Looking for advice on pronouns in a pending short story project

Demiurging

Really Experienced
Joined
Feb 19, 2021
Posts
129
Not what you're thinking.

I've got a story I'm about to start which will involve a threesome in which two out of three character's sexes will be hidden from both the other character and the reader until the twist ending (crossdressing/gay), and I'm already dreading how often I'm going to have problems with "them" singular and "them" plural. I've got some techniques saved up from lesbian stories, "she/she", but I'm wondering if any of you have done something similar and what kind of solutions you've used.

I really, really don't want to have to address each one by name every time they do anything, especially since I plan on having them moving through the scene in quick succession.
 
How will you phyically make the 2 unknown characters different? Focus on those aspects when being singular, and save 'them' as much as possible for plural moments.
"The one with course, rough hands was touching my left leg, pulling the hand up and down seductively. While the person with the soft, smaller hands was playing with my nipples through my t-shirt. I wished either one of them would fully undress me. Or at least remove the blindfold and let me see their faces."

Also, don't mix actions of single and actions of double in the same paragraph.
"The soft handed one let go of my chest, and moved to between my legs, pulling my trousers down. The rough handed one also stopped touching my legs."
(break)
"Together, they began to take turns kissing and touching me between my legs, teasing me by kissing my inner thigh, but never going closer to the centre. They could see how excited I was. But they kept teasing, instead of touching where my soul longed for them to touch"
 
If the ending is a twist and the character who you are keeping in the dark is making assumptions, could you refer to them by "she" throughout (or the assumed gender), before the rug is pulled out from under the audience/character and we realise it should have been "he" (or other) all along?
 
How will you phyically make the 2 unknown characters different? Focus on those aspects when being singular, and save 'them' as much as possible for plural moments.
"The one with course, rough hands was touching my left leg, pulling the hand up and down seductively. While the person with the soft, smaller hands was playing with my nipples through my t-shirt. I wished either one of them would fully undress me. Or at least remove the blindfold and let me see their faces."

Also, don't mix actions of single and actions of double in the same paragraph.
"The soft handed one let go of my chest, and moved to between my legs, pulling my trousers down. The rough handed one also stopped touching my legs."
(break)
"Together, they began to take turns kissing and touching me between my legs, teasing me by kissing my inner thigh, but never going closer to the centre. They could see how excited I was. But they kept teasing, instead of touching where my soul longed for them to touch"
I'd like that as a solution, but the concept is that they're identical twins. It's kind of a carnival game setup (if you've ever seen Derpixion's Mime and dash, kinda like that).
A-la "who's the woman? Guess and win a prize." with emphasis put on the identical point, it's "neither".
 
Not what you're thinking.

I've got a story I'm about to start which will involve a threesome in which two out of three character's sexes will be hidden from both the other character and the reader until the twist ending (crossdressing/gay), and I'm already dreading how often I'm going to have problems with "them" singular and "them" plural. I've got some techniques saved up from lesbian stories, "she/she", but I'm wondering if any of you have done something similar and what kind of solutions you've used.

I really, really don't want to have to address each one by name every time they do anything, especially since I plan on having them moving through the scene in quick succession.
Thing one and thing two?

—

The sun did not shine,
it was too wet to play,
so we enjoyed a threesome,
all that cold, cold wet day.
 
Others have touched on some good ideas already.

I suppose try to think of the person blindfolded; they can't see. But they can feel. Hear. Sense things.

Perhaps one is wearing perfume. Perhaps another smells like soap.

Maybe one breathes heavy, another softly.

Perhaps one feels heavier, larger as they move along the bed, while another feels smaller, lighter.

etc etc.
 
I've got a story I'm about to start which will involve a threesome in which two out of three character's sexes will be hidden from both the other character and the reader until the twist ending (crossdressing/gay), and I'm already dreading how often I'm going to have problems with "them" singular and "them" plural. I've got some techniques saved up from lesbian stories, "she/she", but I'm wondering if any of you have done something similar and what kind of solutions you've used.
It all sounds overly complicated. Is the twist really that clever to warrant making a story potentially confusing to follow? Have you wedded yourself to the twist because you think it's a great idea, where it might not be?
 
It all sounds overly complicated. Is the twist really that clever to warrant making a story potentially confusing to follow? Have you wedded yourself to the twist because you think it's a great idea, where it might not be?
I'm wedded to it at least through the first draft, as a challenge to myself :)
Probably less than ten-thousand words, so not too much time wasted if I have to trash it for being too confusing.
 
Not what you're thinking.

I've got a story I'm about to start which will involve a threesome in which two out of three character's sexes will be hidden from both the other character and the reader until the twist ending (crossdressing/gay), and I'm already dreading how often I'm going to have problems with "them" singular and "them" plural. I've got some techniques saved up from lesbian stories, "she/she", but I'm wondering if any of you have done something similar and what kind of solutions you've used.

I really, really don't want to have to address each one by name every time they do anything, especially since I plan on having them moving through the scene in quick succession.

Is there any requirement that both those characters go by "them"? You do have the option of writing somebody who goes by "he" or "she" but whose genitals don't match the norm for that particular pronoun.
 
I'm going to have problems with "them" singular and "them" plural
Try only using "them" as a singular personal pronoun, and using other constructions to refer to both other persons.

Like "they both" or "the two of them" or "the pair." or "each of their [bodypart]s." I'm sure you can come up with more.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top