Looking for a female counterpart to "Penis Extender"

[JamesMiehoff]

I am pretty sure everyone has heard the phrase "Penis Extender" normally meaning a car or truck, usually exotic, being used to offset some perceived (or real) short comings.

I was toying with a story idea about a middle aged man who goes through a second childhood and buys a penis extender (red Lamborghini). For some reason I thought it might be interesting to rework it by swapping the genders around. That's when I got stuck.

If cars are penis extenders, then what is the female equivalent and what is it called?

Inquiring minds want to know...…

James

 

[vanmyers86]

Interesting question! I'm not sure we have one. I mean, there's a boatload of bad decisions we might make - dressing too young, plastic surgery, an affair with the personal trainer, all of which come under the heading of regaining lost youth - but we women don't have that reliable cliche, like a sports car we all buy between 45 and 55.
My counterparts may see it differently, of course.

 

[Blind_Justice]

Maybe I'm feeding the cliché-o-matic, but women in movies and TV who feel the need to compensate (mostly bad marriages) get one or more things off this list:

- pricey jewelry (A girl's best friend and all that)
- expensive and often far too revealing outfits
- young and willing boy toys
- bad food and drink habits (ice cream buckets, champagne, junk food even)

No idea if there's a fitting name for it. Maybe Urban dictionary knows.

 

[NotWise]

A vagina deepener? I doubt they need it. On the other hand, well-to-do older women in sporty cars are pretty common in the affluent neighborhood around my office. Cars might work for both genders.

 

[ElectricBlue]

On the other hand, well-to-do older women in sporty cars are pretty common in the affluent neighborhood around my office. Cars might work for both genders.

Yes, classy women in two door sports cars, usually Mercedes, I've noticed. Perhaps they choose the car to match their name. Datsun doesn't have the same ring...

 

[NotWise]

Yes, classy women in two door sports cars, usually Mercedes, I've noticed. Perhaps they choose the car to match their name. Datsun doesn't have the same ring...

Here, the Mazda Miata was very popular in that crowd for a while, as was the BMW "land shark." Don't know what the model was.

I walked out of my office for lunch and looked at the cars arrayed across the front of the building. Mostly these are driven by women going to the grocery store next door. From left to right they were Jaguar, Mini Cooper, BMW, Mercedes, and BMW.

 

[Handley_Page]

I'd suggest a "Chelsea Tractor" (a big 4WD thing totally unsuited to London, or even City, traffic). A Lamborghini Urus or similar.

Unsuitable (excessively revealing) clothes, a queue of Toy Boys, the odd 'Personal Trainer' (Tennis?) also comes to mind.

 

[NotWise]

Maybe fashionable shoes.

 

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[TxRad]

Anything in hot pink with wheels.

On second thought, maybe that is way too far over the top.

Five inch red leather heels and a walker to keep upright.

Maybe I'm thinking a little too older.

 

[NotWise]

Five inch red leather heels and a walker to keep upright.

Yeah, a hot pink walker with high speed tires.

 

[Hypoxia]

Yeah, a hot pink walker with high speed tires.

Motorized and Web-linked.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I am pretty sure everyone has heard the phrase "Penis Extender" normally meaning a car or truck, usually exotic, being used to offset some perceived (or real) short comings.

I was toying with a story idea about a middle aged man who goes through a second childhood and buys a penis extender (red Lamborghini). For some reason I thought it might be interesting to rework it by swapping the genders around. That's when I got stuck.

If cars are penis extenders, then what is the female equivalent and what is it called?

I know one woman who gets a streak of her hair coloured and shows it to people as "my midlife crisis". Cheaper than a Lamborghini though.

 

[NotWise]

I know one woman who gets a streak of her hair coloured and shows it to people as "my midlife crisis". Cheaper than a Lamborghini though.

Cheaper than fashionable shoes, too.

 

[JamesMiehoff]

Thanks. I agree that cars might be over compensation for women as well as men, but what would they be called. Based on the lack of a definitive answer, there may not be an equivalent phrase.

I briefly toyed with the phrase "panty dropper", but realized that was more what a young man would call a hot car used to get women.

A "penis flytrap"? No, that was what happened to Emperor Wang in 'Flesh Gordon'.

