Looking for BDSM checklist?????????!

[kushielstoy]

I think that maybe I have found someone to play/practice with!!!
I am nervous as hell but pretty excited to.

I am looking for the thread that has the BDSM checklist.
(Things that you want to do, or hard limits and such)

I perused the library, but I don’t remember where I saw it.

Any help or pointing in the general direction would be much appreciated.
Thanks!!!

K T

 

[catalina_francisco]

Try this link from the library.

Catalina

 

[redhead_witch]

Thanks. I was looking for something like this too

 

[_kiana_]

I always point people to this list at Soul's Haven.

You need to register and have a password, but it has some really good features. You can "compare" your checklist to anyone else's if you have both usernames. It comes up as a chart with each listing showing your rating of each activity right next to the other person's rating. And I believe you can print them out as well.

It's not as extensive as some lists can be, but at 200 listed activities it's not bad.

 

[twysted73]

The one I use

checklist

Rating scale for checklist:
0 = Don't ever ask me to do this.
1 = I don't want to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of me.
2 = I'm willing to do this activity, but it has no real appeal for me.
3 = I usually like doing this activity, at least on an occasional basis.
4 = I love doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
5 = I love this activity it makes me "hot", and would like it as often as possible.

* Note1. Some of these may fall under a few categories (example: Blindolds can be Humiliation & mental bondage)
** Note2. Some of these could be used for health reasons too (example forced exercising) or not used due to health reasons such as breath play and asthmatics.
***Note3. These are answered in a general term not differentiating between application to oneself or to another. Y = Yes, N = No, U = Undecided or open to the possability

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
Y/N/U # Activity
[ ] Belts
[ ] Bruises
[ ] Cane (leather)
[ ] Cane (plastic)
[ ] Cat (braided)
[ ] Cat (no knots)
[ ] Crop
[ ] Leather Paddle
[ ] Paddle
[ ] Spanking
[ ] Whip
[ ] Wooden Hair Brush
[ ] Wooden Paddle


ROLE PLAY
Y/N # Activity
[ ] Act as objects (cars, furniture, etc)
[ ] Arrested
[ ] Baby
[ ] Burglar Attack
[ ] Call Girl
[ ] Cowgirl
[ ] Interrogation Scene
[ ] Kidnap Scene
[ ] Little girl
[ ] Maid
[ ] Medical Scene
[ ] Nun
[ ] Rape Scene (one)
[ ] Rape Scene (multiple)
[ ] Pet Roles
[ ] Pony Girl
[ ] Secretary
[ ] Student
[ ] Teenager
[ ] Torture Victim



HUMILIATION
Y/N # Activity
[ ] Age Play
[ ] Bathroom use control
[ ] Bathroom use in front of others
[ ] Blindfolds
[ ] Boot worship
[ ] Chauffeuring
[ ] Crawl on 4's
[ ] Cross Dressing
[ ] Curse words (Whore, Slut, etc)
[ ] Curtsy in public _y [ ] Display of Yourself (public or private party)
[ ] Dom chooses food
[ ] Dom chooses cloths
[ ] Enema
[ ] Eye contact restrictions
[ ] Foot worship
[ ] Forced Cross dressing
[ ] Forced dressing
[ ] Forced exercising
[ ] Forced nudity
[ ] Forced masturbation
[ ] Forced prostitution (pretend)
[ ] Forced slave auction
[ ] Forced to be a slave
[ ] Forced to wear a leash
[ ] Forced to wear see thru clothes
[ ] Golden shower
[ ] Harem--serving w/other(s)
[ ] Hood
[ ] Kneeling
[ ] Maid services
[ ] Mask
[ ] Pet roles (act like a dog, cat, etc)
[ ] Pet play (forced sex w/pet)
[ ] Scolding
[ ] Spitting in face
[ ] Serve as toilet
[ ] Serve as waitress
[ ] Serve others (supervised)
[ ] Serve others (unsupervised)
[ ] Shave body hair
[ ] Shave pubic hair
[ ] Slap face
[ ] Spanking (public)
[ ] Speech restriction
[ ] Stand in corner
[ ] Suck pacifier
[ ] Catch/Swallow urine
[ ] Take Pictures
[ ] Take Video
[ ] Verbal Abuse
[ ] Wear Collar/form of collar everywhere
[ ] Wear Diapers
[ ] Write on Body (slut, sissy, whore, etc.)




BONDAGE
Y/N # Activity
[ ] Blindfolds
[ ] Breasts
[ ] Gag
[ ] Cage
[ ] Chain
[ ] Chastity Belts
[ ] Genital
[ ] Harness
[ ] Hoods
[ ] Immobilization (short time)
[ ] Immobilization (long time)
[ ] Inside a closet
[ ] Inside a coffin
[ ] Leather cuffs
[ ] Leather restraints
[ ] Mask
[ ] Mind
[ ] Mortuary bag
[ ] Mouth bits
[ ] Nipple Clamps
[ ] Rack
[ ] Rope
[ ] Saran wrapping
[ ] Scarves
[ ] Shackles
[ ] Sleeping bag (mummification)
[ ] Sling
[ ] Spread bar
[ ] Steel cuffs
[ ] Steel restraints
[ ] Stock
[ ] Straight jacket
[ ] Suspension (regular)
[ ] Suspension (up-side down)
[ ] Suspension (horizontal)
[ ] Tied to a cross _y [ ] Wrestling





