looking at erotic mail exchanges in a different light

[hornyhubby48]

A new morning, a new day, and a chance to get out of my system something that should never have been there in the first place: unrealistic expectations.

In all my previous exchanges I had expected to develop a really deep connection with the woman I exchanged mails with. And I am afraid this has kept me from truly learning and understanding, who she was. I had tried (all too vehemently) to interpret everything she wrote me as a sign of her being the dream woman I was searching for.

A most ridiculous approach, I realize now. When discrepancies surfaced between the woman I was corresponding with, and the ideal woman in my head, I tended to misinterpret her mails, to make them fit my desired picture. You can believe me that "fessing up" to this cardinal mistake of mine was not something I found easy to do. But I am glad I am doing it now finally.

I still like the mail exchange I want to carry on to be more than just exchanging horny thoughts with each other. Some degree of involvement in each others' lives must happen I am sure, for us to develop a liking of one another. And without some liking – or attraction to one another – fantasizing about being in bed together won't really become a turn-on.

But exactly how such an involvement turns out, and how deep it goes, is simply something we must allow to develop according to what our personalities are, and how well we indeed resonate with one another. Instead of my wishful thinking to impede the process of getting to know each other.

Too bad it took me so long to realize this. But perhaps better late than never.

In case you read this ad of mine - perhaps in conjunction with my earlier two "search" ads - and if you actually understand my rather difficult musings to begin with, and in case you agree with me, then why don't you send me a PM? In case you are searching for a mail exchange partner also. Who knows, maybe you and I might find we resonate with each other well enough to enjoy a very pleasing mail companionship.

 

[LocalHoney]

A new morning, a new day, and a chance to get out of my system something that should never have been there in the first place: unrealistic expectations.

In all my previous exchanges I had expected to develop a really deep connection with the woman I exchanged mails with. And I am afraid this has kept me from truly learning and understanding, who she was. I had tried (all too vehemently) to interpret everything she wrote me as a sign of her being the dream woman I was searching for.

A most ridiculous approach, I realize now. When discrepancies surfaced between the woman I was corresponding with, and the ideal woman in my head, I tended to misinterpret her mails, to make them fit my desired picture. You can believe me that "fessing up" to this cardinal mistake of mine was not something I found easy to do. But I am glad I am doing it now finally.

I still like the mail exchange I want to carry on to be more than just exchanging horny thoughts with each other. Some degree of involvement in each others' lives must happen I am sure, for us to develop a liking of one another. And without some liking – or attraction to one another – fantasizing about being in bed together won't really become a turn-on.

But exactly how such an involvement turns out, and how deep it goes, is simply something we must allow to develop according to what our personalities are, and how well we indeed resonate with one another. Instead of my wishful thinking to impede the process of getting to know each other.

Too bad it took me so long to realize this. But perhaps better late than never.

In case you read this ad of mine - perhaps in conjunction with my earlier two "search" ads - and if you actually understand my rather difficult musings to begin with, and in case you agree with me, then why don't you send me a PM? In case you are searching for a mail exchange partner also. Who knows, maybe you and I might find we resonate with each other well enough to enjoy a very pleasing mail companionship.

Your being a little hard on your self?

 

[LadyJS]

Unrealistic expectations, yeah I can relate to that. When I first joined Lit and found the personals I thought that I could hook up with someone who I could make a connection with. A bit naive on my part in hindsite for sure. What I found was a plethora of guys just looking for satisfaction for their next stroking session. The majority of them married but not getting any, so looking for their jollies on the other side of their computer screen. The ones who weren't married were/are, more or less, social rejects who couldn't get laid if their life dependent on it, short of paying for it. Again, just someone who wants a little enhancement to their next round of meat-beating. Okay, maybe I'm doing some broad-brush painting here. I've met some really nice guys, some I would call friends, who's first thought isn't how can I get into her pants. But they're married, so those are automatic dead ends for me. Sure, some people have hooked up on Lit, and I'm happy for those that do. But realistically, they're the exceptions to the rule.

Do I want more from my next connection? Yeah, I do, call me greedy and demanding.

Sorry to rant I can appreciate your trying to find someone to, as you say, resonate with. That's okay in my book.

 

[hornyhubby48]

Lady JS, thank you for your comments. And for your ranting. It was interesting to read.

As far as your specific problem, I'd say that you are definitely limiting your opportunities to connect with a man worth knowing, by insisting that this man not be married. have you asked yourself, whether this type of exclusivity is really essential for your needs?

 

[LadyJS]

Yes, it's essential for me. Sure, the next guy I talk with might lead to something more. And if it did, a wife or significant other is going to be a roadblock in any relationship we would have. They would always be there and always be a limiting factor. And even if a guy is in a marriage where he isn't getting any from his wife, he's more often than not going to stay with her. So where does that leave me? It's not like I'm in a rush to get remarried, far from it. But I want that option available to me.

 

[Ckingfun2]

Longing

I once found the resonance. Oh god it was good. It lasted a few glorious years.
When you find it it's the most wonderful thing. However, i,'m looking for it again though. It was so satisfying. I'm pleased I found it once, and I would love to find it again

 

[hornyhubby48]

hello ckingfun2

Your supposed response above reminded me of my mother, when I tried to explain to her a certain pleasant experience I have had in the town of XXX, shortly before her dementia began to break out in force.

Her "reply" then was "I have been to the town of XXX myself, that was in the summer of 1970, and it was damned hot then"

Don't you suppose it might have been a better idea to actually remark on either the ad as a whole, or on the discussion on this thread? In that case, I would have assumed that you had actually wanted to respond to something, rather than only ranting about yourself.