would welcome them. Perhaps I could take out the intro with a comment, please read disclaimer on my profile, and put it there instead?

 

[Anarko99]

wow, is this only the first chapter?

Yes it is! lol, brace yourself for the next few chapters they are in the works and are close to being ready. They start getting a lot more intense lol. Chapters 5 and onward haven't even been started yet though.

 

[ElectricBlue]

That is fair comment and I do agree. I guess I am being overly cautious about my story because of the darker more legally questionable subject matters. I was also advised that Literotica will not publish anything that could be problematic.

What's questionable from a legal point of view? You're not advocating terrorism, civil disobedience, anything that's illegal. There's no libel, nothing like that. You've written a story, not presenting a case in court.

Lit's policy rules are very clear. From your list of themes, kinks, whatevers, I don't see anything close to a breach - and if there was, the site would have rejected your story.

If you have any suggestions I would welcome them. Perhaps I could take out the intro with a comment, please read disclaimer on my profile, and put it there instead?

I'd not bother with the disclaimer at all; just use tags to promote the kinks in your story.

Disclaimers at the top of a story are bullshit, it's what's in the content that matters. Also, you're publishing on an adult porn site. You're reasonably entitled to assume your readers are adults, able to take their own responsibility for what they read. Sure, we all know many don't, and need someone to hold their hand, but that's really their problem, not yours.

 

[Anarko99]

What's questionable from a legal point of view? You're not advocating terrorism, civil disobedience, anything that's illegal. There's no libel, nothing like that. You've written a story, not presenting a case in court.

Lit's policy rules are very clear. From your list of themes, kinks, whatevers, I don't see anything close to a breach - and if there was, the site would have rejected your story.

I'd not bother with the disclaimer at all; just use tags to promote the kinks in your story.

Disclaimers at the top of a story are bullshit, it's what's in the content that matters. Also, you're publishing on an adult porn site. You're reasonably entitled to assume your readers are adults, able to take their own responsibility for what they read. Sure, we all know many don't, and need someone to hold their hand, but that's really their problem, not yours.

Hahahaah, I genuinely laughed so hard when I read what you said:

"What's questionable from a legal point of view? You're not advocating terrorism, civil disobedience, anything that's illegal. There's no libel, nothing like that. You've written a story, not presenting a case in court."

I think you may have guessed what I do for a living! lol

Yes, I know you are right about Lit's policies, I guess when I discussed writing this kind of story on the forums, I was told, "Oh, Lit won't let you publish that how you want it, and some people were very critical of Lit and not being able to write about anything that could promote harmful potentially illegal stuff.

So, I wanted to make it clear to Lit and anyone else who objected, what my parameters were. I don't want my story banned or taken down after all.

If I revise it, and take out the disclaimer, am I right in thinking it will have to be re-submitted for approval, and will all my viewing stats etc for the story start all over again? It's currently got a hot rating and a score of 4.82, so I'd like to keep that going and not lose it by revising it!

Thanks for your thoughts once again!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Hahahaah, I genuinely laughed so hard when I read what you said:

You're taking the right attitude to this, and for that I commend you. I've spent many decades around lawyers - and have probably negotiated more contracts than many commercial lawyers - so I recognise bullshit legalese when I see it.

How much did you charge yourself to write that guff?

I don't know what legal discipline you're in, but I hope it's not bottom feeders or ambulance chasers. They're the scum of the earth.

Yes, I know you are right about Lit's policies, I guess when I discussed writing this kind of story on the forums, I was told, "Oh, Lit won't let you publish that how you want it, and some people were very critical of Lit and not being able to write about anything that could promote harmful potentially illegal stuff.

Which forums? If you'd come to the Authors' Hangout with this, you'd have been advised straightaway, don't be daft. A short paragraph of trigger warnings at most, and even then it would have been 50/50 between "good idea," and, "don't need them."

So, I wanted to make it clear to Lit and anyone else who objected, what my parameters were. I don't want my story banned or taken down after all.

Lit decides for itself, that's why there's the review process, and the report process. Laurel probably had a good laugh at your first however many hundreds words. At least you passed the minimum word count rule.

