Soldieringon
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2015
- Posts
- 20
I had an account here years ago and my stories (both of them) fell very flat. I have written a new story, and would like to have someone take a look at it from all angles.
It's a basic play on power dynamics, a little bit of blackmail, and a student teacher relationship (college freshman, all persons over age 18).
Snippet:
It's a basic play on power dynamics, a little bit of blackmail, and a student teacher relationship (college freshman, all persons over age 18).
Snippet:
She stood in front of my desk wearing deck shoes (sans socks), and those shorts where the pockets hang against her thighs in spite of the cold November weather. A black jacket with faux fur trim was slung over her arm, and a pink shirt with a caricature of Sanrio’s Hello Kitty with breasts for eyes read ‘Hello, Titty.’ The shirt almost touched her shorts. Almost. I wondered what, if anything was under those clothes.
I quickly caught myself before I stared too hard. “I didn’t know you were on scholarship. What are you here for?”
“Cheer,” she replied. She cast her eyes down in an attempt at humility and my eyes followed hers down a long expanse of creamy freckled thigh. I could tell she was a natural redhead. They don’t tan. Those shorts should be illegal in most states.
She continued, “If I lose my scholarship I lose my student housing, and my parents don’t have enough money to help me pay for it. I’d get suspended, and have to go home at the end of next semester.” I looked back up, barely lingering on her tight shirt. I couldn’t see a bra underneath, but I couldn’t see her nipples either. The barest hint of tight midriff caught my eye and held me there. For a second I wondered what her body would feel like pressed against mine.
I fingered the wedding ring I had promised not to take off until after the divorce with Amanda was finalized. We were still waiting on a court date to determine who got the house. I was in a cheap apartment near the school while the court’s calendar was being determined. “You’d most likely only be on academic suspension,” I countered. “How bad are your other grades?”
“I have an A in phys. Ed,” she replied, clearly proud of herself. “Algebra II, I think, a D…” There were slight pauses as she recounted her grades to me. “And I don’t know about your class, but I suspect it’s not good.” She blushed, and her freckles stood out dark against her pink nose and cheeks.
I quickly caught myself before I stared too hard. “I didn’t know you were on scholarship. What are you here for?”
“Cheer,” she replied. She cast her eyes down in an attempt at humility and my eyes followed hers down a long expanse of creamy freckled thigh. I could tell she was a natural redhead. They don’t tan. Those shorts should be illegal in most states.
She continued, “If I lose my scholarship I lose my student housing, and my parents don’t have enough money to help me pay for it. I’d get suspended, and have to go home at the end of next semester.” I looked back up, barely lingering on her tight shirt. I couldn’t see a bra underneath, but I couldn’t see her nipples either. The barest hint of tight midriff caught my eye and held me there. For a second I wondered what her body would feel like pressed against mine.
I fingered the wedding ring I had promised not to take off until after the divorce with Amanda was finalized. We were still waiting on a court date to determine who got the house. I was in a cheap apartment near the school while the court’s calendar was being determined. “You’d most likely only be on academic suspension,” I countered. “How bad are your other grades?”
“I have an A in phys. Ed,” she replied, clearly proud of herself. “Algebra II, I think, a D…” There were slight pauses as she recounted her grades to me. “And I don’t know about your class, but I suspect it’s not good.” She blushed, and her freckles stood out dark against her pink nose and cheeks.
. "Beta reader" (see the sticky post in this forum, I didn't see it until after I posted my own edit request) is probably what I'd be. I have a story, 9600 words, group sex, anal, mild to moderate anal kink, incest with adult cousins. I'll trade beta-reading with you if you're interested. PM if you're interested?
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