BigDickDom
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2016
- Posts
- 1
It's a BDSM boss/assistant story written in the second person, which may be the biggest hurdle for a prospective editor, unless you enjoy the style.
The story focuses on domination and submission themes, that is heavy on forced exhibitionism, teasing and orgasm denial/control. Throughout I have tried to keep the tone respectful of the heroine (you in the story) while still indulging in the masochistic elements that make it hot.
It's currently incomplete at 6600~ words and I could really use some advice. The dialogue is very one-sided and I'm also wondering if there isn't a natural break this chapter could end at before taking on the next arc (I have been trying for a long tease and ending with an orgasm).
It's the continuation of a story I wrote for a friend years ago, that she suggested I publish. (I have considered rewriting the entire thing in the third person because I'm having a lot of fun with the storyline, but it felt like it would be a lot of work and might be a weird form of self-plagiarization)
I am hoping for story advice first, then I would go through and clean up the grammar before requesting a final edit - no use spending the effort fixing the details if sections are going to be reworked (and it's very legible in its current form).
From a grammar perspective: I like to think that my grammar is pretty good, though I am prone to run-on sentences.
Below are the links to the previously published chapters, to give a feel for the style if that helps:
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-02
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-03
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-04
If you are interested please message me. I would be happy to send a copy of what I have so far and I will not be offended if it is not to your taste and you would like to pass.
And thank you for your consideration,
BDD
The story focuses on domination and submission themes, that is heavy on forced exhibitionism, teasing and orgasm denial/control. Throughout I have tried to keep the tone respectful of the heroine (you in the story) while still indulging in the masochistic elements that make it hot.
It's currently incomplete at 6600~ words and I could really use some advice. The dialogue is very one-sided and I'm also wondering if there isn't a natural break this chapter could end at before taking on the next arc (I have been trying for a long tease and ending with an orgasm).
It's the continuation of a story I wrote for a friend years ago, that she suggested I publish. (I have considered rewriting the entire thing in the third person because I'm having a lot of fun with the storyline, but it felt like it would be a lot of work and might be a weird form of self-plagiarization)
I am hoping for story advice first, then I would go through and clean up the grammar before requesting a final edit - no use spending the effort fixing the details if sections are going to be reworked (and it's very legible in its current form).
From a grammar perspective: I like to think that my grammar is pretty good, though I am prone to run-on sentences.
Below are the links to the previously published chapters, to give a feel for the style if that helps:
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-02
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-03
https://www.literotica.com/s/your-new-job-pt-04
If you are interested please message me. I would be happy to send a copy of what I have so far and I will not be offended if it is not to your taste and you would like to pass.
And thank you for your consideration,
BDD