EDGE / MIND PLAY
Y/N # Activity
[ ] Branding
[ ] Choking (mild to moderate only)
[ ] Cloth Pins
[ ] Cutting
[ ] Gang Rape scenes
[ ] Genital (weights)
[ ] Genital (cloth pins)
[ ] Genital (pins/needles)
[ ] Genital (rope)
[ ] Genital (vise)
[ ] Genital whipping
[ ] Gun Play
[ ] Hair Pulling
[ ] Hot wax
[ ] Ice
[ ] Fire and Ice (same time)
[ ] Knife play
[ ] Medical scenes
[ ] Needles
[ ] Piercing
[ ] Pinching
[ ] Rape Fantasy
[ ] Scaring
[ ] Sleep deprivation
[ ] Situational Bondage (ask me)
[ ] Tattoo
[ ] Tickling
[ ] Tit (weights)
[ ] Tit (cloth pins)
[ ] Tit (pins/needles)
[ ] Tit (rope)
[ ] Tit (vise)


FETISH WEAR
Y/N # Activity
School girl
Corsettes
French Maid PVC
Child/Baby
Themed Outfits
Lingerie
Leather
Slutty/Revealing
Uniforms
Complete Nudity
SEXUAL D/S
Y/N # Activity
[ ] Anal
[ ] Anal beads
[ ] Anal plugs (small)
[ ] Anal plugs (large)
[ ] Anal fisting
[ ] Anal (vibrator/dildo)
[ ] Benwa balls
[ ] Bi-sexuality (forced onto you or enjoyed of your own free will)
[ ] Chastity Belt (physically or mentally enforced)
[ ] Cock Worship
[ ] Hand jobs (giving)
[ ] Hand jobs (receiving)
[ ] Masturbation
[ ] Orgy (more then 3)
[ ] Oral sex (giving)
[ ] Oral sex (receiving)
[ ] Orgasm Control
[ ] Orgasm Denial
[ ] Phone sex (voluntary)
[ ] Phone sex (forced to have it with others)
[ ] Sexual denial (short term)
[ ] Sexual denial (long term)
[ ] Sexual Double Penetration
[ ] Swallow semen
[ ] Swapping
[ ] Threesomes
[ ] Vaginal sex
[ ] Vaginal fisting
[ ] Vaginal Toys
[ ] Vaginal - Anal intercourse (same time / double penetration)
[ ] Voyeurism (watching master play w/others)
[ ] Voyeurism (watching other play)

WRITTEN INFORMATION:

*Write down any other role play activities not mentioned above, which you may be interested to try:

*At this stage, what do you feel are your absolute limits:

*Do you have any medical conditions and emotional concerns that I should know about? (if yes explain below) :

*Why and when did you get into the scene:

*What do you seek from your Dominant:

What do you offer as a submissive (emotionally and spiritually)

 

[Ladythunder]

The Soul's haven list is the one I use too

I find it the clearest, most comprehensive one I've come across so far, so many of the others leave gaping holes of possibility, grey areas and so many are yes or no and each time I have tried to use them they end up being modified with half a dozen little footnotes

The souls haven one I did hasn't a single footnote lol

 

[_kiana_]

and so many are yes or no

I agree with your whole post, but this is something I wanted to add onto.

Yes/no checklists give the other partner incomplete information, IMO. (And note I didn't say the PYL, because I believe both parties should fill out lists to show each other.) Lists that allow you to enter numbers (like at bondage.com) or the smiley faces of the Soul's Haven gives more complete information. Instead of a simple "yes" it could be "I have to have this activity to be fulfilled," "I really like this activity but it's not essential," or "I enjoy it but not only occasionally." And the same goes for the negative side of the scale.

All that extra information just makes it easier and quicker for our partners to get inside our heads and bodies and really have a fun time.

 

[kushielstoy]

Thanks to all and I will keep you posted.

As always, the wonderful intelligent responses from this group are AMAZING!!!

While I know that these lists are not the final definition in BDSM, it will provide a newbie like me a good starting point to come from.

(How do I know what I don’t know, if I don’t know it?)

I am meeting him tomorrow for coffee and a chat to see if we want to go further.

Thanks again!

K T

 

[_kiana_]

I am meeting him tomorrow for coffee and a chat to see if we want to go further.

Good Luck!!

 

[twysted73]

Ever the walker of limbs and branches......

I agree with your whole post, but this is something I wanted to add onto.

Yes/no checklists give the other partner incomplete information, IMO. (And note I didn't say the PYL, because I believe both parties should fill out lists to show each other.) Lists that allow you to enter numbers (like at bondage.com) or the smiley faces of the Soul's Haven gives more complete information. Instead of a simple "yes" it could be "I have to have this activity to be fulfilled," "I really like this activity but it's not essential," or "I enjoy it but not only occasionally." And the same goes for the negative side of the scale.

All that extra information just makes it easier and quicker for our partners to get inside our heads and bodies and really have a fun time.

I'm always seeking better lists to add to or alter my own.
I love to improve things to better get into my submissive's mind.
I placed mine up as a quick example and, if necessary, a reference for what is and isn't good about lists.