Looking for a missing member

[Bella_Sensational]

Why do people ghost?

I thought I had a strong connection to someone I met via this site. I was going through some things so maybe not online as frequently but certainly didn't ghost.

He's MIA and yet my heart is still seeking him.

When I search for his name his profile is gone...deleted.

We had been communicating for well over a year. Actually longer.

I'm hoping he's out there and reads this.

 

[Michaelcat17]

Really sorry to hear that’s a long time

 

[Bella_Sensational]

Hoping one day I can get some closure here or he reads this.

 

[Deleted member 6810551]

Hoping one day I can get some closure here or he reads this.

It's happened to me, the worse thing is not getting the closure. I developed such strong feelings for the person, I never thought I could get so close to someone online as I did with her, and she left, suddenly. No goodbye, no explanation, my heart hurts a week or so on.

 

[Funlover11]

Hoping one day I can get some closure here or he reads this.

What was his name

 

[Utmale48]

Why do people ghost?

I thought I had a strong connection to someone I met via this site. I was going through some things so maybe not online as frequently but certainly didn't ghost.

He's MIA and yet my heart is still seeking him.

When I search for his name his profile is gone...deleted.

We had been communicating for well over a year. Actually longer.

I'm hoping he's out there and reads this.

I hope you find him and can get what you need.

 

[quietlylooking]

He may have been caught by a wife or IRL partner.
He may have been caught accessing Lit at work.
He may have felt that he wanted something IRL rather than online, and that his online relationship with you was keeping him from living his real life.
Or he might have thought you were going to ghost him, and did not want to be hurt.
Or he might have felt you were too attached to him, or that he had become too attached to you.
Or he might have felt attraction to you that waned for some reason; maybe health issues, maybe another woman.

Lots of possibilities, and you may never know. I'm sorry you are hurting! I hope you find closure and happiness again soon.

 

[Bella_Sensational]

He may have been caught by a wife or IRL partner.
He may have been caught accessing Lit at work.
He may have felt that he wanted something IRL rather than online, and that his online relationship with you was keeping him from living his real life.
Or he might have thought you were going to ghost him, and did not want to be hurt.
Or he might have felt you were too attached to him, or that he had become too attached to you.
Or he might have felt attraction to you that waned for some reason; maybe health issues, maybe another woman.

Lots of possibilities, and you may never know. I'm sorry you are hurting! I hope you find closure and happiness again soon.

I understand that but then just communicate it???

 

[Bella_Sensational]

What was his name

Doesn't matter. He deleted his account.

 

[summerose]

Let's be real though. He deleted his account so he's not fallen off a cliff or something noble.

He's specifically decided that you're not worth a perfunctory message to say he's no longer interested. He is clearly scum and not worth your heartache.

 

[Deleted member 6810551]

Let's be real though. He deleted his account so he's not fallen off a cliff or something noble.

He's specifically decided that you're not worth a perfunctory message to say he's no longer interested. He is clearly scum and not worth your heartache.

I agree with what you say and what you mean.

But, the way I felt about my ghost, I'm not able to associate negative words to them like that either.

Closure is something that's needed and not likely. When I see a notification that there's a message, there's always a tiny slither of hope that it's her to say sorry, and have a conversation, even if brief.

One question to @Bella_Sensational how did you build a relationship with 11 posts?

 

[summerose]

Nah s/he has breached all trust. The only thing "missing" about these people is their hearts

 

[Landshark1]

I’m glad my member is still attached

 

[MissPennyLane]

I could talk for hours about this but I just wanted to say I am sorry you're hurting and it's probably best to try to think of it as a wonderful, interesting, part of your life's journey and look for new connections or excitement elsewhere, even a new outlet altogether offline remember it for all of its fun and great moments, nothing lasts forever but time is a healer

 

[KyleR215]

There can be many reasons why this happened to you @Bella_Sensational

Loss of interest, he was found out, he found someone else in real life, etc...

There is the real possibility that you may not get the closure that you are looking for.

I think that many of us here have had the same thing happen to us. Myself included.

Good luck and I hope you are able to move on.

 

[LiverpoolMaster]

After all the hype about the internet improving lives and offering greater choice, opportunities etc., it turns out that one of these opportunities is the offer of being a worse or lesser creature than a person should be - and probably would be if in a real life social interaction rather than just print on a screen.

Some people will always go down that particular rabbit hole. Only a shame that it does not swallow them, never to be seen again and have a sign nailed above it with the legend "Good Riddance"...

 

[TryinToFigureItOut84]

Same thing happened to me on here. I was like a giddy school girl, we tried to match our schedules up so we could message as much as possible. It was so natural like we had known each other our entire lives. We talked about so many personal things. We talked about meeting, things we would do when we did. Even things he wanted to do, places he wanted to take me. Meeting family. It was VERY quick. Told me about telling his mates about me. I knew nothing could happen as we lived in different countries. But he kept reassuring me that we would make it work, that we would find a way to make it work. That I was extremely important to him.

He messaged me telling me to let him know when I got home (was out with a friend) and to be safe. To like 2 hours later my messages not going through on the platform we chatted on. He ended up deleting his account on that platform and here (or blocking me).

I’ve found connections, but NOTHING like that. Don’t know if I ever will find THAT kind of connection again. But when chatting with people, I try to keep that feeling of loss in my mind to not get attached. I can honestly say…. It messed me up in a way.

It would have been nice to know why. I think it could have hurt a little less.

 

[Towerrob]

Same thing happened to me on here. I was like a giddy school girl, we tried to match our schedules up so we could message as much as possible. It was so natural like we had known each other our entire lives. We talked about so many personal things. We talked about meeting, things we would do when we did. Even things he wanted to do, places he wanted to take me. Meeting family. It was VERY quick. Told me about telling his mates about me. I knew nothing could happen as we lived in different countries. But he kept reassuring me that we would make it work, that we would find a way to make it work. That I was extremely important to him.

He messaged me telling me to let him know when I got home (was out with a friend) and to be safe. To like 2 hours later my messages not going through on the platform we chatted on. He ended up deleting his account on that platform and here (or blocking me).

I’ve found connections, but NOTHING like that. Don’t know if I ever will find THAT kind of connection again. But when chatting with people, I try to keep that feeling of loss in my mind to not get attached. I can honestly say…. It messed me up in a way.

It would have been nice to know why. I think it could have hurt a little less.

I hate that story. Makes my heart break a little and it didn’t even happen to me

 

[TryinToFigureItOut84]

I hate that story. Makes my heart break a little and it didn’t even happen to me

It is sad. And I’ve put up even more walls than I had before because of that experience.

@Bella_Sensational I hope you are able to find the closure you need one day. Think of it as that person came into your life for a reason and/or left for a reason. Every person teaches us a lesson.

 

[StillRain]

Imagine being bitten by a snake, and instead of trying to recover and heal from the bite you’re trying to catch the snake and ask it why it bit you, and prove to it that you didn’t deserve to be bitten.

 

[Towerrob]

It is sad. And I’ve put up even more walls than I had before because of that experience

Do you have a partner in real life?

 

[TryinToFigureItOut84]

Do you have a partner in real life?

No.