Oh, well. Keep the ideas rolling. I would love to here what the ladies thoughts are.

James

 

[beachbum1958]

Judging by what I see of my wife's crew of gin-soaked old man-traps back in England, a Prada handbag with 'Prada' written on it in great big fuck-off letters (if anyone here's ever watched BBC's 'Absolutely Fabulous', then think 'Patsy' and you've got them). Over here in Cannes, it's weirdly young faces and suspiciously firm chests crammed into size Zero Balmain dresses and Mercedes-McLarens or Koenigsegg CCX's; the tenet here seems to be 'go big or go home', and judging by the number of bleached, trout-pout older women with one too many facelifts with 19 year-old surfer-boy 'boyfriends' it seems to be working

 

[NotWise]

Thanks. I agree that cars might be over compensation for women as well as men, but what would they be called. Based on the lack of a definitive answer, there may not be an equivalent phrase.

I'd stop looking for a phrase and describe the concept instead.

 

[Javahead]

I'd stop looking for a phrase and describe the concept instead.

Wouldn't "Cougar" be the female counterpart of the sort of guy who buys a Penis Extender?

Or for a close literal equivalent, perhaps the really crude phrase I came across somewhere - "she's getting her cunt re-bushed and a set of bolt-ons."

There is also the old-fashioned phrase "mutton dressed as lamb"

 

[JamesMiehoff]

I'd stop looking for a phrase and describe the concept instead.

This was just a rough outline but basically, husband and wife divorce. He has to sell his company for big bucks to split up. Six months later they meet in a restaurant parking lot. While talking, she points out that he drove up in his penis extender and he attempts to reply with the female equivalent.

That's where I got stuck. What is the equivalent? In this regard, when said as a put down.

James

 

[colddiesel]

Judging by what I see of my wife's crew of gin-soaked old man-traps back in England, a Prada handbag with 'Prada' written on it in great big fuck-off letters (if anyone here's ever watched BBC's 'Absolutely Fabulous', then think 'Patsy' and you've got them). Over here in Cannes, it's weirdly young faces and suspiciously firm chests crammed into size Zero Balmain dresses and Mercedes-McLarens or Koenigsegg CCX's; the tenet here seems to be 'go big or go home', and judging by the number of bleached, trout-pout older women with one too many facelifts with 19 year-old surfer-boy 'boyfriends' it seems to be working

Many years ago - before political correctness, such ladies might have been described as "mutton done up as lamb." The term in the late 50's early 60's was sufficiently well known that "spring mutton'' was an example that was marginally acceptable wheras "scrag end" definitely was not. The last mentioned was to be regularly seen in her natural habitat - Yates's Wine Lodge on a Saturday night, slurping her 19th Port 'n' Lemon

Only heard in all male company I think I'd be scared to use it these days.

 

[NotWise]

This was just a rough outline but basically, husband and wife divorce. He has to sell his company for big bucks to split up. Six months later they meet in a restaurant parking lot. While talking, she points out that he drove up in his penis extender and he attempts to reply with the female equivalent.

I don't know of a phrase that will drop easily into that context. He could check out her recently-enhanced knockers and say something like "I see you're trolling with fresh bait."

 

[PenelopeWood]

From a mid-aged female POV, anything denoting trapping a man will have a negative connotation for me.
…” I see you are driving a snatch trap”, as he nods towards the Barracuda in a sea of cars.
This would elicit a negative response.

 

[SimonDoom]

If the concept here is adopting a fetishistic attitude toward something that represents an augmentation of one's gender-oriented sexuality, then I would think having cosmetic surgery or changing one's style of dress would be for a woman somewhat analogous to a man buying a new car as a penis extender. I don't think there is a perfect analog to the penis extending car. It's an interesting question, though.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

This was just a rough outline but basically, husband and wife divorce. He has to sell his company for big bucks to split up. Six months later they meet in a restaurant parking lot. While talking, she points out that he drove up in his penis extender and he attempts to reply with the female equivalent.

That's where I got stuck. What is the equivalent? In this regard, when said as a put down.

James

Pussy tightener
Tit enlarger
Tit perker
Facàde of youth

 

[jehoram]

boy toy?