If something gets through the first review when it shouldn't have, and someone reports it, you get a get the opportunity to fix the content.

No-one gets banned for a story rejection. You get banned for shitty behaviour in the forums, not for what's in a story. If a story breaches policy and it gets rejected, you get an opportunity to fix it. Rejection does not lead to a ban.

If I revise it, and take out the disclaimer, am I right in thinking it will have to be re-submitted for approval,

Correct. Resubmit the story - the whole story, with the revised text (you don't need to show the changes, just the clean revised text) - with the same title plus the word EDIT. Add a Note to the Editor to say what you're doing, then wait 3 - 4 weeks. Edits are low priority for the site.

and will all my viewing stats etc for the story start all over again?

No, they don't. If you EDIT a story, all the metadata and comments stay as they are. It's only when you Delete a story and submit something new, that you start all over again.

You need to do better case research, or get input from different forums. Just saying.

It's currently got a hot rating and a score of 4.82, so I'd like to keep that going and not lose it by revising it!

Well done. That will be despite all your disclaimers, not because of them.

 

[dirk2024]

Hi everyone,

I am looking for some feedback on my story that I have published: https://www.literotica.com/s/the-hucow-sissy-gurl

Even if you are not interested in the genre of the story, I would still like any feedback about writing style, story structure etc.

Many thanks

Anarko99

Hi Anarko,

Just a quick observation. You didn't use tags. They are helpful for readers, not only to find your story, but to help them decide if they want to read it. Just from your title alone, you could use hucow, sissy, anal and whatever else comes up in your story. Tag's can both attract readers and warn them away from reading it, which saves you from angry readers.

 

[Anarko99]

You're taking the right attitude to this, and for that I commend you. I've spent many decades around lawyers - and have probably negotiated more contracts than many commercial lawyers - so I recognise bullshit legalese when I see it.

How much did you charge yourself to write that guff?

I don't know what legal discipline you're in, but I hope it's not bottom feeders or ambulance chasers. They're the scum of the earth.

Which forums? If you'd come to the Authors' Hangout with this, you'd have been advised straightaway, don't be daft. A short paragraph of trigger warnings at most, and even then it would have been 50/50 between "good idea," and, "don't need them."

Lit decides for itself, that's why there's the review process, and the report process. Laurel probably had a good laugh at your first however many hundreds words. At least you passed the minimum word count rule.

If something gets through the first review when it shouldn't have, and someone reports it, you get a get the opportunity to fix the content.

No-one gets banned for a story rejection. You get banned for shitty behaviour in the forums, not for what's in a story. If a story breaches policy and it gets rejected, you get an opportunity to fix it. Rejection does not lead to a ban.

Correct. Resubmit the story - the whole story, with the revised text (you don't need to show the changes, just the clean revised text) - with the same title plus the word EDIT. Add a Note to the Editor to say what you're doing, then wait 3 - 4 weeks. Edits are low priority for the site.

No, they don't. If you EDIT a story, all the metadata and comments stay as they are. It's only when you Delete a story and submit something new, that you start all over again.

You need to do better case research, or get input from different forums. Just saying.

Well done. That will be despite all your disclaimers, not because of them.

Hiya,

Great reply once again and I thank you for taking the time to respond.

You certainly made me laugh again and that's made me feel a lot better as it makes my efforts so much more worthwhile.

I will revise like you suggested by taking it out from the beginning of my story. I think I will put it on my profile, so its there if any one wants to read it, but out of the way at the same time.

No, I think you can tell I am not into putting any shitty behaviour on other people, I don't see the point, I like good conversations, not slagging matches lol.

I write complex documents for Courts that summarize other complex documents, as you can probably tell lol. I am more behind the scenes than in the thick of court room dramas lol.

This story is my first serious attempt at writing porn fiction. My porn fiction is just messing around really. My science fiction writing is whole other level though, I am making far more effort with that, as I am hoping to become a published author, one day lol.

Anyway, thanks once again for everything, stand by for chapter two!