Looking for editor: nonconsent/reluctance and first time

mischievousSH

Virgin
Joined
Nov 18, 2005
Posts
2
I'm looking for an editor to proof my first submission, as well as give some constructive criticism. The story is about a man who blackmails his boss's daughter after he finds her personal ad on a sex site.

It's about 2200 words.

Here's an excerpt:
"I had met Jo once before at one of these parties about a month before I came across her personal ad on a sex site I sometimes cruise. "Persuade me to give it up," the title read. "Smart, sexy Ivy League undergrad seeking the right man for first penetration experience." Next to it was a photo of smiling blond Jo, topless. I felt as if the wind were knocked out of me. I thought about closing the window, but I was already haunted by the thought of my hands caressing the soft skin of her cheek, her bare shoulder, the cleft of her collar bone, skimming down to her gorgeous ripe 20-year-old B-cup breasts, her tissue paper soft nipples... "No, I can't," I thought. She's the boss's daughter. I could never. I was clicking the email link. It was done."
 
I'm willing to edit it for you, from that sample I can already guess what needs to be fixed but if you PM, or mail, me the full story I'll work on it for and with you.
 
I can handle this one -- i am an established editor if you want references let me know in a PM
 
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